dirk bikkembergs ss04
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@aoasime
dirk bikkembergs ss04

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Etched in the concrete, Houston TX
Hannibal Montannibal
the FBI struggles to catch the him because he wears a blonde wig when he goes hunting
iām so pumped to get my degree and then get tf out of texas. maybe even this god damn country. fuck the united states

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hot take -
the requirement of using āacademic languageā in discussions for class is low key gatekeeping
these past few days have been so rough for everyone :( iāve been out of state since yesterday for my grandmas funeral and my mom has been sad and anxious and iāve been trying to do school work and i have a big presentation wednesday and I hate public speaking :( my brother was watching dakota today while i did some work and i guess he fell and hit his face and his nose is so swollen and turning black and blue. then when i was getting ready to shower w him he slipped and fell into the tub w the shower running. he has been so crazy since we got here just constantly trying to get out of the hotel room or screaming running around like a crazy man so i missed out on the service today and most likely will tomorrow too bc he is so loud and wonāt stay still. i donāt know if he can tell that iām stressed and weāre in a new place so maybe thatās why he has been so wild itās just a lot. i atleast got a bulk of whatās due done, basically whatever is due tomorrow and my project but i have somethingās due on wednesday by midnight, i need to do notes bc i missed class, need to work on a discussion post and do some corrections for homework. iām getting into the thick of things where iām being graded on things like my actual work like papers and stuff thatās not so easy so idk if my grades are going to start changing cause i have straight aās right now just from doing tests. but i canāt really do anything to correct a paper (my peer reviews said that my paper was amazing and they wouldnāt change a thing) and for the presentation i worked hard on my research & presentation but I have never been good at public speaking. like i know my voice will shake and i will be a mess but worse case scenario i get so anxious i literally wonāt be able to get words out. iām just excited for wednesday to be be over with honestly. and today was hard mom day as well. i feel horrible when i snap at dakota cause i know he just wants to play and be loved and get my attention which is why he does things heās not supposed to bc thatās when i go pick him up or talk to him when iām doing homework bc it breaks my focus. i just have really had a hard few days :( i know itās all just a fleeting moment and in a week or two things will settle again. all i can do is try to do better. i did get a big ol tattoo recently lol which is cool and i love it. itās the biggest tattoo i have & the most expensive lmao. but itās also one of my most meaningful tattoos which makes me happy.
iām literally getting so stressed out over school not even bc i have so much to do but bc i feel like unless i am on top of certain teachers they fuck shit up and then i have to email them in every form and like get so much anxiety bc they arenāt paying attention to shit
hehe my first week of school is over woohoo ~ i have to work on saturday which kinda sucks bc i like my job but since i had covid i didnāt work for like a full almost 2 weeks & my next shift is w two girls who i havenāt met yet. idk if iām gonna keep my job or not bc if i do i have to find daycare for koko on the weekend which would be out of my pocket which would mean iām simply working to afford the care he will need the days iām working lmao besides just daycare during the week. also that would mean not seeing him for even more time :( bc rn i have 5 classes and for the first few weeks itās gonna be in person and online but as long as covid doesnāt get crazy all my classes except one will be in person so iāll be spending all day at school & koko will have to be in daycare basically all day. so if i work on weekends then he will need a sitter and thatās just so much time apart & for whaaaat ya know. life is good though, iām never on here anymore bc tiktok has taken over my life in terms of social media lmao. and pinterest is my go to now for anything aesthetic related. if anyone even reads this, do you guys looove euphoria bc i LOOOVE EUPHORIA. rue is probably the character i relate to the mostā¦for obvious reasonsā¦also i have an appointment w my psychiatrist on the 26th and iām hoping she will be able to help me get something for this project thatās due the very first day we meet in person for my frameworks class and i hate public speaking w all my heart. iām like maybe just a cute lil kpin or a baby xan pls and then i hopefully will not lose my shit in front of these ppl that iām just now seeing for the first time -_- so far iāve only been to my math classes in person and i really like that class even tho iāve been behind in math since the 8th grade bc i moved in the middle of the school year, i like low key really like math. itās like a puzzle once you know what ur doing. and i need all Aās (maybe a b but preferably all aās) or else iām gonna have to like take the classes over again bc nursing major w a minor in women and gender studies 0:-) which is my 2nd fave class rn <3 during our zoom meeting ppl kept leaving the class & i couldnāt help but feel like itās bc they donāt want to learn about feminism and gender & all that stuff that is literally so fascinating!! life has been good tho :) iām supposed to go out with some ppl saturday night when i get off work & idk if iām looking forward to it that much mostly bc the last time i got drunk i was viciously hungover the next day to the point that i could barely move and i tried drinking lots of water & eating but nothing helped and i have to do some school work sunday so i rlly gotta be more chill this time around or else i will 100% regret it. okay iām gonna try & sleep now. night night
Prunus Cerasus (Cherry).
Hand coloured engraving with gouache (1788-1812).
Taken from āIcones Plantarum Medicinaliumā by Joseph Jakob Plenck ( Austrian, 1738ā1807 ).
Image and text courtesy MIA.

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come to the dark side š
https://pin.it/16NlbTZ
See what madison (a0asime) has discovered on Pinterest, the world's biggest collection of ideas.
iām not like other gals
my brain hurts from all the thinking to day -_-
i wish i could send this to my ex!!!!! if you ever see this nick i hate you :)

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itās so incredibly unfair how dylan was doing better and was sober when he died BC of drugs and the damage they did to his body, but other people get to use and be ACTUAL shitty fucking people and live on. and say the ~hope~ they die. like fuck you. you truly donāt deserve to fucking be here. and dylan did and if yāall could switch places i would do anything for that to happen. that sounds shitty but oh fucking well.