* / 𝒔𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍

it's  impossible  to  take  her  eyes  off  of  him  ,  attention  captured  the  second  the  sound  of  a  painfully  familiar  laugh  echoes  from  the  other  side  of  the  room  .  she  can't  keep  doing  this  to  herself  ,  eyes  lifting  just  above  the  rim  of  her  glass  to  steal  yet  another  glance  at  a  smile  that's  still  as  sickeningly  bright  as  she  remembered  .  she  almost  feels  guilty  for  trying  to  take  on  other  conversations  ,  every  few  words  broken  up  by  momentary  lapses  in  thought  when  her  gaze  couldn't  help  but  stray  two  tables  over  only  to  dart  towards  the  floor  the  second  he  turns  to  look  back at  her  .  a  routine  of  mental  gymnastics  ensues  for  the  rest  of  the  night  ,  thoughts  restlessly  debating  between  completely  avoiding  him  or  actually  taking  advantage  of  what  feels  like  a  second  chance  the  universe  rarely  ever  affords  .  by  the  time  she  settles  on  the  second  option  it  seems  most  of  the  attendees  have  dissipated  ,  leaving  only  a  few  stragglers  and  a  singular  stool  occupied  at  the  bar  .  "  is  this  seat  taken  ?  "  hand  lifts  to  place  a  gentle  touch  on  the  back  of  his  shoulder  ,  a  soft  smile  pulling  at  the  corners  of  her  lips  .  "  i  figured  you'd  be  here  but  i'd  expected  you  to  have  left  by  now  ,  isn't  it  past  your  bedtime  ?  "  she  teases  ,   "  god  it's  been  ages  hasn't  it  ⸺  you  sort  of  dropped  off  the  face  of  the  earth  after  secondary  school  ,  "  i  missed  you  ,  she  wants  to  say  ,  but  the  words  can't  quite  make  it  past  the  tip  of  her  tongue  .  "  i  was  starting  to  think  maybe  you  were  some sort of secret member of parliament . . . " ( @eautendres )

            “   i  have  no  idea  why  you’d  come  here  with  no  one  on  your  arm   ––   let  alone  not  even  try  to  mingle  and  find  someone  here  to  pass  your  time  with .   ”   good  grief ,   must  he  have  to  explain  to  her  that  if  she  left  him  alone  then  just  maybe  he  could  manage  to  do  that ?   but  again ,   the  only  reason  why  jordan  was  here  was  to  appease  her  and  avoid  the  grumbling  he  would  have  met  at  their  sunday  dinner .   “   it’s  not  like  you’ll  entertain  the  thought  of  me  setting  you  up  with  someone .   that  job  at  that  law  firm  isn’t  going  to  fulfill  you  forever ,   jordan .   ”   he  turned  his  gaze  anywhere  else  in  the  room  to  find  some  form  of  an  escape .   and  there  she  was .   aria  eden - west .   god ,   what  a  sight  she  was .   she  still  looked  the  same  but  her  beauty  was  more  refined  now   ––   a  balanced  mixture  of  sharp ,   smooth ,   and  graceful .   “   mum ,   i  think  it’s  time  that  i  go  try  to  do  exactly  what  you’ve  been  kindly  reminding  me  to  do .   ”   jordan  grins  at  her ,   bending  down  to  press  a  chaste  kiss  to  her  cheek  before  walking  back  into  the  crowd  to  find  her .   unfortunately  for  him ,   people  from  the  gala  tried  to  capture  his  attention ,   including  him  in  discussion  that  he  had  to  respectfully  join  in   (   otherwise  he  wouldn’t  here  the  last  of  it  from  both  his  mother  and  father   ) .             the  night  continued  on ,   the  pace  of  the  event  finally  slowing  down  and  jordan  was  in  dire  need  of  a  drink .   thoughts  and  images  of  aria  throughout  the  night  crept  into  his  mind .   “   whiskey  please ,   whatever  you  have .   ”   he  would  have  much  rather  approached  her ,   spent  his  time  catching  up  with  her .   but  it  seemed  that  they  both  had  obligations  and  appearances  to  keep .   just  another  unfortunate  responsibility  that  they’ve  had  to  endure  since  they  were  young .   with  a  soft  hand  against  his  shoulder ,   jordan  turned  his  head  to  find  her  standing  next  to  him .   there  it  was   ––   the  all  too  familiar  squeeze  to  his  heart  whenever  he  saw  her .   “   it’s  all  yours .   ”   smooth .   so incredibly  great .   that’s  all  he  could  muster ?   he  couldn’t  help  it .   when  was  the  last  time  he’s  spoken  to  her ?             he  let  out  a  scoff  as  he  held  his  glass  up  to  his  lips .   “   i  was  subjected  to  have  that  curfew  purely  because  my  cousin  wanted  to spite  me  and  tell  baseless  lies  and  you  know  that .   ”   jordan  let  the  whiskey  burn  down  his  alcohol ,   sure  that  it  wasn’t  the  amber  liquid  bringing  life  back  into  his  bones  but  the  person  standing  next  to  him .   he  motioned  to  the  stool  to  silently  ask  her  to  join  him .   “   i  got  the  golden  opportunity  to  travel  the  world  before  finally  deciding  on  what  i  wanted  to  do  with  my  life ...   well ,   until  my  parents  decided  what  i  would  be  doing .   then  life  kind  of ...   did  it’s  thing .   although ,   i’m  sure  mum  would  have  been  thrilled  if  i  had  aspirations  to  be  in  parliament .   ”   he  grinned ,   turning  his  body  to  give  her  his  full  attention .   “   what  about  you ?   i’ve  seen  you  pop  up  on  my  feed  quite  a  bit .   successful  business  woman  in  her  own  right  with  a  well - loved  youtube  channel .   anymore  talents  and  success  you’ve  got  tucked  away ?   should  i  expect  an  acting  career ?   maybe  a  poster  of  you  in  the  west  end ?   ”

