ora pro anima tua

The answer he received was the complete opposite of the worst scenarios he had came up with in his mind. There was a comment about the parties and Jongdae almost snorted because he certainly wasn’t the kind of person to kick someone out of his apartment, even more so if that person was his roommate which would make it their apartment. He was all about introducing some of his friends to some of his other friends. Learning that Kyungsoo knew how to cook and didn’t mind cooking meals for him made his excitement go up a notch and he had to resist the urge to pull the other male into a tight hug when he said he didn’t see a problem in going grocery shopping together. Hallelujah!

"Don’t be silly," was the first thing he said after the other had became quiet again. "There’s no way I would kick you out if I’m having a party with friends. You’d be more than welcomed to join us. I also can’t believe you also cook and everything. I feel like this arrangement is going to make my life so much easier, well, if you decide to stay here that is." He cleared his throat and motioned toward the hallway. "I’m going to show you the rest of the apartment," he announced before leaving the kitchen and taking a turn to his right.

"This is the bathroom," he announced as he opened a door to his right. "It’s a bit small but it’s enough I’d say. I personally don’t spend hours in there so. Oh, there’s no separate shower. It sort of goes with the bathtub." He didn’t step inside the room but he waited, just in case Kyungsoo might want to go inspect the place which he was totally okay with. If one was stepping out of the bathroom, there was a door that was diagonal to it and Jongdae turned to Kyungsoo. "That’s my room over there," he said once he was sure it was okay for him to continue the tour. Still stepping out of the bathroom, there was another door to the right at the complete end of the hallway and Jongdae led Kyungsoo to it.

"And this, is where your room would be."

—————————————————————————————-

And that's exactly how it looks like; how it feels like. Kyungsoo has forgotten his interesting venture inside the bathroom when Jongdae has presented him it. 10 seconds ago, Kyungsoo's all about yes, clean bathroom but the shower though...And now he's just... "My room." and is lost in translation probably for he has lost himself particularly over that window because he doesn't have windows except that panoramic glass on the penthouse. Kyungsoo steps in the room, forgetting to ask, forgetting social courtesy or etiquette or whatever social construct he's supposed to abide because at that very moment he sees natural light staining the floor and it's a purged light for the window is not panoramic - no shit. The window in this very room...is a window and it's normal. It's not opulent and it speaks of apricity come winter and the possibilities of muffled psithurisms come spring. 

And...

(The endless inclusion of factors slowly constucting a solid foundation of yes and probably happiness brings about a many ands in Kyungsoo's life right now.)

And...

He smiles for the first time in a while. He smiles that signature heart-shaped smile of his that makes him look like he's 12 and Kyungsoo notices this and... for the first time in a while, he doesn't loathe how he looks so vulnerable because maybe he is at the moment. But who wouldn't when the sun's in his room and it's all for himself.

…and finds himself in the middle of the sea of sweat and skin and orange and yellow and green and blue faces. His eyes blink and he comes face to face with that same man. He yelps but his voice is drowned by the wave of music. Kyungsoo steps back and bumps with a body. He stops, then, and he stares. He rethinks. Why the fuck? Often times he would lose himself in himself and forgets why he does what he does and this is not an exception. He only wishes that things like this wouldn’t happen in situations that would force him to mingle (e.g., walking and being in a middle of grinding bodies and staring eye to eye with a stranger).

Probably, somewhere inside him, he’s just curious.

(So. Fucking. Curious.)

As the loud, bass music played boomed loudly throughout the whole club, almost making everyone on the dance floor and himself in an almost losing trance. Moving in careful yet laid back steps, Dongwoo moved along with the music, totally not minding the fact that either he is being groped or grinded by another person or a few even, since being a dancer in a club, it was something Dongwoo would have been used too. 

In an almost split second, Dongwoo soon broke off his mini ‘trance’, thanks to someone accidentally nudging their arms on Dongwoo’s back from their dancing, and soon came face-to-face with the stranger he had seen earlier who had let out an inaudible yelp due to the heavy music being played. He wanted to ask the latter if he was alright but he watches as the other had bumped to someone as he had backed away and had stop to stare at something or someone… or Dongwoo himself even?

Staring back at the other or in what Dongwoo assumes the other was doing, he then moves towards the other in beat, of course and leans close to the other.

"You should at least dance or move a little or you’ll stand out. A lot." Dongwoo whispers his words softly to the other’s ears with a soft chuckle before pulling away and apologizes to the person that the other had bumped who Dongwoo then found out was one of his regulars around. Waving the other off after the apology, Dongwoo continues to dance to the music beat which is now changed to a rhythm of mixed classics, jazz and techno all throw in one track as he comes face-to-face again with the other.

