Here We Go Again

Well, let me explain a thing to you my friend..

A common starter is something super triggering or harmful to someone’s mental well being happens, like for me it was getting stuck in an extremely abusive relationship. You begin to focus on said trauma and suddenly you start losing your appetite. You stop eating, and it makes you feel in control of something for once. Every day you don’t eat something is another day you tell yourself you’re actually doing good, soon you’ll have healed from this. But by the time you realize you cannot patch up the pain with an empty stomach it’s too late. You begin feeling like a failure again, even when you haven’t eaten anything, even worse when you do eat something. Even something as small as two cheez its (.08 cal). Suddenly a plum and three candy corns becomes a meal and you only need one meal in a day. It Spitals out of control and you know you have a problem and you know you need to stop but that’s just the thing. You can’t stop. Don’t you see my dear that this is a trap? Now you obsess over the tiniest of details and you don’t want to but you HAVE to. And suddenly you become good at memorizing numbers, able to list off the calories in any meal your friends are eating. And then 200 calories is too much for a day, the very thought of consuming that many makes you feel sick. You forget what a normal meal is, or how to properly eat.

Well, let me explain a thing to you my friend..

A common starter is something super triggering or harmful to someone’s mental well being happens, like for me it was getting stuck in an extremely abusive relationship. You begin to focus on said trauma and suddenly you start losing your appetite. You stop eating, and it makes you feel in control of something for once. Every day you don’t eat something is another day you tell yourself you’re actually doing good, soon you’ll have healed from this. But by the time you realize you cannot patch up the pain with an empty stomach it’s too late. You begin feeling like a failure again, even when you haven’t eaten anything, even worse when you do eat something. Even something as small as two cheez its (.08 cal). Suddenly a plum and three candy corns becomes a meal and you only need one meal in a day. It Spitals out of control and you know you have a problem and you know you need to stop but that’s just the thing. You can’t stop. Don’t you see my dear that this is a trap? Now you obsess over the tiniest of details and you don’t want to but you HAVE to. And suddenly you become good at memorizing numbers, able to list off the calories in any meal your friends are eating. And then 200 calories is too much for a day, the very thought of consuming that many makes you feel sick. You forget what a normal meal is, or how to properly eat.