I am writing this because as a person who has studied and given a lot of thought (too much thought probably) to Joe Strummer; I may be able, to some extent, explain why Joe had a difficulty keeping relationships. As well as give you a new perspective to the human in him, for he was not only an icon, but a human as well. So consider this.
(Disclaimer: this is merely a theory of mine based on all I’ve learnt about him coupled with my knowledge in psychology)
As many of you know, Joe grew up mostly away from home and as he himself admitted; he decided (probably as a defense mechanism) to create a detachment from his parents.
In psychology terms, child neglect is a type of maltreatment related to the failure to provide needed care to a child. This could’ve been what Joe and his brother David faced growing up away from home. Child Neglect can lead to an adulthood of difficulty creating relationships, as well as effects such as; anxiety, dissociation and depression. Many children who face neglect often grow up believing they are unworthy of being loved or not knowing what love is.
In 1970 David Mellor, Joe’s older brother, had become increasingly withdrawn and subsequently committed suicide, an event that Joe would describe as the “worst day of his life.” Could David’s depression, perhaps, be rooted from the negligence he faced growing up? It is likely.
Joe, on the other hand had a reason to live: his passion for music.
However he could’ve been, too, subconsciously affected by the things that drove David off the edge.
In many interviews he mentioned how phony love songs were to him, and by his increasing number of girlfriends/affairs, it doesn’t take a genius to realize he was disillusioned with the idea of love.
Supposing that I am correct, then it makes sense that he cheated so much; he didn’t feel affection for his girlfriends so he didn’t see the flaw in sleeping with other girls. This however, does not mean he deemed them all as insignificant, or that it was entirely his conscious doing. Perhaps it was his subconscious need to find the affection he craved as a child, looking for it in carnal ways and finding only temporary fulfillment.
In the song Rebel Waltz he mentions how he saw “his only one” in a dream. This points to Wish Fulfillment, which according to Freud, is our unconscious repressed desire becoming a reality through our dreams.
Thus, in Freudian terms, all Joe really wanted was to feel love, yet what was love? In one interview he describes romantic relationships as something you “have to deal with.” Chances are he didn’t really know what romantic love felt like.
In the late 1980s Joe became depressed, specifically around the time he was working on his first solo album “Earthquake Weather.”
If you pay attention to certain songs you see right through him, right through the rockstar and into the man inside.
“Nobody really thinks about you when you’re gone.”
“Suppose I should drag my stuff on out, but I don’t like the memories.”
What do you call that? Sexism? Naiveness? No, it is merely someone who was hurt but too proud to admit to it, someone who grew up alone and probably felt that way many times, even in the company of others.
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