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I walk through the bright glance of people in love, who, looking briefly away from the lover across from them in order to more perfectly form a sentence, unwittingly cast their gaze across my path like a light. And so, momentarily, to have accidentally caught their desire, swimming across the current of it like that, passing through, I feel loved, in a warm and random way, wandering through it, as if it were a rainbow, that old trick of light.
Lorrie Moore, Who Will Run Frog Hospital? (via femmefatale-rps)
seen daily in: long, flowing skirts that graze the ankle, high-waisted mom jeans and plain cotton tee’s, short sleeve button-downs and smocked, puffy-sleeve blouses, a fuzzy cardigan just in case there’s a chill, blonde hair tied up in a scrunchie, or swept under a shiny silk kerchief, or braided down her back and finished with a loose ribbon, with an overflowing tote bag hoisted over one shoulder (sometimes a wicker purse, just because it’s cute), and of course, a trusty, comfortable pair of white sneakers.
Armed with a black trash bag and a litter-pick, her blonde hair tied up in a kerchief that was both fashionable (shiny, pale-green silk patterned with little blue flowers) and functional (only a few flyaways had escaped, sticking sweatily to her forehead like a chic hairstyle from the 1930s), April had spent the last hour since breakfast at Knocking Lake. Today, she was the lone representative of Radcliffe’s Green Initiative Club. A few others had made promises, put their names on the sign-up sheet, but many of them had also posted from the same frat party last night— which meant they were all probably still in bed, nursing their respective hangovers. So it was just April, dutiful April, spearing litter from the mud and shooing beer cans out from under foliage. It was amazing how much trash there was in the world once you really looked— gum wrappers and bottle caps, styrofoam cups and cigarettes. So many cigarettes! She’d thought that people were supposed to be smoking less nowadays. Or at least, switching over to E-cigs and mango-flavored vapes. But the evidence of Radcliffe’s unkicked habit was quite literally all around her: butts thrown in the grass, butts bobbing in the shallows.
Up and down the banks she went all morning, her Green Initiative shirt dampening under the arms, pulling junk out of the weeds and stopping only once for a break. In spite of the trash and the sun’s unseasonal heat, in spite of the pesky gnats that millioned near the water, her mood was good. Happy, even. She felt uplifted by the work; doing it reminded her that there were still people like her, and like the other, absent but already-forgiven members of the Green Initiative, who cared. Surely that meant the world would be okay. April bent down and pushed aside some reeds by the water’s edge. That was when she saw it, floating like a dying dentist-office fish— a used condom. Her horror was swift and immediate. She stumbled back. The reeds whipped from her grasp and the resulting splash sent the condom gliding out towards open water, carried by a length of ripples. “Oh no, come back!” She couldn’t let some poor bird find it, mistake it for a worm— the thought alone made her stomach do a queasy somersault. April leapt quickly onto a flat rock, jabbing at the water with her pick and missing wildly. “Shoot!” Pivoting on the toes of her sneakers, trying to spot the fugitive bit of latex, only then did she notice someone had stopped to watch her frantic spearfishing. Both exertion and embarrassment stained her cheeks a bright pink. “Sorry, I just, I can’t let it get away— do you see it anywhere?”
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Basement of the party rattling upstairs empty save for Mercy himself, it was probably an odd sight, seeing him sat cross-legged on the coffee table with a giant plate of cupcakes to his right, considering it’d been a while since he was on campus. Already, there were some stuck on the icing side to the wall across from him, some fallen forgotten on the ground. Upon hearing someone coming down the stairs, he paused mid chew to stare at them, literally caught with his hand in a cookie jar, “What?” he asked, tone defensive, “Think they were for someone’s birthday. Got kinda bored - target practice, y’know?” Gesturing towards the wall where some still stuck, he was rearing his arm back in the next second, tossing the second half of his uneaten cupcake at his counterpart, if not just to see what would happen.
