i see right through me

Look who it is! If you take a look at our database, you’ll find that ANTOINETTE “ANNIE” ARMSTRONG is a FORTY TWO year old INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST that’s been in Chicago for TWO YEARS. According to the file, they are for mutants. That must be why they’re COMPASSIONATE and RECKLESS. If you ask me, they remind me of spools of red yarn, worn down spines of notebooks, and unspoken questions.They are affiliated with NO ONE. 

         “there is nothing wrong with the way that you’re raising her.” his voice is gentle, but insistent. “you give her the stability she needs.” are two parents ideal? certainly. but whether or not annie can see it herself, she has opened her daughter’s life up to people who are just as good. raul is far from the sort of person to toot his own horn, but he knows that he—regardless of his hidden monster—is not someone who’s going to steer anyone in the wrong direction. it’s a conscious choice that he makes. he can’t imagine, not even for a moment, that she would let anyone near odette that would. even so, he understands her torment. her inability to offer her daughter the exact understanding, the exact guidance, that she might need. annie is, after all, only human. for better or for worse, she can only truly approach with the perspective that she knows.

         raul sucks in a breath, trying to right his own expression. he’s not quite as successful as she is. it’s not that he’s unhappy with where things have gone—he knows that annie is not usually a vulnerable person, and appreciates that she trusts him with her doubts—but that it’s time for him to come in with something hard for him. obviously, annie isn’t blind. if she’s noticed his differences, she’s respected him enough not to bring them to attention… but given her choice in career, in education, it’s a stretch to assume that she wouldn’t. “it isn’t too much, annie. you know you can always come to me about anything.” and he means it from the bottom of his heart. “but… if you ever needed someone to consult with… about…” he trails off, grimacing. “well, i might understand a bit more than most.”

~

“I appreciate that, I do. Thank you.” The facade falls away again when Raul’s face doesn’t return from that serious, endeared expression. Maybe she had pushed it a little too far, or said a little too much. Her whole image of Super Mom had crumbled over a pile of mostly dry dishes, it was almost poetic in some odd sense. But, then the conversation turns on its head when Raul, in not so many words, confirms the suspicions that she had held about him. And, there is no vindication in being right, or even relief that she can stop ignoring the facts. It’s more like... hurt. Knowing that this is so hard for him, even with her, and how much of his shield he has to be giving up to willingly tell her this. 

The good thing about it was that it was also telling of the trust Raul had in her. Annie had only ever hoped to be a source of friendship to him, and she took this as proof she had done something right along the way. Still, she feels the need to say something. She pushes away the inclination to apologize, and goes another direction. “And... I hope you know that doesn’t change anythin’, right? If, uh— if Odette’s Dad isn’t around to help her with that kind of stuff... well, I can’t imagine anyone better to take up that torch. I trust you wholeheartedly. You’ll have a place here as long as you want one.” That spoke to more than just Odette. Or, at least she wanted it to speak to more than that. She just needed him to know that there would never be any judgement passed. She would always do her best to be a safe person for him, and be there to support in any way that she could.

         raul nods, continuing to wash up and pass the dishes off to her for drying. at this point, there’s not very much work left. team work really does make the dream work! “i’m only being honest, you know that. you’re a fantastic mother and shouldn’t let anyone, especially not yourself, try and convince you otherwise.” the self, of course, is the center of all doubt and that makes it insidiously difficult to get rid of. but if raul can offer something to try and boost the confidence of one of his closest friends, he would always take the opportunity. “but,” he continues, offering a warm smile; “you’re probably right about tabling that. we can’t destroy her faith in the world just yet. she should be a teenager before that happens, at least.”

~

“You know, I sometimes think maybe it was all my wishing and hoping and begging that things would be a little easier for her that makes things the way that they are.” Annie’s instinct is to cap the words, but she can’t find it within herself. “Two parents, a stable environment, a Mom who knew how to...” She trails off for a second, eyes sliding to the small leafy vine growing out of the crack along the side of the window. No doubt an Odette special. Her gaze then falls on Raul. He’s never explicitly said anything about being a mutant, but she’s gotten the feeling. Caught glimpses of sharper teeth when an Odette joke catches him off guard. She’s had her suspicions, but she’s always respected him too much to push. He’s the only one who has ever gotten that treatment from her. “Having someone in her life who knows how to help her with... everything.” Her eyes fall back on the plant growing out of her wall again, and drops the dish cloth. “She’s only got two more years to teenage-hood, though, so I guess I’m almost home free.” It’s halfhearted at best after that dump of feelings. She plops the dampened towel down on the countertop, and replaces her smile as best she can. Turning to Raul with a shake of her head, she offers a shy laugh. “I’m sorry, that was a bit much, wasn’t it? Who knew dishes got me all existential?”

