strugglin luvs

wait wait i'm not done— it's 1:31pm the next day

i'm so fried right now and i know that on the first read it appears to be about physical death

but i made this thinking of immortality or otherwise another kind of living stagnation and the countless times we'll be "pruned" throughout our lives; how being alive is just a cycle of dying over and over and i know that's not a novel concept but ✋😭✋

i suppose the horror and cruelty is of the past existing simultaneously with the present, and the bereavement — the identity crisis — of knowing you'll never fit in your old skin, in that old world, again. the feeling of being left behind by time, but also how maybe you're the one leaving time behind, by virtue of growing older.

i will never be Flowdia, Seyfried's first love, again. i am Flowdia, matriarch of Armoroad. and Seyfried's physicality represents golden days long gone. the same could be said about Gutrune. how do we reconnect over the gorge that formed over the course of 100 years?

how do we restore the severely misaligned vertebrae threatening to sever nerves?

how do i become Flowdia, Seyfried's first love, again?

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a very loose, passing idea Marty originally floated in 2022. we stewed in it for a while until we dabbled with the concept again for a school plate, the post of which still exists on the blog but don't go looking for it it's old

it's grown so much since then from the handful of personal pieces we made after, and it's very exciting to see it get sculpted and realized after all this time 🥹 the members of the Armoroad court have definitely become WB's babies, which is a surprise to both of us

not one to announce, but i'm also on bsky under the same name and will just put stuff up there as i originally scheduled here. hopefully the ban lifts soon though, and i can dump any backlog i may have back into the queue