Standing against a wall, she felt like a fixed point as the party moved around her. Siobhan had been by her side for a while, evaporated a little later— April knew better than to rely on her roommate being her only friend in a crowded room, but somehow, it always seemed to come down to that. Now she stood alone and sipped from her designated Solo cup of coke and Bacardi, not quite enjoying the masked taste of rum beneath the syrupy-sweetness of cola, but not resenting it either; mostly, it kept her from looking like a lost little kid waiting to be retrieved from the mall security desk. She had tried, a few times, to do the brave thing. Insert herself. Both hands gripping the cup, she’d walked up to one group where she recognized some people— here was Eddie from her freshman Linguistics class, and Tabitha from Photography Club— and smiled prettily, a flush already stealing into her cheeks, glancing around as they debated some episode of TV which had no relevance to her. She’d managed to blurt something embarrassing into the conversation, some inane bit of trivia about one of the actors, which had earned her a questioning, sideways look from Tabitha, and nothing at all from anybody else. The conversation moved on. Shortly afterwards— finding it difficult to keeping looking so fascinated by the inside of her drink— April had drifted away again. Now she was orbiting the edges of the party like a stray satellite, knowing that if this room were the universe, it’d let her go largely unnoticed. By eleven, she was beginning to cast glances towards to the door, ready to drift on somewhere else less crowded, perhaps less lonely, when she remembered the plate she’d brought. It was one of her good ones; a big fancy dish with a scalloped edge. The cupcakes, she thought, eyeing the stairs to the basement, then letting her feet take her in that direction. Maybe seeing how much the plate had emptied would lift her spirits.
But instead, she was met with heartbreak. Massacred buttercream. So many innocent victims, smashed against the wall, fallen to the floor. Whatever spirits she still had left were taken and broken quickly, like a stick over the knee. “Oh...” Her eyes had grown huge, looking around at the floor, and when she lifted them, she saw the arm reared back in an overhand pitch. Now there was very little separating April from a deer staring helplessly into oncoming traffic. “Oh, please don’t— “ With a small yip, she ducked, just in time for the cupcake to sail past her head and smack straight into the wall, sliding down to a similar fate as all the ones around her feet. “Oh my god!” She stood frozen in place for a second, gaze averted, hardly moving a muscle. A startled prey response. Then, when it seemed like no other cupcakes were about to become airborne, she braved another look upwards. “They were... they were for Courtney’s birthday!” she managed, eyes cartoonishly wide, perhaps with too much rum in her voice. The rum was quickly becoming a sting she felt when she blinked: the inevitable precursor to tears. “Why would you...” She heard her own pleading despair. “I’m sorry, if you didn’t— like them, just, please stop throwing them, and let me... clean this up.”
*toots on my kazoo* HALLO.... sloth here with another fun round of: lets see if i can handle a second character!! this intro is very long and very ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but idc! some people are really good at writing straightforward intros and i am not one of those people! it is what it is! if u’d like to plot with april, pls hit that like n i will scurry over posthaste 🏃♀️
『LAURIJN BIJNEN ❙ FEMALE』 ⟿ looks like APRIL BISHOP is here for SOPHOMORE year as a SOCIAL WORK student. SHE is 20 years old & known to be SWEET, KIND-HEARTED, SENSITIVE & INSECURE. They’re living in NOLAND, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ sloth. 25. est. she/her
(this is the only gif ur ever gonna see from me its not so good but i made it special for this occasion enjoy)
baby april was born and raised in the sunshine state of Florida ☀️ specifically somewhere in central florida, not far from the ocala forest, in a kind of surreal swampland-turned-suburbia where all the matchbox houses were painted in pastel shades but an occasional gator sometimes ended up in your backyard. she was the only child of a median income family, living in a squat pink-and-white bungalow... honestly kind of an idyllic place to be a child? not far from the beach, surrounded by the wild, overgrown swamp, with a small kidney-shaped pool (check for snakes first before getting in!!) and her mother’s prize-winning rose garden in the back (a vision I very much stole from Enlightened).... april was surrounded by so much beauty growing up that it definitely shaped her soft-hearted view of the world, her tendency to romanticize everything, and gave her a lifelong obsession with all things pretty, both natural and manmade...
