You have led me once again into the halls of my becoming.
Into a school not of the past, but of transformation.
The walls echo with memory, yet pulse with new meaning.
You are repurposing even the familiar for Your glory.
In the marketplace of voices and ventures,
You have given me eyes to see,
a discerning heart to observe without becoming entangled.
Though others watch with shadowed glances,
You remind me:
I am not who I once was.
I am Yours,
refined and rededicated.
I searched for rest, a space to release,
and found only detours and redirections.
But even this is grace.
For You are teaching me to wait for the rooms You prepare —
not those under renovation,
but those built upon Your timing and truth.
I passed faces from old stories, some still living, others long gone.
And yet, You anchored me
with a simple moment, a shared sweetness,
with one who does not share my blood
but whose presence brings quiet peace.
You show me, Father,
that family is not only by birth
but by the Spirit who knits hearts together.
Let my soul drink deeply of what You offer;
the energy of Your Spirit,
the joy of Your grace,
the restoration I still long for but have yet to find.
Guide me through these floors and seasons, O Lord.
Make clean what has been defiled.
Renew what has been misused.
And when the time comes,
open wide the door that says:
“Here. Rest here. Be cleansed. You are home.”
Amen.
“The one thing I ask of the Lord— the thing I seek most— is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and meditating in his Temple.”
Psalm 27:4
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There were days when silence
felt louder than love—
when your name echoed
in the caverns of my mind,
and the ache of your absence
sat beside me like breath.
I searched the wind for signs.
I asked the moon questions.
I turned pages I never would have chosen,
following a trail of stars and cards
and unanswered prayers.
And yet,
God was there.
Not angry, not absent,
but whispering through my wanderings,
“Even this… I will redeem.”
There were journals I never meant to write —
love letters folded in longing,
tears soaked into margins
like ink remembering its source…
They weren’t wasted.
They were seeds.
And now, in the light of returned discernment,
I see:
He was present even then,
guarding the roots of a heart
that refused to forget love,
even when it looked foolish to wait.
What I found in the wilderness
wasn’t just a longing for him —
it was a deeper cry
for the One who made me capable of love at all.
And in that recognition,
I began to return
to myself,
to God,
to truth.
So if the silence lingers,
as the answer still tarries,
I will tend to this hope like a candle.
Not desperate,
but devoted.
Because even in absence,
God remains.
And even in delay,
His promises
breathe.
“My beloved has gone down to his garden, to the beds of spices, to browse in the gardens and to gather lilies. I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine…”- Song of Songs 6:2-3
This piece sits at a kind of crossroads for me.
“In the Absence, a Flame” came out of a weekend filled with memories, unexpected reminders, and a journaled past I hadn’t looked at in a while. I was cleaning (purging really), watching an old favorite story (Thumbelina), binging a new one (Forever), and suddenly remembering how much of my journey through heartbreak, hope, and healing has been shaped by stories — some rooted in fantasy, especially as a child, and some in faith, as I grew into womanhood.
For a season, I believed in “twin flames” more than I believed in the biblical kind of love. I didn’t know how else to make sense of the pull I felt toward someone who wasn’t there. But even in the confusion, God was working. Gently shifting my heart from obsession to trust, from seeking signs to seeking Him.
This poem is about what grew in the absence. And maybe it’s also a soft beginning to something new.
Sometimes what we thought we lost was only waiting to grow in a deeper place...
The core of most religious misunderstandings I've witnessed with irreligious people is that they fundamentally misunderstand what religion is to religious people. It's not simply a matter of choosing what worldview most appeals to you or matches your own opinions. This is how you fundamentally believe the world already works, and living accordingly. It's not selecting from an array of possibilities with varying appeal, but aligning yourself with truth. You may not always like that truth, but that doesn't mean you get to throw it out or pick something else - you do the changing to match religious reality, not the other way around. I'm coming at this from a Christian experience, obviously, but this is true of any religion that claims objective, exclusive truth. "Why would you choose to follow a God who—" Because I didn't choose this God; this God, the only true one who exists, chose me; and I best get my priorities and values in order with his, because this world is here by his creative whim. He alone defines truth; he is truth.
Tbh, I always thought Numbers would be boring. At first glance it appears to be just a census, as it would change over the time it took for the Israelites to defeat pagan tribes and take their land, after they were brought out of Egypt. Essentially it is that, but there are some deep messages there, too. God showed a lot of mercy to the people because of Moses’s faithfulness, but there came a few times where The Lord simply “put His foot down,” so to speak.
