my mother left a god-sized yearning in me and my father left a god-shaped hole in me and now all I've got is this human-sized heart.

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@nomorechoirs
my mother left a god-sized yearning in me and my father left a god-shaped hole in me and now all I've got is this human-sized heart.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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wow I feel so well rested and my mind is clear and- *mother gathers palmfuls of salt and pours the grains into the wound in my chest like clockwork* - wow I almost forgot that a sword has pierced through my ψυχὴν and sea-struck griefs last for an eternity!
the apostle that fits you—
—if you're bold, if you're uncertain though. if you're needy. peter
—if you're overlooked, if you're fishing for things. if you're in the garden in the night. andrew
—if you're zealous. if you're committed, committing. james greater
—if you're only a kid. if you're lost to love. if your cheeks run with tears. john the beloved
—if you're in carthage. if you're collecting things, collecting others. if you're only into the meaningful. philip
—if you're flirting below fig trees. if you like to not be right. nathanael
—if you're counting, counting, counting. matthew
—if your questions feel bigger, girthier, leakier, than the rest of you. if you never touch, through touch only. thomas
—if you're curious. if you're lost in things. lost to others. thadd
—if you're nationalistic, revolutionist. brash. lost to others, too. simon the zealout
—if you're in love. if there's conflict in the love. if you know the color of your loneliness. judas
—if you're neglecting the fishing. if you're rich in heart. if your big, moony eyes leak on lilac flushed cheeks. miriam of magdala
—if you're neglecting yourself, but you remain in the cross's cross nonetheless. miriam of clopas
—if there's myrhh on your fingers. if you like it like that. joanna
—if you're mothering, rearing, nursing, loving. if you're known through your relations. salome
—you're not her. no one is her. miriam of nazareth
—if you're not on the list but you feel it's right to be. paul of tarsus
"I could've sworn I saw fireworks from your house last night."
“Dependence Day” by John Daniel

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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fr. “Unmarked” by Tim Seibles
“Fourth of July” by Keetje Kuipers
questions for learning more about your new lover:
—favorite color
—is god cruel
—when is the last time the hole in your chest oozed
—what is the color of your loneliness
—how vulnerable are you to babylonian necromancy
—can i cut you
—why is god cruel
—can you get on your knees quickly
—is god's breath on your neck girthy or leaky
“Dependence Day” by John Daniel
fr. “Unmarked” by Tim Seibles

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“Fourth of July” by Keetje Kuipers
fr. “Everything Changed When I Forgave Myself” by Charlotte Eriksson
fr. “Let July be July” by Morgan Harper Nichols
“July” by Brett Elizabeth Jenkins
for you what does it mean to be fearfully and holy made
god's touch on my clay remains warm

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I feel so bad when I relapse into bashing my head, not so much in the act itself but because I promised mama mary I would stop (many years ago, after I finished grad school) and I really am doing it so much less, sometimes I can go weeks, even months, before doing so again, but inevitably my mother says something that lacerates so deep that the only way I can make my brain stop repeating whatever she’s said on loop and wrenching the wound wider is to pound my fist against my skull or slap my temple until my ears are ringing more than they already do and I get dizzy enough that I feel some semblance of control returning. And then I remember I’m not supposed to do that and mama mary is probably disappointed in me and I’m :(
fr. “Let July be July” by Morgan Harper Nichols