as a child, she was very curious and a little eccentric; the kind of kid who would spend hours playing her own make-believe games, talking to bugs and birds and flowers, turning over rocks to inspect everything growing beneath them, constantly getting rashes from the undergrowth of the forest where she’d go exploring... and she went through phases like believing (or trying to get other people to believe) she was a mermaid, or telling people she could talk to animals by reading their minds and then carrying on an entire conversation with a dog to demonstrate, etc. adults were always like haha this one’s got a very active imagination! but secretly, they exchanged looks and thought, hm, this one’s kinda weird :|
i think in those days her escapist fantasies were very innocent, but it did feed into this emerging theme as she got closer to her teens, that there was a lot about herself that she would’ve changed if given the choice... nothing specific (yet), more just an unshaped feeling that something about her wasn’t... special enough? and maybe if she were a mermaid, or a dog-whisperer, that would be Special; maybe then people would look at her and see something Special. she once spent a whole week waking up and crying bc the wish she made the night before (that she’d wake up with blue eyes instead of green) didn’t come true. it wasn’t even that she liked blue eyes better than green ones; she’d just read something in a magazine at her mom’s hair salon which said that 47% of people surveyed picked blue eyes as their favorite, and that was enough.
[EMOTIONAL ABUSE TW] her parents are two veeeery different people. hard to even say how they got together and started a family, but somehow it happened! her father is an accountant; short in stature, mild-mannered, balding, definitely a bit on the boring side, but also the kind of human being that most people wouldn’t say a single bad word about. adored by his colleagues (and often walked all over because of his kindness, ain’t that just the way), always willing to help out a neighbor or a perfect stranger, always loving and supportive towards his daughter. her mother, a Juicy-tracksuit-and-earrings kind of woman, was, is.... something else entirely. she works as a hairdresser and on the outside, she’s just as pretty as the roses she meticulously grooms; on the inside, she’s as venomous as the water moccasins that ended up swimming in their pool. she’s hypercritical and very, very good at zeroing in on a person’s weaknesses— be it their appearance, their weight, their job, their failing relationship, even the well-hidden secret stuff, how they feel about themselves on the inside. she’ll find the most tender spot and that’s where she’ll press down, hard.
[BODYSHAMING / EATING DISORDER TW] “you better stop chasing after the ice cream truck, or soon you won’t be able to catch it.” her mother didn’t even look up from the coupons she was clipping as the truck’s quiet jingle drifted up their street. it wasn’t the first comment of its kind, certainly not the last. april was still in middle school, pre-growth spurt, pre-pubescent, her face still soft with baby fat, but nowhere close to what might be deemed an “unhealthy” weight even if her mother’s comment had come from a place of genuine concern. april crept back to her bedroom, two dollars hidden shamefully in her sweaty palm, and began to internalize. she became more aware of her mother’s eyes on her during mealtimes; she scraped half her dinner in the trash and told herself she was full even when she wasn’t. eventually, the hunger did go away. she was full after a few bites, and even those few bites felt like force-feeding. she skipped lunches at school, wore long, loose-fitting dresses that made other girls sneer and call her ‘amish’— not the first nickname she’d be given, certainly not the cruelest. her dad took notice pretty quick. with his quiet patience, he’d fix her snacks and cook small, extra meals throughout the day. and when those also went mostly uneaten, he’d take away the plate, put a hand on her head and say: okay, we’ll try again later. it went on like this for about a year before he took her to a doctor. a clear line was now drawn in the sand between them and her mother— who recognized when she was outnumbered and snapped only once about the cost, and that was it. with some outpatient treatment and her dad’s help, april regained weight by junior year, began to eat more regularly, punish herself less. but obviously, a lot of the damage caused by her ED would take much longer to undo; some of it, she’ll probably live with for the rest of her life.
