𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒 ୨ৎ

Anna Sawai as CATE RANDA in Monarch: Legacy of Monsters (2023-)

THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY — 2.06 "Love Fest"

            now this was ODD. under normal circumstances, a trade was the most typical thing any professional athlete would ever experience. yet the reason for his own trade centered around something that never actually happened. beau was in wrong place at the wrong time. what was he meant to do ? not fight back ? although, he begrudgingly admits that it seemed fitting that his tenure in san francisco ended with him feeling dejected  – almost in the same way when he arrived here. could he compare the two situations ? definitely not. but to leave the city in the way that he did, with his tail tucked between his legs and head hung low ? no. he had a broken heart from a love that felt like it was one in a million. a love that felt like the universe aligned things perfectly just for these two to meet. the kind of love that was so true and real that it was written in the stars, one that would be able to stand the test of time. and now he was back in the city where their story began ... and ended.             there was something in the air. it felt electrifying even when he turned towards the truck. he couldn’t place why he felt that way. the familiarity of it all, but how ? what was making him feel this way ? and then it happened. he should’ve known why. silly silly beau, how could you have forgotten ?  it was the same feeling he’s felt everytime they were remotely near each other. it was her. mai, the woman that his heart has been holding a candle for as long as he can remember ( read as: five years ), was walking towards him. no, towards the apartment building that he was about to move into. it couldn’t be , right ? fate couldn’t have been this cruel to not only bring him back to this city, but to have him move into the same building ? maybe she was meeting up someone. someone platonic maybe ( because if he was being honest, the thought of her running up to an apartment of her lover made him physically sick ).             “ hold on ! keep the doors open ! ” beau yelled out to her, hoping that she heard him. he was quickly walking up to the elevators while looking behind him to see if anyone was keeping up. lo and behold, wes was following right behind him. there wasn’t enough time for him to tell them to get the next elevator up considering the doors were already closing. “ fuck, come on, wes. we’re going to miss this one, ” he chatised, willing his legs to get in just a few more strides to get to her. there she was. finally. how much time has passed since she walked away ? how many nights did he spend wishing that he would have stayed in the city to just get a chance to be near her ? and if he did sleep, how many dreams about her has he had ?             “ mai. ” her name coming off of his lips didn’t feel foreign. it was like his lips were always meant to utter her name. “ y-yeah, ” beau clears his throat ( poorly, by the way ), “ hi ... you, um, are you going up ? ” and in that moment, if it wasn’t clear from his head dipping in defeat, he felt like the lamest person alive. was that all he could say to her ? he knew he was going to hear all about this later on. not that he cared if his teammate witnessed this reunion. “ i ... if it isn't obvious, i’m moving in. the ninth floor, actually. and i don’t know if you know but i, uh, play for the yankees now. that’s why i’m here. ” he wasn’t even sure how long he stood there practically gawking at her. his eyes carefully studying each line and curve on her face. beau’s heart constricted in his chest, like it was almost too painful to look at her. until he realized the elevator wasn’t moving, stopping his observation of her quickly. “ oh – ” clumsy hands fumbled with the box in his hands before pressing the button for the ninth floor, making note of the lit up button for a few floors above his.noted. “ do you, ” he swallowed, unsure if it was nerves or feeling parched, “ live here ? ” it was a casual question, no pressure ... definitely not trying to figure out if the stars were that wicked to him to get his hopes up for nothing. 

