i'm still standing

“Are you fuc-“ Vivienne muttered to herself as she nearly buried her face into the confines of her purse, desperately trying to find the spare key to Sage’s house. It had been floating around in her purse for weeks now, and for some reason, Vivienne still hadn’t connected the key to her typical key ring. She knew there was probably some deep seeded psychological reasoning behind such a stupidly simple act, but Vivienne wasn’t in the business of psychoanalyzing a single aspect of her life right now. Especially not whenever that required a lot of emotional strength, and she wasn’t entirely sure that she had that right now. The only good thing of the moment was that it looked like their old neighbor - well, Sage’s actual neighbor - Liesl, was home. She smiled softly to herself. If there was something positive that could come out of this incredibly unfortunate moment, it was the fact that Liesl was home.

The pair had always been friendly with one another, and ever since Liesl’s incredibly warm ‘welcome back’, Vivienne felt a sort of bond with the woman - a bond that was strong enough for Vivienne to assume that she would at least humor her existence long enough to pass the time before Sage got home. With enough momentary courage and confidence, Vivienne climbed the walkway leading to Liesl’s front door before she was knocking and standing back slightly. She always hated unknown visitors, but maybe the same couldn’t be said for Liesl. As the door opened, Vivienne’s smile grew a little more. “I am officially locked out,” she explained with a sigh before she was tilting her head to the side. “Need some company?” It was worth a shot, and sounded a whole lot better than being alone with her thoughts.

Peak Seasons had almost become a home away from home for Vivienne Adler. Even with the years long break from the building whenever she moved back to Boulder, there was still a comfort nestled in the walls of her job for her to return back to. However, there were definitely problems lining the walls lately - and they all circled around Frankie Simon’s desk.

Vivienne understood why things weren’t good with Frankie, but the only problem was that she hadn’t quite figured out how she was supposed to make things any better. Frankie loved her and a part of herself knew that she had always known that about their friendship. It was selfish and hurtful to the other but it wasn’t like she could do anything about the hurt that she had caused - all she could do was try to fix things. So, that’s what she was doing. Vivienne grabbed her lunch from the community fridge in the office before she was making her way towards Frankie’s office. It wasn’t like the two were strangers to eating lunch in each other’s spaces, but it had definitely been a while since the two had indulged in such a thing. “Knock knock,” Vivienne chimed with a weak smile, her nerves suddenly getting the best of her as she stuck her head into Frankie’s office from the slightly opened office door. “Are you busy or can I crash in here for lunch?” Her voice is chipper, of course, but there’s a certain bite to it that Vivienne is sure will give away her nerves. “Nadine uh- she brought another tuna fish sandwich and I swear if I have to smell that one more time this week,” Vivienne explained, though there’s no need for the over explanation of the moment. She’s just nervous.

Ever since moving back to Providence Peak, life felt like a complete and total rollercoaster. Between the highs and lows of everyone’s reactions to her presence again and the ease in which she was falling back into things with Sage, she was definitely feeling a thousand different shades of confused. But she was happy, which was why she was clinging to the latter emotion. It was easy to be happy whenever she was splitting her time almost exclusively between Peak Seasons and Sage’s house, which was where she was finding herself. It was late at night and Vivienne knew she probably should be sleeping, but Sage was working another late shift at the bar and well, Vivienne was always going to be a worrying and doting brand of (ex?) wife to the blonde.

At the sound of the door opening, Vivienne glanced over towards the sound from Sage’s couch, a smile gracing her lips. “Well good evening,” Viv chimed as she sat up more from her relaxed positioning in the living room. She swallowed hard whenever her eyes landed on Sage, still finding herself in a state of shock and awe whenever her eyes landed on her wife. She had always and would always be one of the most beautiful women Vivienne has ever come across, and that much was scattered all over her phase. “Good shift? Do I need to crack any drunk skulls?” Vivienne asked, pounding her fists together playfully before she’s laying back on the couch once more.

