my mother left a god-sized yearning in me and my father left a god-shaped hole in me and now all I've got is this human-sized heart.
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@nomorechoirs
my mother left a god-sized yearning in me and my father left a god-shaped hole in me and now all I've got is this human-sized heart.

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You had me spinning in the midnight summer grass.
âLetâs escape the shalt and shalt not. Letâs dissolve the tension for just one minute. If you want, find a boy with a beautiful mouth to kiss you, pull flowers from the ground and weave them into a crown, escape to the shadows of the woods, forget yourself with someone else, pine needles in your hair, twigs pressed into the meat of your back, dirt against your heels as you thrash, under the trees with the animals, under the stars with the trees. Everything is swelling, blooming, glowing, all about to burst, fertile, verdant, ready, wet.â â Nina MacLaughlin
âI almost wish we were butterflies and livâd but three summer days â three such days with you I could fill with more delight than fifty common years could ever contain.â â John Keats
âSummer was another country, where the birds/ Woke us at dawn among the dripping leaves/ And lent to all our fĂŞtes their sweet approval. The touch of air on flesh was lighter, keener,/ The senses flourished like a laden tree/ Whose every gesture finishes in a flower. In those unwardened provinces we dined/ From wicker baskets by a green canal,/ Staining our lips with peach and nectarine,/ Slapping at golden wasps. And when we kissed,/ Tasting that sunlit juice, the landscape folded Into our clasp, and not a breath recalled/ The long walk back to winter, leagues away.â â Adrienne Rich
â â1965âł, Zella DayÂ
âCool summer nights. Windows open. Lamps burning. Fruit in the bowl. And your head on my shoulder. These the happiest moments in the day. Next to the early morning hours, of course. And the time just before lunch. And the afternoon, and early evening hours. But I do love These summer nights. Even more, I think, than those other times. The work finished for the day. And no one who can reach us now. Or ever.â â Raymond Carver
âHush, beloved. It doesnât matter to me how many summers I live to return: this one summer we have entered eternity.â â Louise Gluck
âSuppose I say summer, write the word âhummingbird,â put it in an envelope, take it down the hill to the box. When you open my letter you will recall those days and how much, just how much, I love you.â â Raymond Carver
âItâs not enough to say the heart wants what it wants. I think of the ravine, the side dark with pines where we lounged through summer days, waiting for something to happen; and of the nights, walking the long way home, the stars so close they seemed to crown us. Once, I asked for your favourite feeling. You said hunger.â â Mary Szybist
âThat summer I told you no instead of almost. I should have said very very close.â â Amber McMillan
âIn the summer I stretch out on the shore/ And think of you/ Had I told the sea/ What I felt for you,/ It would have left its shores,/ Its shells,/ Its fish,/ And followed me.â â Nizar Qabbani trans. B. Frangieh And C. Brown
âI rush toward you in the summer twilight, not in the real world, but in the buried one where you are waiting.â â Louise Gluck
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The sun's almost too bright, I cannot get it right.
âMy spring melancholy is developing in these hot days into summer madness.â â Virginia Woolf
âThe advent of summer makes me sad. It seems that summerâs luminosity, though harsh, should comfort those who donât know who they are, but it doesnât comfort me. Thereâs too sharp a contrast between the teeming life outside me and the forever unburied corpse of my sensations â what I feel and think, without knowing how to feel or think.â â Fernando Pessoa trans. Richard Zenith
â âItâs a Shameâ, First Aid KitÂ
âAnother kind of hurt lodged where happiness had smouldered, another kind of ruin, and summer came.â â Marie Howe
âHere the summer comes out of control burning everything.â â Â Nelo Risi trans. Miller Williams
âSummer. These days are no longer mine but the heart is an open shell.â â Ioanna Tsatsou trans. Jean Demos
âHeavy with summer, I am the doe whose one hoof cocks like a question ready to open roots. & like any god-forsaken thing, I want nothing more than my breaths.â â Ocean Vuong
âNever the cries of the gulls, only, in summer, the crickets, cicadas. Only the smell of the field, when all she wanted was the smell of the sea, of disappearance.â â Louise Gluck
âItâs summer. Sheâs tired. No one knows where sheâs been.â â Dorianne Laux
âSummer has been consuming my energy in the most ruthless way.â â Virginia Woolf
âI hate how summer kills me when it appears even briefly.â â Arthur Rimbaud trans. Wyatt Mason
âA child playing â a summer evening â doors will open and shut, will keep opening and shutting, through which I see sights that make me weep. For they cannot be imparted. Hence our loneliness; hence our desolation. I turn to that spot in my mind and find it empty. My own infirmities oppress me.â â Virginia Woolf
âI wait every year for summer, and it is usually good, but it is never as good as that summer I am always waiting for.â â Martha Gellhorn
âI have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again.â â Georgia OâKeeffe
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Weâll dream of a longer summer.