THERE WAS SOMETHING TO BE SAID about how reality had a way of being so much harder to wrap your mind around than even your wildest fantasies ; how it managed to subvert your every expectation, proving that your imagination had a nasty habit of catastrophizing. for instance, mai had spent years considering every possible scenario for her hypothetical reunion with beau, almost all of them beginning and ending with him wanting nothing to do with her. sure, there’d been the odd happy ending she’d let herself hope for, that he’d forgiven her and she’d forgiven herself and they could be together without anything weighing them down, but she’d been quick to dismiss them as impossible. even now as he rambles and it’s so reminiscent of the man she’d fallen in love with so long ago, she can’t let go of the creeping feeling that it’s just the shock of seeing each other again, that he’ll remember his anger and dismiss her as she always dreaded imagined he would. it was a relief, though, that beau’s friend had so unceremoniously abandoned them, the silly interaction serving to slice through the tension in the air, allowing her to breathe properly again. eyes wide, she watched in confusion and surprise as the doors slid closed again, turning her gaze back to beau questioningly. babe ? oh, she thought, this must be what it feels like to have a knife lodged in your stomach. her fears shrank away at the endearing look of incredulity on beau’s face, conceding to eat away at her heart in silence as she offered a small smile at the situation they found themselves in. swallowing past the lump in her throat, her fingers gripped the hem of her shorts as she spoke, grounding her as she tried not to focus too hard on how terribly she wanted him to say her name again. “ i’m, um, on the eleventh floor , ” she replied, remembering belatedly that she hadn’t actually pressed the button to bring her there. her cheeks warmed as she quickly pressed a finger on the 11 button, the pale yellow light mocking her for her forgetfulness. “ what— ” cutting herself off, she cleared her throat and began again, her embarrassed flush spreading down to her neck. it was no wonder his friend(?) had left, considering how neither of them could get a sentence out without stumbling over their words. “ i-i mean, congratulations, ” she tried, eyes meeting his for a moment before she dropped her gaze again. “ .. — i think .. ? if that’s, um, something warranting congratulations .. a-and if it’s not, then i’m, um, sorry ? that california didn’t .. didn’t work out .. ” maybe she should stop while she was ahead. maybe she should just press her lips together and not say another word, lest she continue to put her foot in her mouth.. but the knife was twisting in her gut. babe, babe, babe. “ was, um, was that your .. boyfriend ? before ? he, um, seems nice.. ” she winces at her own awkwardness, taking in a deep breath in a vain attempt to steel herself for this conversation she definitely wishes she hadn’t started. “ being back must make it easier .. no, um, long distance, you know ? ”

            now this was ODD. under normal circumstances, a trade was the most typical thing any professional athlete would ever experience. yet the reason for his own trade centered around something that never actually happened. beau was in wrong place at the wrong time. what was he meant to do ? not fight back ? although, he begrudgingly admits that it seemed fitting that his tenure in san francisco ended with him feeling dejected  – almost in the same way when he arrived here. could he compare the two situations ? definitely not. but to leave the city in the way that he did, with his tail tucked between his legs and head hung low ? no. he had a broken heart from a love that felt like it was one in a million. a love that felt like the universe aligned things perfectly just for these two to meet. the kind of love that was so true and real that it was written in the stars, one that would be able to stand the test of time. and now he was back in the city where their story began ... and ended.             there was something in the air. it felt electrifying even when he turned towards the truck. he couldn’t place why he felt that way. the familiarity of it all, but how ? what was making him feel this way ? and then it happened. he should’ve known why. silly silly beau, how could you have forgotten ?  it was the same feeling he’s felt everytime they were remotely near each other. it was her. mai, the woman that his heart has been holding a candle for as long as he can remember ( read as: five years ), was walking towards him. no, towards the apartment building that he was about to move into. it couldn’t be , right ? fate couldn’t have been this cruel to not only bring him back to this city, but to have him move into the same building ? maybe she was meeting up someone. someone platonic maybe ( because if he was being honest, the thought of her running up to an apartment of her lover made him physically sick ).             “ hold on ! keep the doors open ! ” beau yelled out to her, hoping that she heard him. he was quickly walking up to the elevators while looking behind him to see if anyone was keeping up. lo and behold, wes was following right behind him. there wasn’t enough time for him to tell them to get the next elevator up considering the doors were already closing. “ fuck, come on, wes. we’re going to miss this one, ” he chatised, willing his legs to get in just a few more strides to get to her. there she was. finally. how much time has passed since she walked away ? how many nights did he spend wishing that he would have stayed in the city to just get a chance to be near her ? and if he did sleep, how many dreams about her has he had ?             “ mai. ” her name coming off of his lips didn’t feel foreign. it was like his lips were always meant to utter her name. “ y-yeah, ” beau clears his throat ( poorly, by the way ), “ hi ... you, um, are you going up ? ” and in that moment, if it wasn’t clear from his head dipping in defeat, he felt like the lamest person alive. was that all he could say to her ? he knew he was going to hear all about this later on. not that he cared if his teammate witnessed this reunion. “ i ... if it isn't obvious, i’m moving in. the ninth floor, actually. and i don’t know if you know but i, uh, play for the yankees now. that’s why i’m here. ” he wasn’t even sure how long he stood there practically gawking at her. his eyes carefully studying each line and curve on her face. beau’s heart constricted in his chest, like it was almost too painful to look at her. until he realized the elevator wasn’t moving, stopping his observation of her quickly. “ oh – ” clumsy hands fumbled with the box in his hands before pressing the button for the ninth floor, making note of the lit up button for a few floors above his.noted. “ do you, ” he swallowed, unsure if it was nerves or feeling parched, “ live here ? ” it was a casual question, no pressure ... definitely not trying to figure out if the stars were that wicked to him to get his hopes up for nothing. 