         “exactly. i’m just helping to kill it faster,” he teases, bringing a wet hand up to flick water back in her face. clean water, mostly. from the faucet, not the sink. “even if i have to get prune-y fingers in the process. victory at any cost!” it’s the least he can do to entertain for a little while. annie has already done so much for him, even… without conversations on the obvious. she’s never explicitly pointed out his mutation, but she hasn’t needed to. it’s nice to be treated more like everyone else for once. even when he’s not. and he would hate to have to explain the reality of his condition and make her think he’s dangerous. would she? probably not. but the fear can’t help but persist nonetheless.

         raul glances briefly in her direction, sensing the bitterness in her tone. it doesn’t surprise him, it disappoints him—about the lack of support she’s been given, that is. it shouldn’t be as hard as it is to find good people to surround yourself with. “if you’re who she has to look up to, i almost think she doesn’t need one. you’re a good role model, annie. you’re raising her right.” but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t hard. she deserves better. odette does, too. “but, just in case… i can help teach her that adults are all terrible liars.”

~

It’s nice, Annie thinks, to have Raul around to be a role model for Odette. Even if he’s right, and she is what Odette needs, Annie’s too aware of the fact that she’ll never really be able to do it all for Odette. Without being a mutant herself, there’s a whole part of her Daughter’s life that she’ll never understand, and it hurts. But, there was also no time to let those cracks show around Odette. To her, Mom was a Superhero, doing it all, and giving her the best. To Annie? Well, she was stumbling around pitfalls at every turn, hoping she didn’t fall into one she couldn’t climb back out of.

“Thank you,” She says. Her voice is soft and almost contemplative. Like she’s really trying to process the compliment for what it’s worth, even if it doesn’t quite breakthrough the imposter syndrome that envelopes her. But the humor saves the day again, Annie letting out a surprised laugh at Raul’s suggestion. “You know, I think we ought to table that one, and come back to it? I think you’re much better suited to be a role model in other categories of her life, you know.”

         “not tied enough. you’re still insisting on drying them,” he teases, placing another dish beside annie so that she could do just that. his father had instilled in him the necessity of working with his hands—it’s easy to use the dish washer, but that also leaves too much time to be in his own head. not so big of a threat here and far from the usual lonely dinners he’s grown accustomed to, but just as necessary… maybe not just for him, either. as important as it is to take breaks from the monotony of life, sharing the task offers just as much relief. sometimes more, when the usual is to just take on the burden all by yourself. “but as long as you’re at least half enjoying yourself, i can accept that.”

         it’s nice that at least one person in his life can allow his help, if only partly. raul has always liked to feel needed. “you and me both. i’d much rather spend my night listening to the worst jokes i’ve ever heard than see whatever they’ve got on netflix these days.” and he means that genuinely! almost none of odie’s jokes have any recognizable humor to him, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t enjoy the effort she puts into it. “you’re probably right about that, too. we’ll have to figure out a plan for when she finally catches on to me.”

~

“Old habits die hard, Raul.” It’s a simple enough excuse that Annie uses as she swings the towel to give him a gentle thwack on the arm. It’s nice not doing this task all on her own, though, even though she won’t admit it for pride’s sake. But, having a friend around the house, even just for an evening, is a blessing of its own nature. “I’m not the one that’s going to get prune-y fingers from all that water, I’m having the best night I’ve had in months,” Annie observes as she runs the towel over the plate in front of her, and starts a pile of dishes to go away on the far corner of the counter.