[BULLYING TW] *hits the rewind on the VCR* remember when i said she was a weird kid? in school, she was definitely one of the Weird Kids. the mermaid roleplay and animal mind-reading didn’t help, but she was also very high-spirited and bubbly (read: annoying), very starved for friendship, and that combined with the push-over gene she’d inherited from her dad, made her.... a very easy target. the Mean Girls era of her life probably started earlier than high school, but that was the worst of it. Every year, there was some posse of popular, pretty girls who made her life a living hell; april was not at all equipped to defend herself against the sly, vicious warfare that teenage girls unleash upon each other. and honestly, did she even try? not really! she offered herself up, willingly! she went out of her way to be around them! those girls said jump and april said how high!! she let them treat her terribly, and still persisted in her hopes that one day they might like her and accept her. obviously there’s a missing piece to the puzzle here; she was Very Gay then, always has been, even if she didn’t fully understand it yet. that certainly played a role. but in a bigger way, her desperation for those mean girls’ approval was the same exact thing she was going through at home with her mom. just because the approval was being withheld didn’t mean it was unattainable— it just meant she had to work harder to get it. so work she did.
*hits 2x fast forward on the VCR* ok yikes in the interest in how long this is already getting..... lets catch up to the present w/ some much shorter bullets
With her high-end-of-average grades and long list of extracurriculars, she got into a few different universities and chose Radcliffe after asking her dad a million times for his opinion (god forbid April ever makes a decision on her own...). He thought it would be good for her to leave Florida and experience a change of scenery (and get some distance from her mother), start a whole new chapter, yada yada, and once April caught a whiff of adventurous, romantic possibility in this idea... she was all for it.
at Radcliffe, she’s been doing good!!! definitely a lot better than she was doing back home in a lot of ways.... her relationship with food is still iffy but she’s careful about it and has some good coping mechanisms in place. whenever she gets really stressed w/ school or any of her zillion clubs & committees, those are the times when she puts reminders in her phone about what she should be eating and when and sticks to the schedule. strong girl 💪
she only recently came out of the closet to herself & others, but now that she’s out, she’s Out! joined radcliffe’s chapter of the GSA this year and was recently elected as the Secretary— that’s Madame Secretary to you. She’s in a lot of clubs, everything from the Gardening Club to the Green Campus Initiative (this year’s mission: get everyone to stop using plastic straws) but the GSA is probably the one she’s become most passionate about. Joining was something she did to help herself gain more confidence, get more comfortable with herself, and after the positive impact it’s had on her own life, the close friends she’s made because of it, she’s dedicated to spreading the word. u WILL see her recruiting on the quad and she WILL chase u down with homemade muffins and a flyer inviting you to a meeting, so be warned.
has changed her major at least 4 times already. right now its social work, because the idealistic humanitarian in her would love to go out and do some good in the world, help people in need.... but really, in terms of her skills (or lack of them) april doesn’t actually know what she’d be good for in this field :/ how is she gonna deal with people in tough life circumstances when she cries at the sight of a crushed flower? deep down she’s never really pictured herself as having a Serious Career anyway; her dreams are mostly about having a family, being a wife and a good mother, finding fulfillment and happiness in those roles.... she’s got a very Nurturing spirit and a lot of love to give.... but for herself? she just doesn’t have any professional ambitions, and she’s not entirely sure if its kosher for a woman to admit that in this day and age.
has LOTS of hobbies and interests.... baking, photography, gardening, embroidery, community service.... but no... talents. she’s the first to say that about herself, that while she appreciates beautiful things and appreciates peoples’ abilities to make and create beauty in the world, she can only appreciate it secondhand. which is okay! talented people need an audience and she is more than happy to be that audience.
she still loves florida, misses it terribly, goes through bouts of homesickness especially during the long winters in Connecticut when she misses even the less-than-glamorous stuff: the sticky humidity, the specific brand of human weirdness which seems to flourish in Florida more than anywhere else, the gators and the snakes.... will sigh sadly over her glass of orange juice at breakfast bc her family has their own citrus trees which grow oranges and Meyer lemons. tropicana really just can’t compare :/
cries a lot. like, a lot. very much the human embodiment of how anime characters cry, with giant fountains of water gushing out of their eyes. but also its fairly meaningless, since she does it so much: she’ll tear up when she runs out of toothpaste just as easily as she’ll tear up when someone hurts her feelings. makes me think of that line from Plus One (i think?): “crying can be therapeutic” “not the way i do it!” sometimes its therapeutic and sometimes its just that her tear ducts are leaking and it can’t be helped ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
her childhood escapism, all those hours of pretend and make-believe, have now turned into.... a tendency to daydream, constantly. mostly her daydreams are directly, indirectly, about Love. to any couples who catch her staring wistfully across the quad or cafeteria in their direction (before quickly dropping her eyes to a book once she’s caught), I Am Sorry. she loves Love! would love to be Loved some time! will give away her love so freely and willingly it basically comes at a discount..... it’s like she’s standing on a street corner handing out her love like free roses and sometimes she watches them get thrown in the trash a little further down the street but thats okay! she has a lot to spare! here please take a rose!