***

It’d been too long since he’d checked in with Viv for an update. Not only for himself, but for her situation as well. The last time they’d talked, they’d had one too many and he was almost certain he’d woke up the next morning with a hangover sent straight from hell. “I should’ve came back sooner,” he admitted, but if anyone was going to understand taking their time with the process, it was her. “I’m just happy she let me come back.” It wasn’t like he’d done anything wrong though, but he’d left her in a time she’d needed him most and that wasn’t so easily forgivable. “Things?” Brows rose in a moment’s worth of confusion, but he could only assume it’d been those pregnancy tests he’d come home to. “Guess I should start with the biggest news of all,” he trailed off, fighting off the smile that inevitably played onto his lips. “She’s pregnant. Not sure on gender yet, but we have a healthy baby so far.” There were still plenty of tests that needed to be completed, but he had faith that everything would work out just fine in the end. “We’ve started clearing out a spare room to start working on the nursery and she said I don’t have to give up my BBQ pit out back.” Sucking in a deep breath, Bennett took a moment’s pause before looking her way. “What about you? How are things going with Sage?”

.

“Hey, at least you didn’t take four years,” Viv quipped with a too casual grin before she was laughing herself off. If she didn’t make jokes about the crappy journey she had put in place for herself, Vivienne was certain that she would go absolutely insane. She wasn’t proud of the things she had done in the past, but she was starting to become proud of herself again for the things she was presently doing, and that was enough. However, as soon as she heard word that the pregnancy tests had been positive and Bennett was seeming positive about the news, her smile only grew. “Benny boy,” she started with an excited laugh as she placed her arms out to welcome her friend in a hug. If she were being honest, she would be crying. It was like everyone around her was either discussing kids, pregnant with kids, or already had kids - and then there was her. Vivienne had just recently found the courage to visit her daughters grave. But right now, that didn’t matter. All that mattered was the new bundle of joy in the Miller household. “That’s so good. I’m so happy for you guys.” She had a thousand questions that she wanted to ask, but those could be saved for another day. One with preferably a lot of alcohol. “I can’t believe you’re gonna get a baby and the BBQ pit stays,” she teased with a soft laugh. “Who says we can’t have it all?” She might have been cracking jokes, but she really was happy for Bennett. Excited for the couple, even. 

At the conversation topic change to Sage, Vivienne can’t help but laugh. The sound comes off as more of a scoff than anything. “Things with Sage are,” she paused for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. Things were good with Sage, but Viv was almost positive that her closest friends and family wouldn’t think the same. “Good.” The answer came out easily before she cleared her throat. “I mean like, I’ve been staying at her house a lot lately and we’re just... okay.” It was a half assed answer to a genuine question, but for now, that’s all Viv could find in herself to give.

-

Rolling his eyes dramatically, Russ was still in shock that his sister had shown him this amount of decency. Sure, she was kind and sweet, whatever, but Russ hardly got to see his side of Viv. Thankful was not the correct term for how he was feeling about her. “You know for a fact that one of us is bound to be freaky, and Amelia being freaky does not sit well with me,” visibly shuddering at the thought of their other sibling having any sort of sex toys made him queasy. “Also, I don’t have a stupid surprised face, you’re just unaware of what hot looks like in a man,” flipping his nonexistent hair over his shoulder, Russ found his arm over her shoulders and smiled wryly. “Sweetie, gay and fancy are my two middle names,” laughing, Russ thought about the two of them meandering down the aisles at Ikea. “But also we can search for any other sort of furniture you may need in this place since it seems like you’re staying,” Russ rested his chin on her head and sighed heavily. “I think there’s something in the water making all these beautiful men straight, Viv. Not one of them bats an eye at me. Do I need to whip out a cowboy hat or something? Start wearing plaid unironically?” Faking a gagging sound, Russ looked at his younger sister as she spoke. “I’m glad I’m here too, Wiv.”

.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Viv asked with a laugh as she shoved Russ away from her. It was one thing to even have to think about a system with her brother and his sexcapades, but thinking about their darling little sister? It was like torture. “Do you think Amelia sips a glass of wine at night and thinks about how much better she is than us?” She asks, an amused look on her face and present in her tone. It was practically an Adler family tradition at this point to think about how much more put together the baby of the family was. Vivienne narrowed her eyes before she was deadpanning, “I’m literally friends with Derek Atkins. I know exactly what a hot dude looks like.” Her never-ending platonic crush on the man was always present in her body, just waiting to be expressed at any second. Vivienne walked over to the un-sheeted bed that now belonged to Russ before she was sighing out a laugh. “Is this your subtle ‘we’re talking about this now’ moment?” She asked as she slid her fingertips across the top of the mattress. “I’m definitely going to be staying here. So if you uh- need to inform mom and dad about that, go ahead. Tell them I said hello.” Vivienne wasn’t sure where this whole ‘chip on the shoulder’ act had come from, but Russ had allowed her to get away with it so far. “You say this now but Pride is just around the corner,” Viv reminded with a tilting of her head. “You’re going to be swimming in...” She paused for a second as she closed her eyes, not even wanting to bring up Russ’ sex life. Again. For the second time this conversation.

