hiii! I was wondering if u could do kuroo x vb! reader, has anger issues esp when she can't do drills properly, which is a big thing for her as nekoma wvt captain hehe
a/n: yes ofc this is a cute idea!! i'll make it established relationship + angst here and there but comfort at the end <3 this is my very first request so hah im so scared rn hopefully you like it!! kuroo unfortunately only shows up in the end part bc i wanted to add as much context as possible about reader. so sorry about that :(
also my sweetest wife bsf darling pookie helped me out with making this as realistic as possible and writing the intro so @puppicino tytytyty and ilysm
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crash outs and calm downs. (tetsuro kuroo x vb!reader)
the alarm was too loud. the sun was too bright. the room was too cold. your mom's tone was too obnoxious. this day was off to a brilliant start.
by 2nd block, you were officially done with this school. this country. heck, this whole universe. it seemed that everything today was just working to piss you off. your friends were talking too much, your teacher was speaking way too slowly, and... had that guy always had such a punchable face? to make matters worse, one of your friends decided to interrupt your mental spiral, her stupid oh-so-chipper voice cutting through like a knife. "yn-chan, could you help me out with this question? it makes no sense, and you're really good at explaining stuff-" "could you please just not? not right now," you snapped, your eyes wide with frustration. she startled before mumbling a soft apology and turning to the side. you were being a brat. you knew that. but you could not find it in yourself to care. you spent every other day putting up with this, smiling through the anger you could physically feel building up in you, laughing even when all you wanted was so hit something, anything. this was fair. well, not really. but god forbid you show your true emotions for once. putting it simply, you needed this day to be over. preferably right now.
once the school day ended, you thought your troubles would stop. after all, volleyball was your outlet for your anger. what you wouldn't let out through words or actions you'd let out through every powerful serve, strong spike, precise set, and perfect receive. and though you'd only intended to join the team for that purpose, you ended up falling in love with the sport, and somehow, you'd become team captain. of a team that went to nationals last year and was absolutely on track to get first in the tokyo prefecture again. and somehow, you'd fallen in love with the team as well. they accepted you for who you were, seen a breakdown or two, and supported you even through those.
however, your patience and love for them would not be on display today. because for some strange reason, your body had simply decided to forget how to play this sport. in a simple receiving drill, you'd shanked 4 balls. one of which was a free ball. in a setting drill, the ball had slipped through your hand and hit the top of your head, a mistake you hadn't made since you started playing in junior high. for hitting, you made contact with the ball every time, but it hardly ever went where you wanted it to go. it was a line shot when you wanted a cross shot. it went out when you wanted a line shot. it went out when... you don't even remember. nothing was going your way. and sure, in your mind, you knew that everyone had off days. this wasn't the first time for you either. but this was ridiculous. all of this happening today? ridiculous. your teammates trying to laugh it off and pat you on the back? even more ridiculous. you didn't need to be treated like a child with their sympathy. it only made you feel worse. you were a team captain, for goodness' sake. not a first year trying out with zero experience. and here your team was, giggling as though it didn't mean anything.
at last, practice reached the scrimmage portion, where you were certain you'd redeem yourself. everything else might've failed, but your serves wouldn't. you were certain of that. you walked up to the line to serve, bouncing the ball once, then twice, then thrice. you took a deep breath, as you always did, tossed the ball high into the air, and approached. the second you contacted the ball, you knew something was off. its trajectory seemed promising at first, but then you heard some voice call, "out!", and indeed, it landed out. bounced a few times before rolling and hitting the wall. a teammate came up to you, smiling kindly, but you could see the concern in their eyes. you didn't miss serves. it was just a thing. and yet it happened. "yn-chan, don't worry about it! you're all good!"
but that was the issue. you weren't 'all good'. so you didn't grace her with a response, instead shrugging her hand off and heading back into your position to receive.
soon enough the treacherous practice was over, but you were going to stay. you'd decided that the second you missed that serve. so you borrowed the keys from your coach and waited not-so-patiently as everyone left the gym. you pulled the ball cart right next to you as you practiced your serve. again. and again. and again. the next thing you knew, your serve was received perfectly on the other side of the net. you almost screamed in anger, until you saw who it was: tetsuro. your boyfriend. the one who stuck with you all these years.
your breakdowns didn't scare him anymore. sure, it was a pretty major problem when you'd first started dating. and before that. and even after that. but you'd worked hard to overcome it: you attended therapy, began opening up more to him, developed a whole calm down system, the whole thing. but that didn't mean you were immune to them. especially not today. he immediately scanned your face, body language, the fist you were clenching hard enough to leave marks. and didn't say anything. he simply grabbed your water bottle, filled it up with the cold water fountain on the right because he knew the left one gave warmer water. and that wasn't what you wanted right now.
he came back quickly, wordlessly waiting until every ball was out of the cart before handing you a towel and your bottle. he then began his second job: tearing down the net and picking up every ball. all while you sat at the bench, taking small sips as sweat dripped down your face and the exhaustion finally caught up with you. once he returned, he immediately pulls you into his arms, not caring about the sweat - and now tears - staining his shirt. "let it out... i'm here for you." you were a complete mess in his arms, yet he didn't care. he just kept holding you, stroking your hair, whispering the soft affirmations you needed.
"it's okay to not be okay."
"you're doing your best. that's all anyone can ask for."
"if you think this makes me love you any less, you're damn wrong, sweetheart."
but he also knew how to be honest with you. to snap you out of the lies and excuses your mind loved to feed you. but to do it all with so much love and gentleness.
"your friends talked to me earlier. it's not alright to snap like that, alright, love? but they're not mad at you, you know that? so don't beat yourself up for it."
"from one team captain to another, i'm telling you, it's completely normal to feel like this. but talk to me. or coach. or whoever you wanna talk to. don't keep it all inside. please?"
"so many people care for you, and i know for a fact you mean the world to me. i love you, and don't let you tell yourself otherwise, got it?"
and by the end of it, you were smiling weakly but contentedly, breathing stable, head resting on his shoulder, feeling safe knowing that no matter how bad the crash outs got, he'd be there to calm you down.
"now, let's get my pretty girl up and laughing again, alright?" that was his only warning before he carried you up with him, causing a surprised giggle to slip out of you. "there she is," he murmured softly. that practically flipped a switch within him, his warm, charming grin immediately breaking out, bright and refreshing like the sun after pouring rain. because that was what he was in your life. the thing as sure as the morning sun. as warm as its rays. as patient and constant as the day.
this didn't mean you'd never crash again. you absolutely would. probably over and over again. but you would keep trying, growing, and working to make it a little better each time. and the whole journey, you could know with confidence that he'd be by your side. always.
a/n: i lwk hate this now 🫠 fah it's like i only remembered him at the very end. too much context not enough everything else im so sorry