Welcome to the Asylum!

Caleb

The day was shit.

No no, I mean SHIT.

Did you know wanderers had guts? Maybe so, but didn't that mean they had a food-digestion system then? I mean, that's how it goes. But no one knows what wanderers eat anyway, BUT IT SMELLS AWFUL WHEN THEY EXPLODE ALL OVER YOU.

And why did you have to deal with the goddamn nerd of the Wanderer evaluation data control sector fussing over you because it was a BIG discovery?

Also, the building's electricity went off due to a metaflux, so you were smelly, AND STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR WITH HIM FOR 2 HOURS.

So yeah, the day was bad. Bad enough that now you are sitting on the shower (there's a in built tile stool to shave legs, don't worry, it's not bad enough to sit on the floor 💔).

And like, hey girly...

You do be mad, but you're also mad horny too 🤞🏽🤞🏽

So your hands travel down to your body, groping where you like.

You really wanted a massage tho...

But Caleb wasn't here, which adds to the frustration, you sexy Colonel childhood sweetpie wasn't here to bend you over and massage your calf. (or bending over too that would be so neat 😔*sighhhh)

Your body relaxes more and more under your own ministrations, the hot water, your hands, and finally your back, hitting the wall aching for some rest.

And most importantly, that wanderer shit smell is LEAVING

You sighed and closed your eyes

...

When you opened your eyes again you see Caleb looking at you like this

LIKE WHAT? WHY IS YOU HERE? WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

He stares at you for one moment, he's crouching in front of you, a bit wet from the shower (dumbass didn't turn it off)

"What... I dozed off," you said, already coming up with an explanation.

"Pipsqueak..."

"I hate you"

"Baby, wait!-" That goofy bitch called for you as you leave butt naked.

He has the decency to offer to continue where you left but you just stare at him like you're dead inside.

6/10 teased you the next day and actually busted out laughing, saying he thought you were dead after jorking your bean.

Kablow him. Please.

Sylus

Having a uterus was NOT for the weak, chat

PMS week, where you feel like a bitch, and you cry when you drop your keys at your doorstep.

And now you currently can't sleep either, even though your body is so damn tired.

At least your favorite magaka just updated your fave bara yaoi so yeah

Jorking time fellas 😎

Your pants? Gone. Your phone? Ready.

But this week it seemed that the author wanted to make the chapter more lore-heavy, so instead of rubbing the bean you just playing with your pubes like damn man

But at some point, the manga is reading you cuz u long gone

And THAT'S when the Onycunterson Sylus decided to come back home too 😤🙄

So he was a bit shocked to see you hand on your pants, phone in hand looking like a star fish in bed like 😭😭😭😭

He doesn't wake you, but he does regret checking out what you were reading

Did not expect to see a hairy dick and a hairy asshole this early 💀

7/10 lets you sleep, but he lost points because he said that your old man yaoi looked ugly :[ THEY ARE VERY DEAR TO ME SYLUS LEAVE THEM ALONE.

Zayne

So u had arrived a bit earlier from work

a "little reward" according to Jemna, but the week was HELL

Wanderers spawning left and right, the fleet was cockblocking your job and EVER was being a bitch as always

Like every complication that could happen, happened.

So after a shower you didn't even bother to eat anything just falling flat on your bed

I mean your and Zayne's bed

Dude

no i'm fr now

THINK ABOUT SOMEONE WHO SMELLS DIVINE

not just his perfume, cologne no no no

like i swear man you just need to just grab him and smell his armpits

like i promisse you it will change ur life

I'M NOT CRAZY

but yeah you're only human man

with a scent kink perchance?

Your hands just... get a life on their own, you know?

But fellas don't jork it with your eyes closed while you're tired

or else you'll wake up to this:

Gets more worried than find it funny

will laugh if you laugh tho but he just looks at you worried

BUT OFC HE'S HAPPY TO HELP

All worried in one moment but will jump your bones like foxy fazzbear if you say you want him.

Rafayel

I will not even glaze much fellas

When you fall asleep mid jorking it he will just

Dumb ass fish 😒

Will look like a soggy wet puppy when you just refuse to let him help you

You gotta be strong tho

Because he offers to massage your tired muscles and MAN 😭😭😭😭😭

HIS HANDS ARE SO GOOD AT IT

REFUSE HIM. HE LAUGHED AT YOU. YOU MUST RESIST HIS CHARMS!

I KNOW HE'S CUTE BUT BRO 😭 HE'S MEAN ABOUT IT

4/10 I couldn't resist him 😔

Xavier

He was home, but he was like dead asleep beside you

You two have been working so hard lately, and things are a bit tense between you two after the latest Traceback team stuff (No spoilers here, don't worry)

So yeah, I mean

You can't just "Hey, pookie, can I suck yo dick and lick your balls?" DUDE HE JUST LOST EVERYTHING CHILL 😭😭😭😭

It didn't feel right ngl so you just... deal with it yourself

(And bf yall nasty asses say something, you two didn't talk about somno yet WE HAVE BOUNDARIES IN THIS BLOG)

But man, Xavier just has this sleepy gravitational pull

You weren't going very far your eyes were very heavy

But for a man that sleeps like a rock, HE SURELY HAD A 6TH INSTINCT FOR SEX

Your soul abandoned you quicker than yo momma when that man just

"What are you doing?"

Having a heart attack baby, don't worry 😘😘😘😘😍😍😍

Freakatron2000 best in linkon shit

He knows what you're doing, he's just being a goof

"Itching my balls, Xavier." you just deadpanned with your heart still running a mile

"...Mine itch too."

"OH MY GOD YOU DID NOT-"

8/10 helped you with your needs, lost points for having ZERO RIZZ and lost aura points.

Based on something that happened to me, but luckily I didn't get caught, I just sat there thinking how much this stupid diploma is costing me (my gooning time bruh)

BUT YEAH GOON BUT ALSO SLEEP FELLAS HAVE A NICE DAY