Jon “Catboy” Sims

(Dramatically wipes a tear) I have become a grandfather

Jonah Magnus is just so inspirational to me. 🥰

Truly one of my favourite historical figures

@the-tundra-cptn Do you want to be my other emergency contact.

spent an hour lighting candles in the chapel and then a cloaked figure walked in in the middle of service andthey all mysteriously blew out.

listen, there are a lot of negative stereotypes about orkneys—everyone wants to shit on orkneys when they attack someone but no one ever talks about their good qualities. the problem is that people will adopt an orkney without knowing what they’re getting, and then blame their knight for following his instincts. i can’t tell you how disappointing it is to see orkneys running wild and unvaccinated to the point where they’re committing war crimes and ambushing other knights, all because an uninformed owner didn’t bother to do their research and doesn’t know how to handle an orkney’s high energy level and territorial behavior. orkneys are hardy knights who were historically bred for their strength and fighting ability, and they’re most in their element guarding their household or hunting people for sport. i’ve owned many orkneys over the years and they can be loyal and affectionate creatures, but you have to work with their temperament, not against it. i recommend looking into obedience training when they’re still a page, and using treats as positive reinforcement for good behavior—living with an orkney is not without its challenges, but they can be wonderful knights for an experienced owner

Is now the time to admit I named myself after Jonathan Harker?

It's a good name regardless. Suits you very well.

Aww thank you :)

i always convince myself i dont sound that weird and then i go out in the world and get involved in anything longer than transactional small talk and its like ohhh thats right ive only been hanging out with gay people who speak in riddles

Batting my lashes so sweetly at Doctor Fanshawe while I do my shot.

I've really not been utilising my full seduction potential.

(trying to flirt) I could be your wikipedia boyfriend

We have to abolish problems where the solution is stupid and counterintuitive.