Prince Charming throwing himself out a window because he was told not to go down the stairs is Bruce Wayne core

Janaina Medeiros

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ellievsbear

Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Jules of Nature
Sweet Seals For You, Always
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
almost home
styofa doing anything
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Product Placement

if i look back, i am lost
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i don't do bad sauce passes

#extradirty
Stranger Things

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@archeronlochan
Prince Charming throwing himself out a window because he was told not to go down the stairs is Bruce Wayne core

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A collection of SuperBat fics that live in my head rent-free
for @gothbusterzs 🦇
!! NONE OF THESE ARE MINE !!
Dick: look dami, think of tim like... remember how a few months ago you rescued this injured opossum? try to think of tim like that opossum
Damian: you mean the one that we found in the garbage bin that had rabies, was malnourished and had to get his left hind leg amputated?
Jason: and was fucking ugly and stank
Dick: shut up jason yes! it was super cute, remember?
Damian: if you're trying to use my weakness for small abandoned ungainly animals against me—which is not a weakness—then you're wrong, for nothing about drake even remotely resembles a—
Tim: (digging through the kitchen's trash) has anyone seen my leftover muffins? they were only 2 weeks old, they were perfectly fine
Damian: stares at him in silence
Damian: starts to very subtly tear up
Jason: wheezes
Batfam as conversations I’ve had recently (part 6)
Izzy(talking about a stuffed animal): he’s so fucking stupid I love him
Duke: you about me
Izzy: huh
Duke: I’m fucking stupid and you love me
Izzy: I do <3
Tim/steph(hiding in the bushes in shitty disguises): awww 
_______
Tim(texting the group chat at 00:00): morning gang
Steph: morning bro
Duke: mornmin
Damian: did you try and write Mormon or morning?
Duke: mornmin
_______
Batman: Dark Patterns #11 - "The Child of Fire II" (2025)
written by Dan Watters art by Hayden Sherman & Triona Farrell

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I really do love that Batman is supposed to be this super strict and tough badass who has his rules and doesn’t budge on them for shit; to the point where unless they get express permission, the metas that literally make up his superhero team and closest companions aren’t even allowed to step foot in his city.
and then his kids come along and his entire backbone just falls apart at the seams.
Tim, walking into the cave and interrupting an online JL meeting: sorry just grabbing the bleach!
Bruce, pausing: what do you need bleach for?
Tim: oh, Jason killed another guy and wants help with the cleanup.
Bruce:
The JL, who know Batman as the strict ‘no kill guy’:
Bruce:
Bruce: …but just one? he only killed one, right?
Tim: yeah.
Bruce:
Bruce: bleach is over there
JL: ?!?!?!
-
Superman, video calling Bruce: i know you don’t allow metas in Gotham, but there’s a crossover between a job i’m on in Metropalis and a deal i believe to be going down in Gotham, so i was hoping that-
Bruce: no. send me the case, i’ll sort it. stay out of my city.
Superman: Bruce-
Duke appearing in the background of the call: B! COME LOOK AT THIS SHIT, I FIGURED OUT A NEW WAY TO USE MY POWERS!
Bruce: that’s great, chum! I’ll be right there!
Superman:
-
Batman: I will not have guns in my household.
Damian: you understand that both Pennyworth and Drake have firearms in the manor, correct?
Batman:
The JLA:
Batman: when did Tim get a gun?
Damian: when Todd took him and I to a shooting range and gifted us them.
Batman:
Batman: …you have a gun too?
Damian: i do.
Batman: but not in the manor right?
Damian: of course not.
Batman: oh thank g-
Damian, pulling out a handgun: i keep mine on me
Batman: oh my god-
I need a good dick grayson edit to mirrorball because that song has that boy written all over it
You know what I eat up?
Wayne family mafia AU’s
I need Dick to be completely delusional about Tim and consider him to be his nicest, most helpful, and most well-behaved sibling.
_____
Tim: I have never done anything wrong, ever, in my life.
Dick: I know this and I love you 🥰
Jason: ...Dick, are you fucking HIGH???
_____
Dick: You should consider trying to be more like Tim! He's always such a well-behaved angel ❤️
Tim: Thank you, Dick 😇
Damian:
________
Dick: Tim is very kind and always so polite! He would never be mean to someone on purpose! ❤️
Bruce, who is bullied by Tim an average of 4.5 times a day:
______
Dick: Tim is an absolute sweetheart!
Cass: ... I do not think that word means what you think it does.
_____
Duke, staring at a warehouse that he and Tim just 'accidentally' blew up: ... So how mad do you think Dick is going to be at us?
Tim: Don't worry, I got this.
Dick, landing next to them: Holy explosion, Red Robin! What happened here?!?
Tim: I don't know 😔. It was like this when we got here 🥺.
Duke, whispering: There is no way he's going to believe tha-
Dick: Oh no! Well, I'm just glad you two are safe!
Duke: ... Tim, I need you to teach me your ways.
Dick: hm? Did you say something, Duke?
________
Dick: I don't get it! Why does everyone think Tim is some kind of crazed feral gremlin?!?
Alfred: I believe that is because they have in fact met Master Tim.
Dick: What was that? 🙃
Alfred: ... 😮💨 Truly it is a mystery for the ages.
dick grayson in fanon: sweet silly older brother, pretty but stupid, favourite child, happy robin, basically batman 2.0 but a nice person, his brothers are more skilled and could outpace him but they love him anyways, goody-two-shoes, good relationship with batman, responsible eldest child, mentally stable and supportive
dick grayson in canon:
became robin so he wouldnt commit first degree murder
like all of his appearances young justice season 1 are about how hes a maniac and a genius
leader and strategist of the teen titans
actually Murdered the joker
considered an equal by the worlds most dangerous and deadly mercenary
was literally fired by batman and only really continued working w him because of jason and babs
managed to keep up with angsty new-to-the-job batman
has had so many arguments with bruce its a miracle he hasnt cut him off forever (hes tried though)
can take down the entire teen titans if he wanted despite being the only one of them with no superpowers/abilities
was the definition of angsty teenager
inherits his insane paranoia from bruce
a thread away from breaking the no-kill rule, give him a rest
hes literally feral guys i mean cmon
He's the smartest dumbass I've ever seen

