Lowkey Iām so sorry if the unhinged lilikana yaps/asks are starting get old but I have another one, this one is a tad bit more lilien centered cause sheās underrated afš Consider this an official continuation of the first ask I ever sent you where I introduced my headcanon of them being temporarily codependent, (as well as a slight expansion of the mizisua parallels that I personally imagine for them.)
I kinda imagine Lilien possibly feeling a lot of guilt due to the way Lukana was able to partially loosen herself from the brainwashing, even if only slightly. Honestly I feel like its left a bit up to interpretation as to what exactly made Lukanaās brainwashing loosen up. Like we know it was a combination of shock at Sateriasisā apathy towards Lolanās death as well as Lilienās presence after thinking for months that she was ok with never seeing her again. The actual mental mechanics of the brainwashing being loosened are left vauge but I always thought it was because Lukana was characterized as being an extremely empathetic and caring person (might just be me but I donāt think her powers and magic potential had much to do with that since it didnāt really get much in the way of the Duke brainwashing her in the first place).
But yeah, I feel like Lilien felt horrible about this for a while because in HER mind, if Lukana was able to partially shake off the spell, then why couldnāt she as well? Why wasnāt reuniting with Lukana, after months of them being apart and Lilien being super worried, enough to make her partially shake off the spell as well? Granted, like mentioned earlier, a huge part of what made Lukana shake off the spell slightly was the shock of Venomania not caring about one of the women dying, especially because Lukana was the only one to see him express said apathy so blatantly and without shame. Thats the most logical explanation. But trauma doesnāt care about logic a lot of the time. Even if she technically understood the circumstances, emotionally, Lilien just becomes fixated on the fact that she was a contributing factor in Lukana becoming more lucid, and the reverse didnāt happen for her. Basically all of this combined made Lilien feel like perhaps she didnāt love Lukana as much as Lukana loved her (sorta paralleling alnst and how Miziās survivors guilt caused her to feel like maybe she wasnāt as desperate for Sua as much as Sua was for her, therefore letting her sacrifice herself.)
I also think Lukana felt very guilty in a somewhat similar way for giving her matching bracelet to Sateriasis, since the bracelets held much symbolic value about her relationship to Lilien, especially because theres no indication in the novel that she ever recovered it, which implies she lost it and it just stayed on Venomaniaās corpse. In general, I think they both have some immense guilt that is very common in SA survivors but their internal reasons are slightly different. The end of the novel says Lukana felt extremely guilty about not being able to gain back enough control to fully free herself and escape the duke, which to me read a lot like the guilt many victims experience in the form of āwhy didnāt I do anything to stop it?ā. And I imagine Lilien felt like perhaps her trauma wasnāt as valid because she didnāt endure it for as long (ofc just to clarify my views on this, every bit of self-invalidation, self blame and guilt they direct towards themselves about literally anything in this situation wasnāt actually their fault, and is the trauma speaking)
And I think this is partially what fueled Lilienās side of the unhealthy codependency I mentioned in the first ask, possibly acting very overprotective. I think to some extent they were both overprotective towards each other and very anxious without one another, but I think the circumstances definitely made Lilien especially overprotective, and this was definitely only made worst by the fact that at the peak of this period for them, Lukana was pregnant and IR was already starting to track them down to take Lukanaās body for herself.
(This turned out wayy longer than I wanted to, so sorry about that, but yeahā¦..š„²)
UWAGHH OH MY GOSH ACTUALLY THIS IS SO PEAK i adore this. Lilien is just so interesting as a character i think with how imperfect she is as a person, Lukana being there and being seemingly perfect and wonderful in her eyes HAS to have some sort of impact on her psyche like that, I totally agree. Honestly pains me how there's literally no fanfics about them ever because the points you always make about them are incredible and I'd love to see them play out in such a narrative
Honestly I've been thinking about this ask since yesterday but didnt have the time to respond because I've had exams for the past couple of days, but this is just so peak,,,,, DW I WONT EVER GET TIRED OF THE LILIKANA HEADCANONS AND THEORIES PLEASEEEE SEND MORE OVER WHENEVER YOU HAVE THE TIME!!!!