HE WASN’T SURE HOW HE’D KNOWN, call it intuition or some kind of fucked up sign from above, but he knew volunteering themself for beau’s move-in crew at the measly price of a single meal was going to be a mistake. if anyone was to ask wes — ( nobody ever did, but it never really stopped them from sharing his opinions anyways ) — why he felt the need to grumble and whine and pitch a fit over the simple task of carrying boxes from a cab to an apartment, they’d have the very valid reason of free labor is literally a crime. and while wes wasn’t typically one to shy away from less - than - legal activities, he reserved the right to pick and choose which ones he was interested in participating in ( and it wasn’t actually against the law to do a favor for a friend, despite wes’ insistence that it was ). his point, however, was wholly proven the moment they saw the dumbstruck look on beau’s face. now ..  to say that wes was against the concept of love in general would be a lie — it was more that he didn’t understand it. the second his friend saw the girl in the elevator, it was like the rest of the world ( wes included, annoyingly enough ) just poofed out of existence ; one second all is fine in the world and the next? tension.. and not the fun kind. the atmosphere in the elevator became awkward the second the doors slid closed, essentially trapping wes with two lovestricken fools and a cardboard box labeled ' silverware ' in beau’s messy scrawl. biting back a groan, wes leaned against the cool metal wall, eyes rolling to the ceiling in a vain plea for heavenly interference that would free them from this hell. he knew beau wasn’t the most suave or unknowable player on their team, but to hear him reduced to a stuttering, stumbling mess of a person had wes grimacing in sympathy. words seemed to gush out of their friend like he didn’t know how to stop them, unintentionally making the uncomfortable moment drag on longer than it might’ve had he replied with a simple ‘hi, long time no see.’ “ alright .. ”  wes interrupted, pressing their lips together and squeezing past the girl to the panel of buttons on the wall that they had only just thought to acknowledge. they were passing the fourth floor, so wes haphazardly knocked his knuckles into the 5 button, knowing he wouldn’t last another five floors in the sappy pressure cooker that was their swanky little elevator. “ as much fun as this has been, i’m getting the fuck out of here before the implosion. ” it was really only a matter of time before the waterworks began .. or they’d end up making out. whichever outcome, wes wasn’t interested in being a fly on the wall. visibly sighing in relief at the ding signaling their arrival at the fifth floor, they stepped quickly out of the elevator, gaze set on the stairwell. looking briefly over their shoulder at beau to get a last word in, he offered a wide, teasing grin at his friend, the doors closing as he said, “ good luck, babe! you owe me double! ”

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