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Welcome to the Night Court:
That’s Rhys, he breaks people’s minds apart and killed 2 dozen kids one time
That’s Cassian, he’s a war lord who destroys major infrastructure
That’s Azriel, he has a torture dungeon where he tortures people with his favorite knife
That’s Feyre, she once toppled the government and economy of an entire territory because one guy was a dick to her
Oh and that’s Nesta, she’s kind of a bitch sometimes and had a hoe phase.
“Oh, those … those don’t sound like equal flaws?”
“I know right. Nesta is so much worse.”
"erm actually Batman didn't teach any of his Robins how to handle a gun—" absolutely NOT. In Alfred Pennyworth's household? Don't make me laugh. Every single one of those kids have perfect trigger discipline.
rip Stephanie Brown you would have loved Chappell Roan
It's funny how easy it is to push Dick away as a happy-go-lucky sunshine and rainbows and unicorns man when he's really the angriest member of the whole Batfam.
Like, it took Jason 15 years and a reasonable cause.
Dickie was ready to murder a bitch at 8.
This boy arrived at the manor with nothing but a simple suitcase, a toy elephant, sass, and 500 pounds of spiteful anger.
And the only thing that's changed now is the suitcase.
@sardonic-sprite
I just know Stephanie Brown is out there somewhere singing “ooh fancy pants rich mcgee over here” to Tim Drake

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I love how Duke is equally as chaotic as the rest of the batfam he just doesn’t bring attention to it so it goes under the radar.
Like this kid jumped out of a cop car, off a bridge, and survived!
He joined and became one of the leaders of the We Are Robin gangs!
He kicked Hal Jordan in the face without questioning him.
Duke is so Chaotic and he’s great.
~ Batman (2016)
I can't take seriously the "Nobody dies, not after Tim" after his brothers said they all died and came back. He will be back, it's the family tradition at this point, relax. Duke, you're next. See it as a vacation. Also, they joke so much about dying, having died and killing each others for people who died, you know their father is not finding it funny.
Another moment that demonstrates that the missions ISN'T more important than his family and loved ones for Bruce. It's more important to have them all alive and safe than to protect Gotham.
"Ignoring Batman's pretty much the definition of being a Robin." And you think Bruce would learn...
Bruce is in a suicidal era again (it's explicitly told to the reader in this story and the one before), so he thinks he will die against Bane (I'm surprised he survives. He should be dead. The man isn't human) His boys, however, have total faith in their abilities as a family. The contrast in this scene between the warmth playfulness of the boys vs the cold seriousness of Bruce makes him look like an asshole, but he isn't one. He's a dead man walking and he knows it, not them. (Also, he thinks that saving Gotham Girl will provide Gotham with a hero better than him, and will protect his boys from dying again)
Damian commenting on Jason's hairline and Jason being worried he is losing hair is gold. I love it when they are just a silly family that fight crimes. ("Dick, look at my hair. It's fine, right? I'm killing you now, Damian. This is happening." "Many have tried. Many with much more hair." XD)