i think the last important thing I have to say about april is that even though she’s already become a more confident, independent person over the last few years then she ever was at home.... she’s still very insecure. everything is still an audition, and april goes into almost every interaction expecting to be judged. she thinks if she doesn’t do the emotional equivalent of singing and tap-dancing her heart out across the stage, presenting the nicest, sweetest, happiest, most eager-to-please version of herself, then inevitably, she’ll be found lacking— and this is her ultimate fear. she wants so badly to be seen as someone who has worth and usefulness to others (she’s given up on being Special; it would be enough now to just be Useful), that she’ll do just about anything for even a smidgeon of approval. that desperation certainly comes across, perfuming the air around her like an unpleasant smell— people sometimes look at her with pity, but many of them still pinch their noses and turn away. what I’m saying is that yes, she’s annoying sometimes, and her energy can be overbearing, her eagerness a little too much. but it all comes from a scared place in her heart. which i’m hoping she’ll get better at recognizing as time goes on! but i guess we’ll see!
Ok time for some WC’s!!!!
ex-boyfriend - i have this idea that back when she was still subscribed to Comp Het Monthly, april probably had a boyfriend for a decent span of time.... & there’s a lot of ways that could have played out. mostly, the relationship would’ve consisted of her overcompensating for its complete lack of intimacy with a lot of baking. she was a one-woman baking machine! probably did everything she could to be a Good Girlfriend in other ways to make up for how much she cried and how even the slightest touch spooked her. nowadays, maybe they’re on great terms? now that april’s out and all that is behind them, there’s potential for a really cute friendship! or things r still a little weird and awkward and not entirely resolved..... cue the hamster wheel in april’s brain spinning into overdrive as she tries to figure out how to fix this.....
gal pals!!!!!!!! please.... i would love for april to have a small group of close friends who she’d very readily DIE for and who also watch out for her, put up with her neediness and unstable water sign energy in return for all the unconditional love and devotion she’ll gladly give them....i know its basic but: Skam girl gang, pretty much.
mean girls - ah fuck, here we go again. i don’t mean ‘mean girls’ in the sense that they’re actively mean to her (though nothing’s off the table, if you play someone who fits the bill!) but moreso just.... maybe they’re intimidating in some way, or aloof, or just harder to impress, and since this is april’s very specific method of self-flagellation, she will bend over backwards to try and earn some crumbs of approval from them, and probably make a fool of herself in the process!
GSA members - could be people she recruited to join the club! could be people she met when she joined the club last year! could be people who are on the fence or completely disinterested but april is very determined to get them to show up to at least one meeting or movie night!
friends from other clubs - april’s extracurricular involvements are many and numerous, so if ur character is in a club, there’s a very good chance april’s also in it or has been in it before (she’s switched some around since freshman year). right now in my head, I’m thinking she does Gardening, Photography, Bird-Watching, Community Service/Green Initiative and... maybe some kind of a book swap club that may be more of an informal thing, but still cute!
past hook-ups - i’ll be honest that hook-ups & fwbs are probably.... not very on brand for april, but i think she’s had a shy encounter or two in her history, and given that she certainly does not separate Love and Sex very well, that could easily lead to... complicated situations. depending on how casually the other person approaches it, could be inchresting! there may be some pining and yearning involved!
that’s really all my brain is putting on a plate for me rn...... typing this intro has aged me several years but obviously all other plot possibilities apply and i am more than happy to brainstorm something on the basis of specific muses! thank u for reading this behemoth. i promise it was not my intention to let it get this long ://
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I went looking for body
But they're giving me thin
I was hoping to sail though
But they're making me swim
I went looking for knives
And they're giving me blooms
I went looking for knives
And I was looking for you
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
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