Vivienne could apologize all she wanted, about hurting her, or making hers seem like her feelings were there when they weren’t, but that didn’t help the way anything else was making her feel. Because she was lead on by Vivienne. She recalled that day vividly, when Frankie walked into Vivienne’s apartment and found it trashed. Things.. really hadn’t been the same since then. There was always something in the way, ever since Frankie moved here, even if Vivienne didn’t realize it. It was Sage, unfortunately. Still, Frankie didn’t understand. “Why’d you almost kiss me a few weeks ago?” She paused, bracing herself for the answer. “Why’d you.. do all of those things you did? Was it just because you were drunk and sad and I was there?” Frankie said, her voice soft. In all honesty, Frankie felt some anger over it. Probably more than she needed to, but there were times, even when they were in Providence Peak, that Frankie thought maybe, Viv liked her back. But every single time she was drunk, probably because she was sad.. and that was enough to give her the probable answer. She looked away at Vivienne’s words, because they barely made sense. There Vivienne was, saying things that didn’t make any sense to Frankie. “At least you’re not in love with me. I promise that has to make it ten times easier.” She deadpanned, holding her head in her hand as she glanced across the table at Viv. She’d been comforting the other woman for years. Emotionally and physically. To have to sit here and watch Vivienne react this way and feeling like she shouldn’t reach across the table and wrap her arms around Viv? It made her feel restless. 

.

For more than a decade, Vivienne Adler’s life had revolved around her wife. They had met young, fell in love hard, and married as soon as they were legally allowed to. However, their wild and passionate love story had come to just as explosive of a... pause. It wasn’t even something that could logically explain as coming to an end, because of Vivienne’s selfish actions and her sudden departure to Boulder. It had been a bad move on her part, but a move that had brought something so incredibly good to her life - Frankie. Vivienne wasn’t sure of her true feelings for the woman, but it was mostly because she refused to think about it. Even when they were having good moments, laughing with one another while watching trash television and drunk off red wine, Vivienne didn’t try to think about the feeling in her stomach - because it always came back to Sage. It wasn’t good and it didn’t make Vivienne feel nice, especially knowing the truth about Frankie’s feelings. It was why her mouth ran almost instantly dry at Frankie’s question. “It wasn’t just because I was drunk and sad, Franks, come on.” That much was true. While Vivienne didn’t know why she did the things that she did, she knew it was because there were moments that had occurred. Softer, gentler moments that made Vivienne’s heart pound - but that was in Boulder. God, Vivienne was the fucking worst, wasn’t she? She sighed heavily before she was shrugging her shoulders. “Just tell me what you need from me and I’ll do it, okay? I just...” Missed you. It was what Vivienne wanted to say and what she would’ve said if they had been in Boulder, but that was the whole problem. Boulder was Vivienne’s place to run from reality. It was just terribly complicated now that she had met someone that meant so much to her.

.

Sage rolled her eyes playfully at the woman’s denial over knowing anything about Asher’s actions, despite, at least according to her sister herself, being on the direct receiving end of some of those actions. While Asher slapping Vivienne wasn’t her reason alone for kicking the woman out of her house, it definitely played a part in the decision she made. Ultimately, though, she had watched her sister devolve too much for Sage to feel like she had anything left to offer her. Slapping Vivienne, punching Atlas, doing drugs? Her chest tightened at the thought of the chaos Asher had gotten herself into. It wasn’t what their mom would have wanted, but the other blonde had held such a chip on her shoulder for so goddamn long, she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to help her when the woman refused to be helped. So, Sage had done the only thing she thought was in the moment, and despite feeling a little bit guilty about it after a few days, she wasn’t backing down. “Funny,” She raised her eyebrows, teasing lightly. “Unfortunately, the lion herself admitted that she slapped you and I… I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve it. I’m not sure what’s up with her lately, but between that and the drugs and… destroying the nursery, it was the last straw for me.” 

