Chronophobia

when i was a child i thought ‘male enhancement’ pills just made you a better guy. they made you pleasant to be around. the man on the commercial had a big smile on his face and they made a point of how happy his wife was and everyone loved him. this is honestly what i thought

if only

We maybe have a ghost in our house that has popped up since we’ve had work done on the walls, and random stuff keeps happening but something keeps opening my hamsters cage and leaving it open so I’ve just had to explain to thin air what a hamster is because as my sister pointed out, my house is old af and my ghost probably doesn't know what a hamster is, I’m also leaving it a note in the hopes it can read. 

Confused ghost just wants to pet the soft.

had a dream that i was getting sorted at hogwarts but i got into an argument with the sorting hat so he made up an entirely new house called ‘GrungleBunk’ just so i would be forced to sit by myself in the dining hall for the rest of my life