Moses, in distress, asks God for mercy as he doesn’t know how to lead and carry the people - it’s a burden he didn’t feel equipped for. Their wining and complaining and weariness of faith was too much! And so The Lord grants 70 elders/leaders a portion of the Spirit that He blessed Moses with so that they may also prophesy and assist in carrying the burden of the people. Now, in a way, he would share his gift and his responsibility.
The Lord was dissatisfied with the people (who were rescued but) who still craved “the meat” from Egypt - so much so that they would curse Him & wish to go back. So God sends so much meat that the faithful would be fulfilled and those who were the gluttons would die for their sin.
Miriam (Aaron & Moses’ sister) & Aaron spoke against the most humble - Moses - and his relationship with God, claiming they too have spoken for Him directly. Right?! While there were prophets in the midst, God set Moses apart because of his trustworthy character.
TMH revealed Himself and spoke face-to-face with Moses rather than giving him visions or riddles or difficult work. He instructed Moses and miracles were performed THROUGH him in his obedience. They knew that, but spoke out of jealousy, upsetting TMH (who sees/hears everything). So the siblings (Miriam specifically, due to Aaron’s priesthood and the need for him to remain ceremonially clean?) were briefly punished before they could proceed on their journey - Miriam had a bout with leprosy and was healed within a few days.
The people rebelled against Moses and Aaron repeatedly, and so they rejected and rebelled against God who led them. They continued to complain and show lack of trust & faith in the Lord, despite all His miracle work and protection, so He told the Israelites that their children would be saved, but that they themselves would be left to die in the wilderness. They tried to move forward anyways, claiming they knew they sinned and were ready for the promised land. But God would not allow it nor would he be with them. They abandoned Him, so He abandoned them.
Korah and his gang of 250 approach Aaron and Moses claiming that all Israelites are set apart and that the Levites weren’t special. When they brung this test to the Lord, 250 men were burned and 2 families were swallowed whole and alive by the Earth, then returned, again proving God’s mighty power.
The people rebel again, this time over water. Complaining still. At this time, Moses (and Aaron, too) seals his own deal and is sentenced to death by The Lord - meaning that he would also die in the wilderness - because he was not obedient. God gave clear instruction and maybe for a split second, Moses lacked faith or understanding. Maybe he was just frustrated and acted in haste. He took an action that was not according to God’s will and so, neither of these leaders would enter the promised land.
When the people listened to and trusted in the Lord (and His appointed mouth piece), they received their blessings. Joshua (Hosea), who was Moses’ assistant, was also a faithful and humble servant of the Lord. Joshua would live through the wilderness while everyone else (from the initial exodus generation) died by God’s command, and was assigned to take Moses’ position as the Leader of Israel at the time of Moses’ death.
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The Lord, through Moses, further solidifies His relationship and covenant with the Israelites, and outlines His list of non-negotiable rules - along with blessings for those who obey, and punishments for those who would disobey Him. It is a call to Holy Living through choice and action.
This is the book where proper practices for making Holy Sacrifices and Offerings to God are detailed. A major thing of note that casts a sort of shadow on Leviticus is the “Sin Offering” which at the time needed to be done on occasion of specified sin as well as on a yearly ritualistic basis to cleanse the people. If I understand correctly, this particular offering practice would become obsolete when Jesus was crucified and died for our sins.*
Also defined are:
1. Clean and Unclean Animals (which should and should not be eaten/touched),
2. Particular Purification Rituals,
3. Prohibitions regarding Sexual Practices and the handling of Blood, and
4. Personal Holiness/Conduct (how one sets themselves apart as “holy” and in reverence to The Most High) {Leviticus 19}
Some of the ordinances set in this chapter had not been mentioned previously and that means to me that God was capable of not only creation and destruction, but also of awareness and modification. It’s almost as if he utilized the SWOT analysis after each Human Hiccup. I believe that the Lord set these laws with the Israelites as a continued test of faith and loyalty to Him. “Before we go any further, hear me and hear me well.” I mean, yes He would want to see his children prosper, but He didn’t mind executing with fury, as well. If His people could rebuke the sins of those who they lived with before, and refuse the sins of those who they would come into contact with BECAUSE GOD SAID, they would of course find favor in His eyes.
Think in Morgan Freeman’s epic voice: “I have saved these {people} and given them food, water and protection. Still, they are capable of doing what they want because I have also given them free-will. I give them what they need, and still, they consistently find new ways to defy me - even after I tell them what should not be done and what will happen if they do… when I show them my Glory, they fear me awhile and turn back to their wits soon enough. They are either brave or stupid. But at least if I tell them *everything* they need to know not to do, their punishments (or rewards) would be justified. They will worship me, for I am the Lord their God, or they will perish.”
