Don’t You Know I’m From Here?

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

I should be doing more to appreciate the lack of marvel movies in today's popular culture. I once yearned for marvel movies to have this level of irrelevance. They used to feel almost ozymandian, like an empire that had no beginning and no end. and now tony stark iron man is naught but two vast and trunkless legs of stone.

the problem with musicians is how they're always touring their latest album instead of like their critically hated second album from 2009 which is the one i'm obsessed with

oh, of course. because he died for our sins.

My step cousin’s throuple wedding is coming up and her mom and half brothers aren’t going because they don’t approve which fucking sucks but also, aren’t they at least curious?

I think one of my strongest beliefs is that whether or not you approve of your child's choice of partner(s), you have to go to the wedding. There's just no coming back from that.

Unpopular opinion I support men in skinny jeans. You claim to love men dressing slutty and this man is showing you the whole form and curvature of his lady lumps ready to be peeled out like an unripe banana and you hate?? Fake fans all around me

#the reason that lab safety regulations are the way they are is because literally all chemists are like this #as in 100% of them #no exceptions (via @prokopetz)

My grandfather got the GI bill after the war and decided to become a chemist. He was a year into his degree when he spilled something on himself in the lab. The way he told it, he watched whatever it was start to dissolve the leather apron he was wearing, thought about what it might be doing to his lungs, and after calmly removing the apron, became an architect instead. I think chemists are Like That because the sane ones all self-selected out of the pool.

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them