âMy nerves long for the sun, summer, and freedom.â â Hermann Hesse trans. Mark Harman
âSpring was giving way to summer and people getting off work were shedding their jackets, folding them over their forearms to carry. A familiar itch was creeping in. That aching toward something wildâwhen the days get longer and a walk through the city becomes entirely pleasant from morning to night, when you want to run drunk down an empty street in sneakers and fling all responsibility to the wayside.â â Michelle Zauner
âWell now itâs summer I thought, so let me do something new.â â Sujata Bhatt
âI wasted my summer in destructive restlessness, trying to find a way to be comfortable in my life and my skin. Very stupid. I hope youâll avoid that. Go out. Get some proper hold of your moods. Relax.â â Martha Gellhorn
âEarly summer, idle images. No wind, no wound, the world unpetaled and opened to anyoneâs tongue.â â Charles Wright
âAnd it grows, the vain summer, even for us with our bright green sins.â â Carlo Betocchi trans. Geoffrey Brock
âAnd so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.â â F. Scott Fitzgerald
âBut â that one summer of bliss. In that kitchen. I was not afraid of burns or scars; I didnât suffer from sleepless nights. Every day I thrilled with pleasure at the challenges tomorrow would bring. Memorizing the recipe, I would make carrot cakes that included a bit of my soul. At the supermarket I would stare at a bright red tomato, loving it for dear life. Having known such joy, there was no going back.â â Banana Yoshimoto
âIt was the summer she threw herself onto her mattress and looked up at the print of Monetâs water lilies hanging above, and broke through the wall to float in the warm water of the paint. She could breathe inside it and thought of Ophelia who never really seemed dead. They were not dead in the water. She was not suffocating with a mouth painted shut painted into a square of blue hung on the wall of a teenage girl.â â Ely Shipley
âThis summer Iâll cut my hair off. This summer Iâll be Jeanne D'Arc. Iâll write the script, Iâll play her life. Iâll burn for what I believe.â â Carole Maso
âIt is summer and I am in the middle of my life. Alone and happy.â â Linda Gregg
âIf it could only be like this always â always summer, always alone, the fruit always ripe.â â Evelyn Waugh
âI began to talk. I talked about summer, and about time. The pleasures of eating, the terrors of the night. About this cup we call a life. About happiness. And how good it feels, the heat of the sun between the shoulder blades.â â Mary Oliver
âI could sense the persistent violence with which the closed earth was opening up inside as it prepared to give birth, and knew with what burden of sweetness the summer would ripen a hundred thousand oranges, and I knew that those oranges were mine, simply because I wanted it so.â â Clarice Lispector trans. Giovanni Pontiero
â âVernal Equinox Navelsâ, Carolyn Lord
âRemember the days of our first happiness, how strong we were, how dazed by passion, lying all day, then all night in the narrow bed, sleeping there, eating there too: it was summer, it seemed everything had ripened at once.â â Louise Gluck
â âStay Goldâ, First Aid Kit
âDeep within everyoneâs heart there always remains a sense of longing for that hour, that summer, that one brief moment of blossoming.â â Irene Nemirovsky trans. Sandra Smith
âThat summer we sat with our backs to the street, letting time passâ lying all afternoon in the grass as if green and insect were the world. I am, I am, and you are, you are, we wrote, until the paper seemed a tree again and we walked beneath it greener and unsullied afresh.â â Deborah Landau
âIn summer the song sings itself.â â William Carlos Williams
âI walk without flinching through the burning cathedral of the summer. My bank of wild grass is majestic and full of music.â â Violette Leduc
âThe summer is in me like a readiness for flight, / And I search among the signs / For the flare, polestar, pulley towards the edge.â â Muriel Rukeyser
âThe summer dress rustles against the flesh of my thighs, the grass grows underfoot, at the edges of my eyes there are movements, in the branches; feathers, flittings, grace notes, tree into bird, metamorphosis run wild. Goddesses are possible now and the air suffuses with desire.â â Margaret Atwood
â âWoman with a Parasolâ, Claude Monet