I’m not mocking The Lord at all, I assure you. I like movies and this is how I imagined he may have felt during the times. I do pray this is not offensive to anyone who matters.
I can fully understand how this chapter (the one that basically calls most of us all Sinners) could be a trigger for most people in the world today - it is where [who we are] and [what we do] that would have undeniably disappointed our Father in Heaven is written plainly and lives forever. It is where our devilish neighbors pull a line from to demonize the next sinner. While some of the information is outdated and/or simply irrelevant for modern day Christians*, other parts do give us a first glance at right and wrong in the eyes of TMH (and those who walk with Him). And so, it is a very important book to familiarize yourself with if you want to be “good” in the general sense of the word. Because of Jesus’ crucification, we experience wrath and reward much differently from what is written here - as in, punishments are not carried out the same as they were anymore, and some of these regulations no longer apply.
The Lord displays unparalleled power against His enemy, and mercy for his people, using Moses as messenger. God reveals that He is all knowing and even shines His direct light on Moses, because Moses was righteous and obedient. The Ten Commandments are written (Exodus 20) and altars/tabernacles and proper ways are defined.
Moses did not think he was worthy or prepared for what God set on his path. And what *did* Moses know?
Moses knew that he knew nothing. But he was blessed, and having been granted:
1. the only opportunity to lead his people (whom he’d once oppressed) out of slavery;
2. eye-witness to God’s majesty through his very own body (as God spoke and Moses acted or repeated His words - prophesying God’s will); AND
3. singular, direct access to the glory of God (on numerous occasions!);
he quickly came to understand that all he needed to know was God. Moses was granted these things because God trusted him. God knew Moses’s heart.
He had been blessed and protected from birth, shielded from imminent death (in his infancy!) and given the treasure of a royal upbringing. A Hebrew baby boy, literally sentenced to death by the very people who would raise him in their home.
When he grew up, Moses committed a crime, and God vindicated him. Moses told God that he was not capable to do what He asked of him, and God told him that he had everything he would need. A stick by which some of his miracles would be performed, and his brother, Aaron*…
God knew that His people would move at the sounds of Moses’ and Aaron’s voices. However, Pharaoh was a stubborn man, and God knew that too (of course, right). He knew that it would take many disastrous trials - up to and including the overnight massacre of the first born sons of all the land! - before Pharaoh would allow Israel’s people to depart from Egypt. And he also knew that once the exodus began, given the right moment, an army would pursue Israel in an effort to destroy them. The Lord told Moses, upfront, {Exodus4:21-23} “when you arrive, you will show Pharaoh my power through the miracles I have empowered you with, and I will make it so that he rebukes Me** and refuses to let My firstborn child (Israel) go. And you will tell him, since he has refused, I will now k!ll your first born son.” And that is what He did.
Moses was not shy with God. He asked questions from “Why me?” when presented with his big assignment, to “Can’t you forgive and spare the lives of those same people you have just saved from Egypt - YOUR people?” when Israel’s people became restless and decided to participate in idolatry - which apparently The Lord detests! AND had told them NOT to do***. How could they?! He was ready to wipe them OUT.
Moses had gone to meet with The Lord (for 40 days and nights) so that the law and the covenant could be written, and in his absence, the fools turned up! Listen, even Moses was pissed. So much so that he scolded them and destroyed the mess they made. And BECAUSE MOSES ASKED God to consider the weight of his anger (and reminded Him of his promise to His servants Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob {Exodus32:11-13}) - God punished them but He did spare their lives. And only those who came to Him.
*Moses had an older brother who would speak for him (be his mouthpiece), as Moses spoke God’s words - because his older brother was *of* the people (born and raised Hebrew) and could influence and lead them in a way, as well… meaning the people would listen. As such, Aaron the Levite (Moses brother) would eventually become the first High Priest who would consult with The Most High regarding Israel’s (the peoples) most pressing concerns.
**The Pharoah of Egypt, who sees himself and the ancient gods as “God” with pride and dignity, would surely deny the works of The Most High, so long as they could be disproved with magic… The Lord knew that this embedded system would lead to the Exodus (as well as the destruction) he had planned. He also knew it was a sure way to display His own true majesty for the sake of the Israelites.
