do i have to rule the world?

i hope you never

grow fond of

my absence.

may the space

i occupied

in your presence

never close.

i long

to be missed

so terribly,

you feel it

in your soul.

is it selfish

to want you to

the surface

of my skin

became

a convoluted map

to nowhere.

the gps

in my head

recalculated the directions

every time i went

to lay the concrete.

the visceral emotions

directed my shaking hands

and disturbed

my pattern of breathing.

does sorrow bleed?

do synapses listen

to reason?

objective splitting

spilling into

repugnant release.

bury me here -

in a sea of red,

for bleeding out

really don’t care

sobriety leaves me aquiver; thus, i continue my esoteric use. the highs are less elysian, objectionably pragmatic, ephemeral.

the cusp of collapse knocks invariably, warning of abuse, death.

“i try to capture the moments…the ones where i get smile.