The lips pressed against her head calmed her, soft and sweet and warm, giving her a moment to breath, to think about what she was going to say, to try her best not to get worked up over her sister’s actions again. She swallowed the lump building in her throat, desperate for the calming touch Vivienne had offered as soon as her lips left her head, the woman moving back to working on the mix in the bowl. “I kicked her out, Viv.” Sage laughed ironically as she continued. “I’ve somehow failed at being a mom twice and God still said ‘hey, let’s give her another chance.” Okay, maybe the breathing didn’t stop her from getting worked up, but she was grateful when Vivienne brought up plans for the day and suddenly, Sage was distracted with sharing the moment with her wife. “I’d really like that. What kind of lunch were you thinking? Because I’m not sure about you, but those pancakes smell absolutely delicious and I’m not sure anything could beat the taste of those.”

.

“I probably deserved it,” Vivienne said with a shrug of her shoulders. She wasn’t daft enough to believe that her return back to Providence Peak wouldn’t stir up some waves. While things with Sage had gotten exponentially better than she could have ever hoped for, things couldn’t be said the same for Asher - but Vivienne didn’t fault the woman. Vivienne deserved to be slapped a thousand times for the way that she had handled the events that happened so many years ago, and she knew that. Vivienne had done her suffering and while nothing was ever going to fix what she had done, she wasn’t going to judge her sister in law’s actions. “I know there’s a lot of stuff going on but slapping me is the last thing that needs to be worried about. I’ll avoid her in case she goes all WWE on me and tackles me at the bar.” Her words are delivered lightly and with a smile. Vivienne always got along with Asher, forever seeing her as her own flesh and blood most of the time. She was certain that one day they could smooth things over, but Viv certainly was not going to rush that. 

Vivienne was diligently watching the pancakes cooking on the skillet, trying to time things perfectly. It might have just been a simple pancake breakfast but they had always been her wife’s favorite. It was a special occasion. However, she definitely hadn’t expected the conversation to grow so sour, so quickly. Glancing over her shoulder at the blonde, Vivienne’s eyes narrowed at the content of her words. They were skating on a very delicate patch of ice right now. If there was just the slightest amount of unwanted weight during certain moments? Everything was bound to crack and break beneath their feet. It was the bubble effect happening, and while Viv knew she should probably ignore the words and continue skating by, she couldn’t. She flipped the pancakes before she was rushing over to Sage, spatula still in hand. With her free hand, Viv lightly grazed her fingertips against Sage’s cheek before she was cupping her face. The actions were probably far too delicate, but Viv still couldn’t believe she was allowed to behave in such a manner with her. “You have always been the best mother I’ve ever witnessed, and I know that’s not going to change any time soon,” she started, a whisper of a smile on her lips. “Asher is obviously going through a lot right now and might just... need to hit rock bottom. You just have to be there whenever she asks you too again.” It was a lot, but that was what being a sibling was about. Lord only knew how much Russel and Amelia practically hated Vivienne sometimes in the past for her decisions, but they were stronger than ever recently. Vivienne smiled before she was lightly tapped the tip of Sage’s nose with the spatula, kissing her cheek, and going back to tending the pancakes. Yeah, it was damn easy to slip back into their normal feelings. 

After a couple moments, the pancakes were ready and Vivienne was grabbing a plate to set them on. “Oh no worries, these are all for you,” she said with a laugh as she situated the plate in front of Sage. She grabbed a couple essentials for their breakfast before she was settling in next to her with a smile. “Hopefully it’s not cramping your style, but I was definitely planning on hiding from Russ all day. Think you could pencil me in for like, I dunno, all day?” Vivienne knew that things were sensitive right now, but if they kept their problems to themselves? An all day affair sounded like exactly what she was wanting to do. “We can just feast on pancakes until we get hungry again and grab burgers or something. I just gotta see that smile for a while.”

“You wouldn’t be friends with me if I didn’t,” he teased her right back. Though, that was hardly the reason the two of them became or remained friends over the years. Even with her absence, Derek had never felt closer to her since her return. There were few people insane enough to try to keep pace with him for the duration of a few miles and Vivienne was one of them. Derek couldn’t complain about it though. The company was more than he could ask for and her friendship, while having been on the back burner for quite some time, had not seemed to change at all. “I’d expect nothing less of you,” he chuckled, shooting the woman a grin as he his feet continued to slap against the pavement. It almost felt second nature to be running with Viv by his side. “Crazy?” His brow raised as he ran, his tone noting for her to go on. “My life hasn’t been crazy so you definitely get to go first.”

