danger up ahead.

they had tried to wrestle him to bed. all three men, individuals he had handpicked to accompany him for the nights festivities. they had fought each of his liquor filled limbs valiantly but to no avail as they were experiencing the same symptoms. the most they had managed to do was corral him into the kitchen and then proceeded to make their exit, leaving toni to fend for himself. although he was vaguely of his surroundings and the time of night, it did not stop him from loudly crashing around like a bull in a china shop as he attempted to maneuver himself around the kitchen. even with his head buried in a kitchen sink, icy water caressing his soaked dark hair, the world refused to stop spinning. 

Exclusive Interview with The Rank veteran Antonio Navas

from the man who brought you the vodka fountain, the nude fashion show, and almost fathered the first rank baby, antonio navas gives us a sneak of what to expect from him on this season of the rank.

lia: are you tho

lia: anytihng

toni: yes I am very fun for example I'm making a cheeseburger with pancakes as buns rn so fight me

lia: you're nio fun you know

lia: will you get me some?

toni: take that back I'm very fun

lia: woanna be my daddy folr the night?

lia: just got mxy heart broken so i guzess wuhy not have somne crgazy awesome sjex

toni: i don't think u need the kind of daddy u have in mine rn I think u need the 'get u some water and make sure u sober up' daddy rn

bea: toni can i tell you a tell you something, woman to man

bea: shut the fuck up

bea: useless baby

bea: don't answer a mass text of mine ever again

toni: i don't understand what gender has to do with this conversation #it's2k18 #equality

toni: omggg chill out fam take a pill or join me for a few shots

LIA: yyou know osmtiemes i hante you for being you

LIA: but then i remember you're yuo and sit's hrafd tjo hate you because vi looooooove yomu

LIA: ojust thoughut you should know that i appreciate bu afs a person even though ur a dick somemteis

toni: oh I love it when u quote my dad

bea: no dumb ass if i mean literal shit i would say 'champagne and actual shit'

bea: stop questioning a good thing

bea: come get it

toni: theres no need for such offensive language I'm a very sensitive dumb ass

toni: good things don't happen to me thats why I'm questioning it

bea: first one to the chateau marmont gets the suite i just got comped i don't want it

bea: free champagne and shit

bea: all yours, i'll be in the lobby looking annoyed

toni: I should be concerned that u don't want it but I have 0 concern over my life so I'm going for it

irritation was written across ardeth’s features, clear in the way her lips were pursed and her jaw clenched. her phone was set down on the table in front of her and it was clear by the look she was directing at it that it was the source of her ire. but it was fine. rather, it would be. just because the producers said this week’s guest cancelled on her ( last minute, again ) wasn’t the end of the world. she would find someone new. she would fix it. she always did.

she looked up, her eyes landing on the person closest to her. a pensive expression crossed her face before she cleared her throat. “ do you want to be on good morning glory this friday ?? ” she would never admit how much it pained her to have to ask this — after all, she couldn’t say she was all too fond of the rest of her rank co-stars ( it was too soon to tell truthfully ) “ we could use someone to sit in for a ten minute segment. you could talk about whatever — i really don’t care at this point. ” 

with a laptop propped up on his lap, anyone who glanced at toni would assume he was doing work or something serious, but really he was just playing the snake game with extreme intensity. whenever he would lose, he would casually glance at ardeth and it didn’t take him long to realize she wasn’t in the greatest of moods. he was interested to know what was bothering considering she was his client and every once in a while he considered her his friend, however, she was on the phone and he figured it was best to wait. 

when she finally adressed him, he looked up from the screen now knowing what had caused her to be upset. he thought about her question for half a second before nodding his head, “of course, there’s simply not enough cameras on my face and i can’t fall asleep until i’ve gotten the attention i deserve.” her words sparked his interest as he realized she would quickly regret ever asking him. “oh, can i talk about that one time this girl refused to have sex with me unless we listened to stewie from family guy singing everything i do on repeat?” 

rhett tapped his knuckles on the open door before taking a small step into the room, an easy smile on his face. his hands rested in the pockets of his jacket as he leaned on the frame of the door. “ there’s a new club opening about fifteen minutes from here — tonight, actually ” he shrugged his shoulders, casually indifferent “ ‘ was wondering if you’d wanna come with me ?? it’s publicity for the show and club, plus it could be fun – ”

toni didn’t give a second thought to the knocks on his door as it was something he had grown accustomed to. “come in i’m not naked, unfortunately for you.” when he realized it was rhett who had walked in, a grin formed on his lips. “SAY LESS!” he exclaimed at the others proposition. he jumped out of bed with newfound excitement and walked to one of the various suitcases scattered all over the floor. on his knees, toni opened up the suitcase, reached for the bottle of vodka inside and handed it to rhett, “here, chug this while i get changed.” there was very little one had to say to toni to convince him to go out, and rhett most definitely knew that. he reached for the nearest suitcase to take out a new shirt that he thought would scream ‘fuck me’ and a jacket, “what do you think?” he asked rhett as he held up the items of clothing, wanting his input before he changed. 

      “ alright if you’ll excuse me, i’ve been TRYING to unpack & rearrange this place for about TEN hours & frankly … you’re in my way. ” she said with a huff, rolling her eyes as she neatly folded some of her clothes & put them on top of the dryer after washing them from the move. “ did you know that this place has about … i don’t know SEVEN other places you can be ? i’m seriously trying to concentrate but you’re making it IMPOSSIBLE to do. ” 

yo, this is eli aka the pimp daddy mac of this whole place and I'm here to have a good time and question every decision I make.. holla !! id like to take a hot second to introduce u to the man, the myth, the mistake.. antonio navas. you can read his bio here but I’ll also include some terribly written bullet points under the read more for ur pleasure :) alright its lit