***The people feared the presence of The Lord who appeared before them just once (on Mt Sinai), and they understood very well who brought them out of Egypt. God demanded that they remember “to not make idols of silver or gold to rival me.” {Exodus20:22-23}.
****Exodus 18:13-26 Moses’ stepfather advised him to assign helpers so Moses would not bear the burden of ALL of Israel's people on his own shoulders. Moses would then only receive the most pressing issues which might need to be taken to The Lord.
PART 2 - Because when I started this series, I thought I would only be choosing a segment rather than speaking on the book at large - which is how I handled every book since. So here is the second post on Genesis, for the sake of integrity.
1b. Genesis
The first reflection of Genesis centered around the story of Cain and Abel, but this broad book of the beginnings of time covers much, much more than a message about giving God our best and avoiding hatred to the point of murder...
For instance, we also about the creation of the world. God spoke and all things came to be.
We also learn about Obedience. When Adam and Eve obeyed the Lord, they were joyful and childlike - lacking any pain, shame or worry. But when they chose to follow the voice of the enemy - to see the world and gain knowledge that The Lord deliberately told them to keep away from - they became susceptible to evil in the flesh, essentially dooming mankind to sin. It appears to have been an irrevocable decision - that we would have to experience the world and all of it's torture because of this decision made so long ago. Even wiping out the entire human race would not keep us from reverting to bad behaviors - because we had become exposed to too much already.
For a long time, the human part of me had not been able to let go of the simple question: "why would The Lord make this tree of knowledge of good and evil accessible to them?" to which Holy Spirit seemed to respond "because He granted them freedom under ONE RULE, yet He also gave them freewill." They had a choice, and they chose to disobey their creator.
Sidenote(s): Now, I will reiterate that I am an infant and I know little to nothing in terms of what/why/how/when/where the Lord makes His decisions. I have gotten in the habit of acceptance rather than upset because these are obviously things we were never meant to experience, let alone understand. But since we're here... We should at least be grateful for the Word, and in this day, for Jesus Christ, and attempt to make better choices than our ancestors. No matter the generation, we lose access to God's glory when we choose to follow the world's way and/or the enemy's voice over what The Lord has told us so plainly. For instance: later, when The Lord introduces The Covenant to his chosen people (the Israelites) through Moses, He said they would be covered by his grace as long as they did not break it. He was a very forgiving God, for as they broke the covenant time and again, he would always come back to save them when they came to him in earnest. And while the circumstances are much different now, the same effect applies. If I understand at least this part correctly, eternal life/paradise is accessible to EVERYONE under one condition: faith in Christ.
So boom. Adam and Eve sin. Their eldest child murders his younger brother, who'd found favor with the lord. And a third son is born - his name is Seth.
Years and generations later, The Lord is upset and completely over the dealings of fresh, fleshy humans. They are despicable. And so the Lord plans the great flood and instructs Noah to build the Ark. The hallmark lesson from Noah's story is not only that he and his family were obedient to God's message - despite how crazy he must have seemed at the time - and therefore blessed with the opportunity to "be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 9:1-4) but also that of the way we should honor our parents. Noah curses his son's lineage because when Ham could have chosen to quietly take care of his father, he chose to dishonor him by exploiting his nakedness. This was the curse of the Canaanites (Genesis 9:18-27), the clans of people who would be in opposition to God's Chosen people down the line.
The Tower of Babel is addressed here (Genesis 11:1-9) as well as the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. During this destruction, we learn that Lot's wife is another one who doesn't listen and she turns into a pillar of salt. Then, his daughters get Lot drunk and become pregnant with his children - Moab and Ben-ammi - the ancestors of the Moabites and Ammonites (Genesis 19:1-38). (FYI, Lot is a nephew of Abraham's.)
The final major message I will share is (some of) the story of Abraham. He was first called "Abram" and his wife Sarah was first called "Sarai".
"The Lord had said to Abram, "Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father's family, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to many others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you."
- Genesis 12:1-3
Abraham was counted as righteous because of his faith. He'd asked God what good were all the Lord's blessings when he didn't even have a son, to which the Lord responded that Abraham would have as many descendants as there were stars in the sky (Genesis 15:2-6).
Now, Sarah had done some weird things in the interim, but The Lord most certainly kept his promise and Sarah became pregnant in her old age, bearing Abraham's second son about 14 years after Ishmael (born to Sarah's Egyptian servant Hagar). She was 91 and Abraham was 100. Her son was named Issac (which means "one who laughs or rejoices). Abraham's faith would be tested in a way most would not pass - but he was faithful, so he did everything the Lord had commanded, and was blessed even more for it. Jacob later married Rebekah and fathered Jacob, who was later called Israel.