.

“Crazy,” Vivienne repeated the word once more, her eyes staring down at the pathway in front of them. It was nice to feel such a sense of comfort around Derek. He had a calming presence on Viv and truthfully, it was exactly the kind of energy that she was needing in her life. There was a lot going on and confiding in someone had been hard to come by. Things with Frankie weren’t okay so she was steering clear of talking to her. Things with Russ were always... some shade of on the brink of catastrophe. She had Bennett, who was a solid figure in her life, but he had his own thing going on. Derek was a good sounding board. “I uh-” She started. letting out a soft laugh as she kept running, glancing over to make sure she wasn’t hindering the man’s performance with their run. “I’ve been spending a lot of time with Sage. Like, not arguing time with Sage.” It was a clarification that needed to be made, but one that Viv didn’t even feel comfortable giving. They weren’t arguing because they simply were not speaking about the important things. It was troublesome, sure, but Viv wasn’t questioning it. She didn’t come back to Providence Peak to question things with Sage - she came to be with her. And she was doing that. “No but seriously, nothing going on? You have to have at least one juicy morsel for me.”

x

“I know. It’s amazing.” She laughed softly and shook her head. It had been a while since Nora had been in the studio and it was a nice change of pace for things there. It was still weird because her music partner wasn’t in town, but she was dealing with that as best as she could. She just couldn’t wait for this album to be done. “Oh, please. You know you’re the only one I’d go to for that kind of thing. No one does a better job than Miss Vivienne Adler.” She smirked and took a bite of her ice cream as well. “I’m sure it will be. My faith is always high with you.” She assured her. At the next question, she shrugged and sighed. “A lot, I guess. My ex music partner is in town with his assistant and my ex-fiance is in town too. Seems like this place draws in all the people from my past like a black hole.” She laughed a little bit. “What about you?”

.

Raising a hand, Viv playfully waved off the compliments that Nora threw her way. She fucking loved compliments, especially when they were about her career, but that didn’t mean she didn’t at least act like she was humble about them. “You stop that,” she said with a cheeky grin, a light rolling of her eyes occurring. “You spoil me too much with that.” The laughter was flowing easily as she listened to Nora beginning to dish her life’s drama and honestly, Vivienne was floored by what she was hearing. She raised the hand that was holding her spoon up to cover her mouth as she swallowed the ice cream that was left in her mouth. “Okay, No, you have to rewind a little bit. You just threw like, at least half a season’s worth of gossip at me.” Vivienne’s jaw finally closed again as she shook her head slowly. “Ex music partner, sounds dramatic. Ex fiance, sounds deliciously dramatic. Spill everything.” Viv knew that she shouldn’t be behaving like a gossiping school girl, but she couldn’t help herself. “I’m uh- I’m okay. Doing a lot better than I was whenever we last caught up.” There was a pause as she took another bite from her cup, slowing down her motions as she mentally digested just how much she was willing to give up. “I’m trying to get my shit back on track, you know? Slow and steady.”

Frankie wanted to yell at Vivienne, and she could, nobody was really around them in the building to hear.  Things about how awful she treated the situation and how she acted like it didn’t happen, or that she literally still almost kissed her all those days ago and that.. was never discussed, but she didn’t know if she had it in her to be rude. Frankie could be a little.. emotional at times, that’s for sure. Maybe a little too sensitive, and dramatic, but her openness and honesty (clearly) was something she was starting to regret. Either way, Viv staring straight at her wasn’t helping the way she was feeling, and before she knew it, she was opening her mouth to speak again. “I’m sorry.” She frowned, letting out a breath, “I know I’m being too dramatic and making you feel bad, and I’m sorry about that.” She willed herself to gain some composure. “I just miss how things used to be.” She rested her hands in her lap. “I don’t think I’ve regretted anything more in my entire life.” She chuckled with a shake of her head. “You’re hard to get over.” A pause, “And I feel like I’ve tried everything. You’ve been so.. entertwined in my life for the past 4 years that now that you’re not, it’s just.. awful? And I think the worst part about it is that you have Sage, and you seem so happy doing whatever you’re doing, and I’m just.. going to be the person who followed her best friend she’s in love with across the state while she had a wife because she was in too deep. And gets drunk at bars and goes home with strangers for the first time in her life in order to feel something other than embarrassment.” She wiped her hands on the thighs of her jeans. “And you look so..sad and all I want to do is reach across the table and make you feel better but I feel like I shouldn’t even do that because you’re with Sage now, and I don’t want to get in the way of that. I’m.. okay with the fact that you don’t want me like that. It’s just.. I think it’s the thought that.. I really felt like you did that just makes me feel.. really stupid.”

