Anon sys

We broke up with our partner almost a week ago. Half of the system didn't want a relationship which ended up being one of the main reasons we broke up.

We start our second college semester in 6 days, really nervous but excited nonetheless!

This month we are going to try and get a referral to a psychologist and hopefully get a full mental evaluation done, unfortunately though it will be hard because we don't have a job anymore and may not have the money to go.

We picked up oil painting as a fun hobby! We've already made 2 paintings, they'll take awhile to dry though. :')

We met a wonderful person who we can now happily say is our partner, and thankfully they took the news about us being a system very well. They've actually been with a system before, so it wasn't a big deal.

Our last exam for the semester is today, and a five year old has been the only one studying for it. :')

We're going to try and see a psychologist sometime this month or next month to get a psychological evaluation and potentially try and see a specialist who specializes in dissociative disorders. Our mother is finally listening to us which is, thankfully, making all of this possible.

Our communication lately has been amazing clear. Knocking on wood so I dont jinx it, but seriously! Usually it's like trying to listen to what another alter is saying while underwater and behind a glass wall, but recently we've been having full blown conversations, completely clear and understandable.

The only things we can't all seem to get a hold of is what to eat literally any time of day, but that's fairly normal for us anyways.

The last time we opened up about being a system to someone who wanted to date us, they reacted very negatively and gave up on us there and then. Because of this, I'm nervous to bring up the fact that we are a system. It's so hard to relive a situation that has a 50/50 chance of being good this time, or being as bad as last time.

Dissociation the past few weeks has been through the roof. It's been really hard to focus, and it's been difficult trying to recall past events.

Because of the dissociation, it's been harder to keep track of who's fronting. I know that someone younger keeps coming in and out of front because I'll pop in, and I'll see we have our stuffed dog with us. I'm under the impression that someone older has been fronting with the little, but I can't be sure.

We had a really bad split a while ago and ended up splitting a fictive of an OC we made for a minecraft server. It's been interesting trying to communicate with them. They seem almost apathetic in a way, not really displaying emotion or treating people in a friendly manner. They keep referring to people as "clients" or "customers," something I'm trying to get them to realize isn't very kind.

An old host did this whenever the vibe felt even the slightest bit off, which led to hs believing we had, quite literally, 10 times the number of parts we actually had. And though that host is no longer here, we still find a bit of trouble with that being our first thought.

I feel we've made significant progress with Integration! Even if the progress isn't too far, this is still huge for us because our amnesia barriers have been really high for the past 2 months, but now I feel we've made good progress with breaking those barriers down and communicating. :)

The only problem is, now we're discovering more parts. We're hoping the count isn't too high, but it's not looking great :'(

A few of our parts who've been here longer than me have suggested that we try using Simply Plural, or even Plural Kit on discord since we talk to our friends on there, and I am considering it. It looks very complex, but I agree with them and think it may be useful!

We're also considering turning this blog into one where our parts can post and stuff, but we also want to be careful about privacy so we aren't too sure what will happen. We may just keep the anon-sys title and use this as an actual system blog, but who knows!

For us, the old host used it a lot for making profiles for known parts. I personally haven't used it or looked at it yet because I don't know how it would be of help other than making profiles for known parts.