Aphroditee

I yearn for him, hoping he's doing the same.

I pray for him, for us, for love to gather us again in the right place and time.

Amen.

It's my 4 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

I feel betrayed as well. I've been left like I was nothing. I've become someone who is just there for the sake of time and acquaintance. I never received what I deserve even as a mere friend. I never got the truth or sincerity because of hidden lies and made up stories. I have been tolerant with lame excuses and dull talks. Then I am stepping back because it's not what I deserve. It's not what I'm supposed to get. That's far less than my worth.

He was someone so special that I could see everything in him. But the truth is, he never saw me the same because he's full of fears. Someone who lives in fear isn't living. Then again I'm to be lost and I lose nothing because I received nothing. Truth to be told. My feelings were adorning his words and so they meant a lot to me. Sadly, they lost effect now and he became someone with no words for himself. A man with no kept words is surely living with fears. Someone who's seeking respect is natural. Someone who loses his words as excuses is sickness.

I used to have a place to go, someone I turn to whenever and wherever, no matter the state or case. I used to have this kind of person. But now I no longer have him or it around. I pulled away for the last thing left for me to him which is respect. Now, I've only God to turn to and complain to. He who gives endlessly and with no count to his blessings for me.

Then, I change my question,

How am I gonna be remembered. How do I leave my prints and traces in people, especially the ones I treasure and care about.

I have many blessings to count. I've everything I need at this moment. When something feels like lacking it's only based on desires. Needs are always fulfilled because Allah doesn't let anyone needing.

We get our right portion of everything to stay balanced and healthy. Not to hurt ourselves, not to reach a dead end. Yes, there are days where we seem hopeless, needy, depressed and lonely. There are such days to remind us of how we're showered by blessings and must be thankful for that.

That's how I keep my balance, that's how I keep going and so if I ever want to leave people with a small trace of mine, I do my best to remind them of what life is like and how beautiful they are no matter what.

-a late night fragrance-