Annie breathes a laugh at that, and nods in agreement. “Well, you know you have an open invitation over here. It’s nice to have you around, especially for Odette. She doesn’t exactly have a ton of male role models to look up to.” The lilt in her voice is unfairly bitter. Regret wraps its fingers around her heart and squeezes the minute it leaves her lips. It wasn’t the kind of topic that made for good conversation with guests. “I’m sure we can figure something out. She’s smart, sure, but still eleven. The two of us can pull the wool over her eyes, I bet.”

         smirking to himself, raul nudges annie with his elbow—the only part of his arm that he has free, given that he’s still dutifully washing the dishes. “i don’t have to do anything, annie. i’m doing them because i want to. besides… i did promise. what kind of person would i be if i didn’t keep my word?” having dinner with her has been a well-needed break from everything that’s been happening in his life. thalia is worrying him beyond belief with her vigilante streak, julian is worrying him because of his insistence on going back to essex, and… well, if he thought on it all for too long he’d end up dying young from an aneurism.

         “you’re not taking advantage of anything,” he continues, a breath of laughter escaping him. “but, if you insist…” raul plonks a wet dish on the onto the countertop beside her. “i suppose i can let you start with that.” there’s certainly nothing wrong with accepting a little help, after all. “you know i love seeing you and odie. wouldn’t miss a dinner with the two of your for anything.” yes, even odie and her terrible, immature ( obviously ) jokes.

~

“Well, you’ve got my hands tied there.” There’s an air of fake reluctance in Annie’s tone as she finally acquiesces to Raul’s insistence to help with the chore. Even as she takes up the mantle of drying some dishes. But, that’s mainly because she doesn’t want to sit and watch him clean. Her mind can’t handle that much stillness for that long without wandering in ways she cannot control. “I find drying dishes oddly therapeutic anyways. A task of instant gratification, really.” 

Annie breathes a laugh and nudges him back. “Well, it’s nice to have you around. It gets a little monotonous around here with just the two of us doin’ the same things every day.” It was one way to paint that picture. But, the way Annie preferred to present it at the end of the day. “Besides, I think she’s learned when I’m forcing a laugh. You can still fool her for a few more meals.”

“You know, you didn’t actually have to do the dishes, right,” Annie asks as she slots herself next to Raul with a drying rag. Odette had disappeared to her room the minute her task of clearing the table was complete. She feigned some sort of exhaustion after happily entertaining their new dinner guest for the past hour. Annie was just relieved that Raul had humored the kid through every playground tale and poorly delivered joke Odie had prepared. 

“At least let me dry some stuff, why don’t you? Otherwise, I’m gonna feel like I’m takin’ advantage of your kindness after making you sit through a meal with a middle schooler.” It was nice, though, to have another adult in the house. Even for just one evening. The weight didn’t feel as heavy with an extra set of hands holding it up. The thought made her chest tighten slightly, like most days when she thought about Odette’s Father, but she had learned how to keep the emotion off her face years ago.

“Truth be told, I’m not really sure. It was just messing around at first, but now I don’t know. We have this word, back home in Rio: it’s ‘saudade’. It’s for when you more than miss someone. For when you’re yearning for them and get hit with melancholy. That’s how I feel when I don’t see him for more than a couple of days.” Carina is still working through her trust and commitment issues; however, that doesn’t mean she can stop herself from feeling something for Davey. She’s always been a sensitive person who finds it hard to detach herself from certain situations and feelings. “Yeah, I hope she hasn’t left any bruises on my ribs. They might be weird to explain to photographers and the wardrobe department,” she laughs. Carina bumps Annie’s hip with her own, giving her a mischievous grin. “You should let me take you on one of my jobs sometime. I travel everywhere, so we could find you a nice Greek God or Goddess to hook up with, or a Parisian charmer, if that’s more your thing. Orrr! We could just sightsee and drink wine.”

         “every once in a while i manage to string together something sensible,” he half-jokes, nodding in her direction. “but i’m not surprised she’s inherited that. kids are almost never evil masterminds entirely on their own.” which isn’t to say they aren’t masterminds. children can be some of the most cunning forces that walk this earth… but usually those intentions are good, as they are with most adults. he doesn’t quite think mischief counts as evil, but then… he can’t truly imagine that either of them are capable of things like that. even throughout life’s tests, annie has seemed to stay strong in her principles and passed that onto her daughter.

         raul offers an innocent shrug of his shoulders. “flattery tends to get me places. always have to try.” as far as trickery goes, being swayed into being an entrepreneur is hardly the worst offense he can imagine—as long as nobody is hinging on his downfall, that is! “you’d be surprised! brick walls aren’t as maneuverable as you might think… even if i like to think i’m a little softer around the edges than that.”