The Lord also presented the responsibility of circumcision upon Abraham and all of his male descendants (and his servants) as a new term of His covenant - a mark of everlasting covenant (Genesis 17:9-14). He obeyed; clearly, circumcision is still a very regular practice today.
And that's all folks... Wow. Genesis is quite a book. If you've never read it I highly recommend that you do because I still only covered a fraction of the details.
PART 1 - Because when I started this series, I thought I would only be choosing a segment rather than speaking on the book at large - which is how I handled every book since. So I will follow up with a second post on Genesis for the sake of integrity.
1. Genesis.
The ultimate betrayal (of a sibling) (around jealousy/envy) is amongst the very first of things that we learn that God frowns upon. It’s literally the story as old as time and still, it will never not surprise or trigger me to think…
Cain killed Abel, and spat in God’s face when He asked about it. Why? Cain felt shorted by the same God he wouldn’t give his best to. And because his younger brother Abel was accepted and rewarded for his efforts, Cain selfishly spilled his brother’s blood. I wonder if he knew what his action would mean - if this were the first murder in history, would he understand the concept of death? Did the fruit his parents ate give them this knowledge so purely that the first family knew it all? We do know that he knew he was wrong, because he hid & lied, which made God more upset. Cain was so angry and that terrible energy made him susceptible to evil. God could HEAR his child (Abel) crying although he no longer had breath or pulse. And that hurt Him. Who seeks to hurt The Most High, God?
Cain’s curse was issued swiftly. Cain was shunned from God’s presence & made agonizingly immortal. Cain would be insatiable for all his days - thirsty for blood (due to his unwarranted bloodshed) and shielded from vanquish by enemies. God had punished Cain so severely that anyone who came to enforce more punishment or to even kill him would suffer a similar fate. He was the first “vampire” and person to become a demon by God’s command.
I wonder if we should assume that Cain “died” in the flood. The spirit of Cain is still very much so prevalent today. Don’t be a Cain. Be better - give God your best, not your crumbs.
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I once said "tarot is not evil" and if you have been around, you may recall that I had a different type of "transparency session" to share when I said this. I have since learned that...perhaps it is.
Why? Because it is not of God.
I would *not* say that a person is inherently "evil" because they utilize tarot cards, HOWEVER, when you know better you do better. If you are Christian, you must leave those tools alone. The Word consistently says one should not even consult such mediums - but instead to Go STRAIGHT to GOD.
I wish I had known sooner... That I had chosen to pervert my gifts rather than to run to my Abba and ask Him to teach me how to execute them properly. I wish I could rewind and start by cultivating a sound mind and handling my most valued relationships with Him, rather than on my own. I had only thought I would meet Him in my dreams, when he would save me from a nightmare. I was not self-guided to a church or even a therapist. I'd thought I was going a bit crazy, but that I could handle it. I did not know how he would or could answer my questions and clear my mind - it was everywhere but on Him, so I ran where most of us tend to...the internet! BIG MISTAKE! >_<
God is not a fan of divination. Okay, this I knew. But not that I might be condemned - because in my mind, my heart was always pure! I wanted understanding, not to harm, curse or put spells on anyone. And of course, Jesus died for my sins! The truth is, you cannot be of the world AND of the Word simultaneously. Even more, you cannot be a God-fearing person who claims to love Jesus Christ AND a practitioner of pagan systems. For a time, I unwittingly practiced witchcraft despite claiming not to be a witch.
Please note that as I write through my testimony and prepare to express the details of my "stretching", I am in no way demonizing myself. I can attest to having learned much through this process and grasp that He knew what I would do before I did it. And while it may be disappointing as it may have set me back a bit, I'm STILL HERE for a reason or two. For one, here are other sisters and brothers out there who need to know that they can walk away from sin, in earnest repentance, and be born again, too.
When I leaned on my own understanding - before I began to read my bible and meet up with God for myself again (as an adult with much less innocence than my younger self), I misspoke about some things. I have since repented and still, may be led to release even more as He reveals new truths to me on a daily basis. I'm not sure what though, I hardly have anything left at this point. In fact, I have renounced many aspects of my former life over the past few months, even selling much of my beloved gold jewelry. It is both freeing and to be honest, a bit difficult.