âTwilight, then early evening. Fireflies in the room, flickering here and there, here and there, and summerâs deep sweetness filling the open window.â â Louise Gluck
âDark summer grass. Lightning bugs in their slow flashing. The night above you was more in you than your breath, the stars always shifting in your chest.â â Joanna Klink
âSummer night â even the stars are whispering to each other.â â Kobayashi Issa trans. Robert Hass
âThis summer night deep down under the stars was all the things you would ever feel or see or hear in your life, drowning you all at once.â â Ray Bradbury
ââOne moment longer,â whispered solitude and the summer moon, âstay with us: all is truly quiet now; for another quarter of an hour your presence will not be missed: the dayâs heat and bustle have tired you; enjoy these precious minutes.ââ â Charlotte Bronte
âSometimes in later summer I wonât touch anything, not the flowers, not the blackberries brimming in the thickets; I wonât drink from the pond; I wonât name the birds of the trees; I wonât whisper my own name. One morning, the fox came down the hill, glittering and confident, and didnât see me â and I thought: so this is the world. Iâm not in it. It is beautiful.â â Mary Oliver
âAnd it was so good this summer/ To become unaccustomed to my name/ In that almost vineyard silence/ And that reality imitating dream.â â Anna Akhmatova trans. Judith Hemschemeyer
âAnd it was here, one summer day, I sat down to read an old book. When I looked up from the noon-lit page, I saw a vision of a world about to come, and a world about to go.â â Li-Young Lee
âI write to make you suffer, to dance life before you. Do you see how summer holds me?â â Anne-Marie Kegels trans. Keith Waldrop
âIt is summer. The singing grows urgent. Twice a week, sometimes more, I am called from sleep to walk in the night and think of death.â â Mary Oliver
âSome mornings in summer I step outside and the sky opens and pours itself into me as if I were a saint about to die.â â Lisel Mueller
âI want to stay awake for the next three days and nights, drawing the threads of my summer cocoon neatly about me and snipping all the loose ends: to savor until the dying of the last wave, the last dawn, this place, the leaving of which means leaving a great space of livingâŚand aging, aging.â â Sylvia Plath
âWeâll dream of a longer summer but this is the one we have: I lay my sunburnt hand on your table: this is the time we have.â â Adrienne Rich
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oh, you know, just your average adoration interaction of weeping in front of the presence of the Real Body of My Beloved, feeling the calm and peace of the Holy Spirit wash over me, having a sudden coughing fit, stumbling past the other solitary prayers in their pews to exit the chapel and immediately vomit into the nearest trash can, wondering why did G*d the Father just do that to me when we were having a nice moment, once again feeling the peace of the Holy Spirit envelop me as I accept the fact that I am actually retching acid bile on my knees (again!) in public, stumble back into the chapel, light a candle, and then drive home at 2am.

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âSummer Solsticeâ by Alex DimitrovÂ
I donât get it , is God like our father or is he a lover ??
yes
Antonia White, Frost in May (1933)
fr. âHeaven on Earthâ by Mary Ruefle
fr. âThe Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plathâ

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âGod was in the sunlight Toying with the knife.â
â Pleasure Dome: New and Collected Poems; âNude Tangoâ by Yusef Komunyakaa (via decreation)
âIsaac asked, Father, whatever did I do to you that would make you want to kill me, your only son, You did nothing wrong, isaac, So why did you want to cut my throat as if I were a lamb, asked the boy, if that man, may the lordâs blessings be upon him, hadnât come and grabbed your arm, you would now be carrying home a corpse,â
â JosĂŠ Saramago, Cain (via bluebeardsbride)
francisco de goya, saturn devouring his son (1819-1823) georges bataille, visions of excess: selected writings (1927-1939) michelangelo merisi da caravaggio, sacrifice of isaac (1598) mirel wagner, dreamt of a wave (2014)
JosĂŠ Saramago, Cain (tr. Margaret Jull Costa)
fr. âAubade with Attention to Pathosâ by Emily Skaja

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fr. âAnne Sextonâs Last Letter to Godâ by Tracey Herd
fr. âA List of Watersâ by Bryce Emley