“See, I’m gonna accept that as a compliment, only because you’re choosing to be friends with an evil mastermind, so I can’t be that good at it or you’re just as much of a mastermind as me.” She sends him a teasing look, good natured like all of their banter is. Raul seems trustworthy and level headed, someone Annie can have around her daughter without concern. He’s one of the few non parents in her life that is granted such a privilege, but he’s never done anything to prove her wrong.

         “only very rarely.” whenever david is given a positive reaction, he’s… conflicted. concerned, even. while some form acceptance is his goal, it’s not meant to be a healing moment. it’s a defeat. existence is an inevitable tumble into defeat. “yes, i think it’s better for them to know. most people refuse to recognize their own mortality without it.”

         “all eleven year olds are, i think. people like to underestimate them. that’s really what makes them dangerous.” sure, they’re not always smart. most times they aren’t, in fact. but they have an excuse—eleven years on earth isn’t a very long time, particularly when it takes five or six years to really be able to do much of anything on your own. the way raul sees it, they deal with that lack of experience better than a lot of adults. “oh, for sure. if you’ve got anyone doing your chores for you, you’re getting out ahead. i still have to do my own laundry after i get done with yours!” and his own dishes, and his own trash, and his own… well, every adult knows that song and dance. independence comes with a heavy workload as its price.

         raul barely manages not to snort into his drink. not because he doesn’t believe her, but because he does. she’s far from the type that are working at dailymail or buzfeed, after all. someone with integrity and a desire to actually tell it like it is. in other words, dangeorus! “oh, i believe you. i know that journalist magic of yours is better than most. and let’s be real, if i can be bamboozled by a few clickbait articles, you could probably convince me that the sky is actually purple.” and after a beat, “which is exactly why we’re going to pretend you’re not an accident waiting to happen. if it helps, aren’t we all?”

“Smart man, commentary like that will be what keeps you on her good side.” Though, with the relationship she had cultivated with Odette, something akin to a partnership in certain ways, Annie knew her kid was smart. And underestimated. Still barely a middle schooler, but smart on that sliding scale, no doubt. The nagging thought of her having to grow up too fast already slipped into Annie’s mind, but she forced it out in favor of keeping the smile on her face. “I am an evil mastermind in my own way. Odette has to get it from somewhere.” 

         “it doesn’t matter if i tell them or not. i still know.” she doesn’t ask, and yet the answer still sits like a fishbone caught in the back of his throat. he can’t ignore it even if he tries—at least speaking it aloud gives it another place to live that isn’t his own mind, if just temporarily. “and i think they have the right to know, too.”

“Listen, no one ever said it was going to be easy, but it’s not impossible.” The insurmountable thing about being a father, being a parent was the thought that you have to do it for them even when the odds are stacked against them all. Love was a bedrock that he could find solace in, even let himself understand, but bringing up a mutant child with abilities when they aren’t in puberty is almost as hard as managing it.

Annie doesn’t look at him, and that’s alright. He doesn’t offer a hand, or put an arm around her, but simply is there, which he hopes she appreciates; she seems like she needs more help than she lets on, though that might just be him on high alert about it all. Being a parent to a mutant is hard work, especially if they weren’t a mutant themselves. At the comment about being prepared, though—Will lets out a surprised laugh. “Oh, I wasn’t. Not in the slightest.” It would have been a perfect world, but Will is all too aware of how it works. “There was… adjustment, and we—well, at least Gabby made it through okay. Though, I am taking you up on the produce; might even make a dish when you come by!”

~

Annie pushes off a meltdown, because, as comforting as his words are, she can’t shake the feeling of failure that hangs over her like a heavy cloud. She watched her own Mom struggle to raise four kids by herself once her Dad left, and she was older than Odette by then. Annie had been flying solo since she was ten weeks along with her daughter, and that was what had made it all feel so much more difficult. “You’re right. You are. I just hope I’m doing... I don’t know, good enough.” Annie wanted to be great, but that felt impossible, even if her kid didn’t have the ability to create plants on a whim.