.

“The last thing you have to do right now is apologize,” Viv deadpanned, her words flowing openly and honestly. Vivienne wouldn’t blame Frankie if she started making scenes every time she crossed paths with her, but she couldn’t handle her apologizing - not when it was for having feelings and expressing them. “I miss how things used to be too. Every day.” There was a time where Frankie and her could spend hours together, talking about nothing in Boulder. But maybe that was the thing - they were only wired to work in Boulder. Vivienne had not been a good person in the last four years. Not to her lifelong friends. Not to the memory of her daughter. Not to Sage. But she had been kind to Frankie. She had reinvented herself with Frankie by her side, and now, it was like nothing matched up anymore because of Providence Peak. She knew all of these things, but hearing them come from Frankie’s mouth was another thing. Her mouth ran dry and Vivienne clenched her jaw once more to try and stimulate something - courage, perhaps, for the situation at hand. “Don’t feel stupid,” Viv mumbled, a sigh exhaling from her lips as she looked around the room. She would not cry. This was not the time for her to be crying, not when she was the asshole in the room. “I think... things just kind of changed whenever I got the divorce papers.” She paused for a moment, wondering if this was something she should even be getting into. It was hard enough for her to talk about casual things but this? It was near impossible. “The divorce papers popped the bubble I had made around myself and I’m... god, I’m sorry, Frankie. Seriously. It was never my intention to hurt you or to...” Lead you on. She couldn’t even bring herself to say it, because she was sure, if she sat down and thought about it, she had her own unresolved feelings for the blonde sitting across from her. But none of that mattered now, not with Sage being back in her life. Everything was Sage. “But I also can’t act like it doesn’t hurt to just see you around the office. I can try to reel it in, but I just,” she paused again before she was exhaling heavily. “You’re one of the most important people in my life, Franks. It’s gonna take me a second to stop looking your way when that’s the only thing I did for years.” 

“I’ll let you have that one.” Frankie said quietly, her hand gripping the table as she said It. If anything, it would help them avoid conversations just like the one they were having right now. Working with Viv was something she’d gotten good at over the years, but right now? Working alone seemed.. better. Safer. Less likely to make her want to scream. She usually would’ve jumped at the chance to work on anything with Viv, but that was before everything changed. Everything was different now, and this moment was only proof. Frankie didn’t like it. She didn’t like it at all. “I..” She tried to take a moment to explain why she didn’t want to the said project with Vivienne, but.. she realized she didn’t owe Viv a thing. “I’ve got a whole lot of other projects I’m working on.” She didn’t, but Vivienne didn’t need to know that. “Might partner with Erica on a 50th wedding anniversary.”

Frankie sent a glare to her computer screen for a moment. “Don’t worry, seeing it in person’s already bad enough, what’s talking about it going to do? I’m like, totally thrilled for you. You got what you wanted, and that’s great.” She forced a smile onto her face, the familiar feeling of dread rising in her chest. “Doesn’t make me wanna.. curl up into a ball and die of embarrassment because I just had to open up my mouth or anything, nope.” She gripped the screen of her laptop with one hand, her face warming up as she focused her attention on the blinking mouse. 

.

Sometimes, Vivienne wished that she had some magical life remote control that would work with pausing and fast forwarding through moments. It would have definitely saved her some of the past hassles that she had had to deal with, but it would also work perfectly in this moment. Vivienne couldn’t remember a time in which Frankie had turned down working with her, let alone doing it so that she could aid another employee with their own projects. She was trying not to seem hurt by the news, but sometimes, she needed to have her own emotions too. No matter how selfish. “Cool,” she deadpanned, her head nodding over and over again as she stared ahead at her computer. Vivienne knew how to work events alone, and always did it well, but things were always going to run smoother with another set of eyes on a project. “I’m sure you guys will crush that.” She hoped they didn’t. No, that wasn’t true, she was just... frustrated with the situation at hand.

