I finally had enough of that cocky football asshole last night. He had been terrorizing our water polo team for weeks, swallowing a few of the guys and proudly shitting them out right in our pool like it was some kind of joke. At the frat party, we were both hammered after way too many rounds of beer pong. He was talking his usual shit, flexing and calling us pool boys, when I just grabbed his head and forced it down my throat.
The swallow was awkward as hell with all the beer in us. He was drunk and sloppy, half-fighting and half-laughing, slurring a muffled voice in my throat, something like “what the fuck, freshman, you can’t handle this” while I struggled to get his wide shoulders down. The boys around the table were cheering and yelling, “Go for it, bro,” and “Dump that fucker.” Took forever, but I finally forced all 300 pounds of him down. My gut ballooned out huge, practically dwarfing me. I passed out right there next to the beer pong table.
My best friend shook me awake late this morning. He was rocking his own fat, bloated gut. The second I sat up, a massive booming fart ripped out of my cheeks, vibrating the floor for at least a minute. “Fuck, bro... he’s coming out right now,” I groaned. My friend laughed and said, “Same here, man, I got one of the lacrosse guys last night!" The house is absolutely destroyed, there are shit piles everywhere, packed with skulls and whole skeletons, truly a "shitty" afterparty.
He helped me up, and we stumbled to the bathroom. I dropped my pants and sat on the toilet while he squatted over the edge of the bathtub. We both started pushing hard at the same time. Long wet farts filled the room as thick heavy logs started sliding out, stretching our holes wide. I was grunting loudly while the football player’s remains crackled and dropped into the bowl. “God damn, he’s thick...” I moaned. My bro was struggling next to me, pushing out his lacrosse guy into the tub. We were both rock hard, unknowingly jerking ourselves off while we kept shitting. The smells, the sounds, the feeling, watching each other push out these massive logs had us grinning like idiots the whole time.
I came first, shooting hard while that football fucks skull finally stretched me to the max and dropped into the overflowing toilet with a heavy thud. My bro finished right after, moaning loud as he filled half the bathtub.
Once we were both empty, I looked over at the disaster in the bowl, the football player’s skull sitting right on top of the pile like a trophy. I grinned at my friend and said, “Bro, take a pic of this for me. Gotta remember my first college meal.” He laughed and snapped this shot of me while I smiled hard, and I threw up the double thumbs.
That pic went viral across the university’s socials. Guess I’m the new unofficial freshman mascot now. Already packing on the freshman 15 from all the protein. Feels fucking good, man.