THE INFIRMARY, WHILE NOT ALWAYS THE CALMEST PLACE, was hector’s refuge. maybe it was the golden sunlight filtering through the warped glass windows or the smell of soft cotton and nectar wafting through the air … he wasn’t entirely sure what it was exactly about these four walls that made him feel just the slightest bit lighter, but he wasn't going to question it. his half-siblings often told him that he seemed like a different person when he was there, that he was maybe a little kinder, a little more at peace. they couldn’t know, of course, that he hadn’t had a single moment of peace in years, that the low set to his shoulders was not to be mistaken for contentment. it was just easier there; easier to lose himself in his work and to pretend like the rest of the world didn’t exist. such ease, however, was never a lasting feeling — it came on at its own slow pace, giving him a short but sweet opportunity to breathe properly, but it left in a rush, leaving his mind reeling and his hands trembling in its wake. he stood there, now, fingers wrapped in a vice grip around the cool glass neck of the bottle of nectar he’d just taken off the shelf, the golden liquid inside sloshing quietly as they trembled. he gazed hard into the middle distance, knowing better than to close his eyes lest the memories overwhelm him as they did when he tried to sleep. the silence in the room built and built in his ears, turning from a low hum to a roar, making his vision blur and his mind spin. the sound of the door opening startled him out of the panicked nosedive he’d been in, leading to him jolting from his spot and turning abruptly in the direction of the commotion. maybe his mom was right about fate and destiny and all that other bullshit, because what else would’ve brought paxton to him at the exact right moment he was needed? scowling to hide the absolute relief that flooded through his bloodstream, hector let his shoulders relax and his grip on the bottle loosen until he was no longer in danger of shattering it in his palm. his pulse still raced and his ears were still faintly ringing, but he could feel the cool balm of calm spreading down his spine at just paxton’s presence ( he’d long since gotten over the embarrassment of being so reliant on the other .. at least, he’d come to accept it. the last thing he’d be doing is telling paxton of his impact ). “ don’t even bother asking for more ambrosia — i’ve already given you enough that it’s a shock you’re not having halucinations, so i’m cutting you off. ” — ( @eautendres )