However, whatever amount of frustration she had been feeling before was nothing compared to whenever Frankie started speaking again. Vivienne simply did not know what she was supposed to do in situations like this. Frankie’s wide range of emotions and almost complete lacking of fear with expressing said emotions had always been one of Vivienne’s favorite things about her best friend. It had been something that helped her get out of her shell whenever she moved back to Boulder, but now? It was definitely something that was going to take adjusting to. She cleared her throat for a moment before she was closing her laptop and staring across the conference table at Frankie. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do right now,” she muttered, her words coming out almost too soft to hear. She was certain neither of them knew how to navigate the situation at hand. “Do we need to like... talk about it or you can yell at me for a little bit or something but I just... I’m trying so hard right now to give you the space that you asked for but I don’t know how to do this right now.” Things with Frankie had always been easy, but now with the extra layers of complications added onto them? Vivienne felt like a fucking fish out of water with their friendship.

Frankie used the alone time in the conference room to get herself to relax, which didn’t really come to play for too long because all of a sudden, Vivienne was sitting across from her, and Frankie immediately turned her attention back to a blank word document on her laptop screen. “Thanks for doing that,” She nodded once. The hardest part of all of this would be to only focus on work, not the billion of other things she had questions about, opinions on, too many thoughts about too many things that she’d spent more time thinking about then she needed to. She couldn’t really find it in her to laugh at Viv’s words, because everything felt.. thick in the air. “It was on my to-do list, I swear. It’s just been kind of hard to concentrate.” She admitted, shrugging. It’s not like her sort of ex best friend, at least currently, slash person she had feelings for worked ten feet away from her. It’s not like she wasn’t getting things done. There were just more distractions. 

“I’ve got a list going for Monday, though. I’m gonna.. recheck the flower situation and I’ll get those table settings figured out.” She scribbled something down on her notepad, before she glanced up at Viv, running a hand through her hair with a small shrug. “How’s.. uh, life? How’s Sage? I see you two are.. you know.” Back together, or something. “Going on all the coffee dates.” She said instead, her eyes quickly traveling back to her screen for a moment before she was bringing it back to Viv’s face. If she couldn’t even look at Viv anymore, what was the point? “That’s…” She could lie, and say it was good. But it wasn’t, so Frankie changed her thought process. “Great for you.” 

.

“Not a problem. I had time during my lunch break to call,” Vivienne explained as she pulled her own laptop open, eyes skimming over her desktop wallpaper. Since returning to Providence Peak and successfully crossing off some of her big goals (i.e. not being a bitch to Russ, dealing with her repressed emotions about Ruby, Sage, etc.) Vivienne had been making strides. Once before, she couldn’t even mutter Ruby’s name without being emotionally decimated for the rest of the day - now, an old picture of herself and her daughter were her background. It helped her get through the hard moments of her day. Ruby had always been her strength, and Viv was just damn glad that she had realized that. “You’re good. I worked from home last night so I was already uh- ahead of the game today.” The vibes were completely off in the conference room, and quite frankly, it was near suffocating. She knew that Frankie was upset. She could see it on her face and for once, Vivienne knew that she was the opposite of what could be considered a “help” in the situation. She was the cause.

As Frankie listed off the things she was going to get done, Vivienne made the proper edits to her own to-do list, nodding along as she backspaced her responsibilities. This was why they worked so well together. They went above and beyond whenever it came to their individual duties, always offering a silent helping hand to the other. It was why she had fought so hard for Frankie to transfer to Peak Seasons - amongst other things. However, at her next question, Vivienne’s jaw clenched slightly as her mouth ran dry. The topic of Sage was just awkward between them now. Frankie had once been her go to for mega Sage emotions, but now? It felt wrong to be talking about her. Her own (ex) wife. Vivienne felt fucking guilty. “Things are fine,” she offered, eyes staring ahead at her computer screen. This was the last subject matter the two needed to be talking about. Her eyes flicked to glance at Frankie from above her laptop screen as she cleared her throat. “We uh- we really don’t need to talk about this, Frankie. It’s okay.” It couldn’t be easy for her, especially with how hard her heart was pumping at the conversation topic. Vivienne offered a polite, closed lip smile before she was back to typing on her laptop. “Um, I had a family reach out about planning some fancy retirement party in a couple weeks. You want in on it or should I just handle it myself?”