eternal girlhood

write about a childhood memory that keeps coming back even though nothing particularly important happened in it. maybe it is just a room, or a game you used to play, or maybe the sound music or voices from another part of the house. try remembering it properly, not just the version you've been repeated to yourself. what did it smell like, was it morning or already dark, how old were you, were you wearing something you would hate now, what did you think was going on? and why did your brain keep that one tiny scene so clearly when there are whole years you can barely remember. maybe it came back because of your mood now, or because something in your life feels vaguely similar, or maybe there is no reason and that is the strangest part.

think about someone you barely knew and still remember all the time. like genuinely barely knew. one night, one week, one summer, whatever. write down everything you still know about them and then everything you have probably invented since.

write about the last time something felt a bit supernatural, even though you know it probably was not. a message arriving at the exact wrong or right moment, seeing the same number over and over again, hearing something in an empty house, dreaming about somebody and then seeing them the next day. write the sensible version first. then write the version you would tell if you were allowed to be slightly delusional about it.

make a list of things you used to be obsessed with and then dropped without ceremony. not just songs and books, also people, foods, apps you checked every day, outfits you wore until you hated them, routines, ways of speaking, entire personalities. don’t organise it into eras or explain yourself too much. I think it is more interesting to see what appears next to what. maybe there is something on the list you did not actually stop loving, you just forgot to look at it.

pick one dream (sleepy dreams not goals lol) that stayed with you and write down every part you can still remember before it disappears again. the silly details too. especially the silly details. where did it happend and did you know the place? were you alone or with someone and if so did you know them? did something feel completely normal in the dream and then horrible or strange once you woke up? and what had been going on around that time, what were you thinking about too much, who were you missing, what had you watched before bed, what were you trying not to think about. don’t make every object into a symbol because sometimes a chair is probably just a chair, but sometimes it really does feel like your brain knows something before you do.

write about an object you have kept for no proper reason. maybe it is broken, ugly, cheap, cute, from somebody you do not speak to anymore, or just something you have moved from drawer to drawer for years. where did it come from? when was the last time you actually looked at it? imagine throwing it away and be honest about whether you would care. I have things I would not notice were gone for months and would still be devastated when I finally realised.

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yayy that's it guys, first post after a looong time! I missed you guys so much, and I hope you all are having a lovely summer so far. <3

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