         the sharp clangs of swords and shields was all that could be heard from the arena. as per usual, paxton watched carefully over his half-siblings. for years, he stood in this exact spot – eyes trained and thoughts prepared to critique ( but never to berate. no, never to berate a sort of vitriol. he knew better than to do that ) techniques. the most important thing to him was to ensure that anyone in the camp was set up in the best possible situation to protect themselves and others. he knew the consequences of being inadequate. what it felt like to feel a loss so strong that the feeling of guilt was the only emotion that could overcome that feeling. for years, paxton has tried anything that would erase the blood on his hands. nothing would satisfy the ache in their chest, the nightmares that haunted them at night. the thought of losing himself in ambrosia was tempting enough. just a little to get him through the day ... the night ... the nightmares. but no, he knew better. so what did he do instead ? what he knew best – train. train until he could trick his brain into thinking about every ache and pain he felt than to think about the hidden monsters that lurked in his conscience. train until he had nothing left in himself and his body had no choice but to force him into a slumber that didn’t manifest nightmares.          ‘ quit doing that. do you have a death wish with how hard you’re overworking your body ? ’ a razor-edged tone cut through their thoughts. hector. as if on cue, their mind would conjure up their warnings when paxton could feel himself getting near the edge. it was almost like their mind was in a disagreement on how to cope with the demons that haunt him. no. it hasn’t been long enough. nothing hurt yet. paxton gritted his teeth, a snarl waiting to erupt from between his lips until his voice rang loud and clear in his mind once more. ‘ this isn’t going to bring them back. come rest. ’ “ fuck, okay. fine. ” he muttered to himself as he nodded to one of his half-siblings to take over for him. his legs were moving on their own towards the infirmary, the ache between his shoulders already dissipating with every step he took. even the pressure in their chest began to lessen as soon as they opened the door, the familiar scent of the infirmary comforting them in ways that was indescribable.             paxton let out a scoff as he entered through the door. of course they wouldn’t forget about the ambrosia. “ i only took the ambrosia because you wouldn’t stop glaring at me. ” paxton rolled his eyes dramatically before plopping down onto his favorite bed in the room. a peaceful sigh slipped from his lips as his eyes fluttered close, the bed already lulling him to find rest. it was quiet. his thoughts were quiet. “ besides, the infirmary is finally empty and i can lay here without you trying to banish me with your scowls. that and … ” he opens one of his eyes to look at their companion, feigning a grimace. “ can you come look at my arm ? i think i tweaked something today while i was helping one of my siblings with a technique. ” which usually meant he was demonstrating the technique against one of his older half-siblings until they had to tap out. toda ? it was more or less an excuse to get hector closer to him. “ no ambrosia like you said. just you. ” was it a bit sly ? maybe. but if they were going to get even a hint of rest, he’d rather have it be with hector than him pushing his body to its limit. this was the healthiest thing to do for himself. “ i’ll even be quiet this time around. no teasing. no snark. no tricks … what do you say, hector ? ”

[ ! ] content warning: kissing, flashing, gun

"  i  can't  keep  pretending  like  i  don't  have  feelings  for  you  .  .  .  "

          “   miles  ...   ”   the  way  his  name  fell  from  her  lips  could  hardly  even  be  considered  a  whisper.   her  body  waged  a  war  with  her  mind,  begging  it  to  reach  out  to  hold  his  hand  to  comfort  him.   but  the  second  she  dared  to  do  that  she  knew  that  she’d  rub  more  salt  into  his  wounds.   what  was  she  supposed  to  do  now ?   the  two  had  matching  wounds.   hers  from  someone  that  she  thought  she’d  spend  the  rest  of  her  life  with  and  his  ...  came  from  her.  she  knew  it  was  her  fault  that  she  buried  something  (   read  as :  them   )  alive  that  never  died  to  begin  with.   if  hana  were  to  be  completely  honest  with  herself   ...   the  ghost  that  she  once  was  only  began  to  come  back  to  life  because  of  him.   miles  was  the  one  to  coax  warmth  and  life  back  into  her  soul  just  with  being  himself.   someone  as  true  and  genuine  as  him ?   he  was  like  balm  to  her  soul.   even  now,   with  where  they  were,   they  were  still  in  step  with  one  another.   so  why  was  she  so  scared ?  because  if  things  didn’t  work  out  with  him,  she  knew  that  she  wouldn’t  be  able  to  make  it  out  of  the  heartbreak.              “   i   ...   i  wish  i  knew  what  to  say.   i  wish  there  was  something  that  i  could  say  that  wouldn’t  hurt  either  of  us   ...   i’m  just   ...   scared  because  ––   ”   hana  shook  her  head  in  a  sorry  attempt  to  stop  herself  from  shedding  a  tear.   all  of  her  insecurities  came  to  the  surface  in  that  moment.   “   i’m  scared,   miles.   of  the  future.   of  what  could  happen  to  us.   i   ...   it’s  so  selfish  but  i’d  much  rather  have  you  in  my  life  now  than  risk  having  a  future  where  you’re  not  in  it.  i  can’t  lose  you.   ”

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