Why? Because I can no longer rely on those things and people to save and comfort me. To cater to my ego and affirm my success. They are no longer part of me, so I can no longer benefit from them the same. We are no longer attached. They serve no purpose here. There is an apparent dissociation. I have been stripped. I am like a newborn, waiting for my Parent to do everything for me. To feed me, to clothe me, to clean me up and give me reasons to smile. Miss Independent doesn't always know how to deal with waiting - but I am dealing, and I am waiting.
To date, God has allowed me to attain all of the things that I have ever wanted (short of my own HOME and FAMILY - what has been my truest definition of success). And when I turned to Him, ironically, he has allowed for all of these things to fall away - or for me to release - and it wasn't always willingly, readily, or happily on my end. I have had so much to say and have been at a loss for words at the same time. Because pride... But trust...
I have had to learn to rely on God alone. And the community he has set aside for my new path.
This is where discernment comes into play. God doesn't say that we cannot have associates and love our families who are nonbelievers (in fact, He wants us to love everyone and show them who He is by our actions) - but when you step into certain spaces and change your life entirely - your walk and your talk are made different. Rejection and judgement in many old, familiar places (and sometimes even disdain and disrespect) is to be expected. Another wish I have had is that I'd known how to handle these things better before now. Although I maintain that I have told no lies, I acknowledge where some of what I said would eventually manifest or reveal itself without me having to preamble it. When I heard "speak child" I did not have the discernment to know when to shut up and standby - according to HIS will. Even Jesus sometimes chose to hold his tongue when approached by the enemy.
Now, I know to ask for the Holy Spirit to be with me in those tougher times; the times I cannot read so well. To guide and protect my words, as well as my actions. Because not everyone who presents themselves as a "friend" or a "confidant" or a "prophet" or a "Christian" is that. I learned quickly how often soothsayers and companions would be so open to allowing the enemy to use their vessels against God's children. Claiming to be the same but cut from an entirely different cloth. Don't let this go over your head.
Some days are hard, and others are extremely fulfilling. On some days, I do not eat properly and I'm not sure I can call it a fast. I fight my own addictions every day. I feed my spirit with His words and I cry a lot more regularly than I ever have - both happy and sad tears. I repent regularly too, for sins known and unknown, understanding that forgiveness and salvation come only through one entity - that is Jesus Christ.
With that, I implore you to read Colossians 2:8-10. Better yet...
As of this day, mid-July 2024:
I am without a permanent home, but I am not homeless - for I dwell in the House of the Lord. I am without employment or steady income, but I am not broke - for the Lord always provides. I am quite lonely and without many friends, but I am not alone - for the Lord is always with me. I attempt to live as a decent, Godly woman should, and I do not make plans anymore as I continue to fall short - for God's plan is mysterious and greater than any plan I could fathom. And I am THANKFUL for all of it.
I understand, see and hear more now than I did last year, but I don't KNOW much. I am a struggling baby in this universe. In this new life. And I pray I make it through.
Should you follow or stick around, you may expect:
new and different content here. Much of the old will remain as it may be essential to see as a growth factor. Eventually, it may fall away.
my Bible reviews and favorite scriptures and devotionals and other messages as the Lord sees fit.
to stretch out of the old and into the new body He has for you.
my consistent invitation for you to get close to Him with me. Tis the season.
oooh, looooove! never knew what I was missing... but I knew once we'd start kissing...
Again... I'm more open to love than I've been. I'm also more aware of what I want as a woman and less prone to settling for what seems good "on paper" as in, what one would think I'd want based on what they see and think about me. I know what I want. I know what I have and what I can create. I want to build stability in all the fairytale magic. Maybe this sounds like delusion or bullshit, but only if you're not a fairy ^_^ Because if you're a fairy (& even if you wouldn't want the same) you get it. Same Drugs and a couple's trip through wUnderland (It's been done before :)) & lake fire. That's a test of patience I'm going to have to stop thinking about for now, though it's a deepest desire...still.
After all the work I've put in to be who I am, I refuse to share continuous conscious or unconscious space with any being who does not FULFILL me divinely; personally; comfortably; emotionally; physically; intimately; passionately; mentally; attentively; comically; openly; honestly; fairly; sensually; silently; lyrically; directly; intentionally; motivationally; diligently; romantically; royally; strongly; greatly; creatively; confidently; carefully; knowingly; patiently; playfully; peacefully; faithfully; loyally; unconditionally & irrevocably, free... with love.
That's the way I love, forreal. I know I'm capable - I have done it again. I can do it again. I know that it exists because I've had it. And spirit said I could have it again. That's the love I give to myself everyday. I won't accept anything less from anyone who decides they may want to love me. That must means they are also loving themselves, eh?
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