The implications of standing out (a lot) trigger in Do Kyungsoo's small frame an instinct - it stiffens, it shrinks, and attempts to mold itself with dancing shadows. He's supposed to be hidden as is emphasized in his job description. But he's not on the job, and Kyungsoo finds himself still staring from under his lashes to what, he then realizes, a taller man with a leaner built. It's not that he's thinking of pulling out a rumble out of his fists. He isn't that type to throw punches. Kyungsoo, though, is definitely the type that is usually uninterested but when he is, he stalks the curiousity until he exhausts it...and maybe he goes for the kill or for the stab or for the turning of heels and of walking away. Many things, as per usual, swim in his sea of thoughts and they are but a wreck - a flotsam on an infinitesimal infinities of trains of ideas. Kyungsoo tries to wrap one though with his breath and it comes out round but hoarse and unsure: "I think I enjoy watching you dance." 

It's not very new for Kyungsoo to say things as abrupt and as raw. It's him and his social skills and his lack of assimilating aptitude. And maybe, it is part of his proclivity to just be as he is back at Germany - precise, straight to the point because notes are read that way. So he switches eagerly to reading the man upfront like music and he finds the man whimsical for no apparent reason or probably just for the lack of it (but there is, one, at least one reason). It would be impossible to assume what a person is without subjecting it under scrutiny without first impressions. And Kyungsoo thinks: whimsical. Then and there, the corner of his lips tugs upward and he dons a smirk on his face. He gets shoved from behind by a dancing body and it makes him step forward and magically, for some reason he doesn't trip and he keeps the smug expression plastered on his mouth. He's a step closer but they're still a personal space apart and that's very fine with Kyungsoo. He loves his personal space, after all. 

He then observes the latter, trying not to be obvious as he pretends to scan the surrounding of the other’s behind as an act. What lingers in Dongwoo’s thought was that the other seem… a bit too much in order and had very little humane sort of feeling in him.

Dongwoo had come across of few people like the other but he had never seem to see one who was pretty much tense than the people Dongwoo had met before. Of course, the other had seem human, most definitely but something about him seems different.

...and finds himself in the middle of the sea of sweat and skin and orange and yellow and green and blue faces. His eyes blinks and he comes face to face with that same man. He yelps but his voice is drowned by the wave of music. Kyungsoo steps back and bumps with a body. He stops, then, and he stares. He rethinks. Why the fuck? Often times he would lose himself in himself and forgets why he does what he does and this is not exception. He only wishes that things like this wouldn't happen in situations that would force him to mingle (e.g., walking and being in a middle of grinding bodies and staring eye to eye with a stranger).

Probably, somewhere inside him, he's just curious.

He wasn’t sure whether to offer a cup of tea to Kyungsoo right away or wait until he’d have given him the complete tour of his apartment. After a few seconds of hesitation he settled on the latter. “Would you like to see the rest of the apartment?” he asked and waited for Kyungsoo’s reply before settling into his ‘tour guide’ role. “Alright so, obviously this is the living room and you can also see the kitchen from here.  I don’t really have much to say other than if you move in, it would totally be okay for you to invite friends over and have parties here. It’s not very spacious, I know but it’s doable.” He personally wasn’t one to organize parties too often or at least the ones he organized would have found a more appropriate name in the word ‘soirée’. His gatherings were more about a bunch of people meeting up and talking about anything they wanted for a few hours. Sometimes alcohol was involved, but most of the time they were just all holding on to their cups of steaming tea and their healthy snacks. “I just ask that you let me know in advance  so that if you prefer I leave the apartment completely, I have enough time to ask someone I know to let me crash at their place for the night.”

He lead him to the kitchen and went to press his hand against the fridge, leaning slightly toward it. “Food wise, there are different options available depending on whether you like to cook or not. I can let half the fridge free for you and half the freezer space and you buy your own food and make your own meals, or we could always make our life simpler and save money by simply doing groceries together and alternating the days we cook.” He took a pause then, partly worried that he was talking too much which wouldn’t have been anything new if he had to be honest.

"Jongdae," he hears himself say that name and it feels so foreign and rough along the palate. Kyungsoo's not used to calling people by their names or at least calling a name he's not been with for a long period of time. But somewhere in him likes the feeling of having another name in a list that has been acquiring cobwebs since he came to Seoul - a list where he's not meant to tick off names after shooting heads. 

The idea of living in an apartment, and with someone, is too risky considering his position but Kyungsoo has been looking for that thrill and this petty risk could add so much salt to a bland life. So Kyungsoo continues: "I am not into parties. If you're throwing one, please inform me and I would be out of your way." Kyungsoo detests how he sounds so mechanical. "And," he tries to be casual, "As for the food, I cook so..." He doesn't understand why he feels suddenly so hot and his palms are suddenly clammy. He thinks he's flustered over something but he's not sure. "If you want hot meals, I would do that for you. And..." It's been five years since he last lost words to explain himself because usually he doesn't and usually he just acts without the talking. "I guess grocery shopping with someone wouldn't hurt." 

A normal life.