enough about the scourge of morning people. let’s talk about how fast eaters are an oppressive class

we sat down with our food ten minutes ago. what do you mean you’re already done and ready to get up and go do the next thing?? so now my options are a) pretend I’m done too when really I haven’t even touched my fries yet or b) guiltily try to scarf the rest of this down, not enjoying it at all, while you sit there and stare at me? god forbid I wanted to savor it, or to pause and actually contribute something to the conversation without being rude or choking. if I’m not devoting every bit of mouth bandwidth to inhaling this meal in thirty seconds like a leafblower in reverse you’ll have moved on to tomorrow’s breakfast before I’m done. and yet I’m the problem here??

Yahhh I have to build Rome. Yup it’s due tomorrow.. noo I haven’t started yet haha is that bad?

Genuinely evil and dark-sided to put the periods between the letters in "milf" and "dilf." Like what is M.I.L.F. that is a supervillain organization composed entirely of cougars. Whoa that's a great idea actually post canceled hold on

can we just skip to the part where I’m about to marry the love of my life and I’m financially stable and happy & all this shit is behind me already

Actually one of my favourire scenes because.. same dude... same.

I really can and will blame the 9-5 for everything. "We're in a loneliness epidemic" well, we have to spend a third of our day interacting with people in a professional way that makes forming real friendships difficult and then we're peopled out by the time we're done. "People are eating more and more unhealthily" people have to spend more than a third of their day doing work related tasks and they don't want to spend their tiny amount of free time making food. "People aren't involved in their local communities" after spending more than a third of their day doing work related things people are tired and also all those community events take place during normal working hours. "People need to get more hobbies" after spending more than a third of their day working, people are TIRED and don't want to do anything that takes yet more energy. "Literacy is dying" to maintain your critical thinking skills you need to read/watch things that make you think and after spending more than a third of your day doing work related stuff you are TIRED and don't want to expend even more brainnpower. "People need to get outside more" People. Are. TIRED. Because they have to spend all of their time working or preparing for work or recovering from work or doing all the chores they couldn't stay on top of because of work. I can blame fucking anything on having to work, it is truly the root of all fucking evil.

NO MORE SONGS UNDER 3 MINUTES. GO BACK INTO THE STUDIO

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

the more you twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid regret the harder it will hit when it eventually catches up to you.