         “now there’s a plan. as long as we keep her happy, and the doors closed… i think we’ll be safe from those evil unicorn minions of hers. at least until she figures that she can just open the door for them.” raul smirks into his drink, shrugging a shoulder. “that was my hope all along, that you’d go for something else. not many people like laundry, but nobody likes taking out the trash.” still, better than having it accumulate. even for the average person, that leaves a smell that’s too horrible to live in. how some people do manage it… he’ll never understand. their noses must be fried from living in it for so long. “hey, the two of us have to stick together don’t we? if we don’t, those stuffed animals will just pick us off faster.” but of course, he would ( and does! ) trust her for more than just imaginary monsters. she’s one of his closest friends and if it came down to it, he would take a bullet for her.

         “uh oh,” he starts, biting back another smirk. “that sounds like you’re going to use your journalist magic on me. should i be worried?” as far as raul is concerned, she’s as persuasive as she is because she’s a fundamentally good person. and a smart one, too. no magic necessary! “i can’t blame you for that. i don’t think i’d want to admit it, either.”

“She’s too smart for her own good. It won’t give us a lot of time, but it’s better than nothing.” Annie clicks her tongue, and leans back in her seat. Out smarted this time, but she’s make a point to see it not become a habit of his to win in wits. She was competitive after all. “Well played. I still feel like I got a better deal seeing as the trash only takes a couple of minutes as opposed to twenty minutes of folding and sorting, but I commend you for getting off so easy.” Annie’s a pushover, really. He’d get off easy one way or another. “Very true, we make a good team. It would be a crime to separate us.” The trust she has in Raul borders on intimidating. She’s aware that he’s worthy of such trust, but to find that in another person is a rare thing. She’s grateful for him. 

         “something like that.” there’s never enough distraction to truly pull david away from the cacophony of death, but it’s easier to ground himself in the present if he gives himself something else to focus on. discomfort is an easy answer. feels deserved, too… but that’s neither here nor there. “my mistake, then. i’m not very good at humor, either.”

         “you’ve got a point there. maybe we’ll be safe if we close a few doors.” of course, stuffed animals are the least of their worries, closed doors or not. as long as odette doesn’t throw one in to join the dirty dishes ( bit old for that, he would think ) they should be just fine. and even then, if he’s doing laundry anyway… he could just throw it in, too. “i don’t know anyone who enjoys folding laundry, but it’s not my least favorite chore. that would be the garbage.” for his own reasons. mostly because even hefty extra-strength doesn’t dull the stench enough for his improved sense of smell. “who else would i count on? odette? i think she’d be more likely to throw me to the unicorns, so to speak.” or maybe not. they are her unicorns, after all. no need to trust them in someone else’s hands!

         “well, that makes one of us. a good a start as any,” he teases back, shaking his head. there are worse ideas in the world than those that come about through jokes. “but can’t it be both? wouldn’t surprise me if the two of you went through them fast.” eleven year olds are always getting into trouble, after all. and that means it’s only a matter of time before mom gets into it, too. that’s exactly what they’re for.

“As long as we don’t upset their supreme overlord,” Annie says, jabbing a thumb in Odette’s direction, “I think closed doors could work. They’re small, even if they stacked, they would barely be able to reach the door knobs in our apartment.” Annie could practically kick herself to defaulting to laundry over trash duty. Then again, she did have an eleven year old to pass the buck to on that. It was a short enough task, and Odette got to walk to the trash chute by herself. That fake independence was enough to be convincing, Annie had no doubt about that. “Consider yourself lucky that I didn’t think of the trash first.” Placing a hand to her chest to feign some look of heartfelt appreciation. “Wow, I’m honestly flattered to know you think so highly of me. Who would have thought you’d want the likes of me to have your back?”

         “i know when people will die. it makes them curious.” not just people, of course. every being that has lived, is living, or will live before the inevitable destruction of the universe. but people, humans, are what matter most on this world and that’s the brunt of what he deals with. really, all he ever will deal with. maybe that’s a good thing. “maybe i should start thinking about my affairs, if that’s old, now. i thought that started closer to fifty.”