कASHAK

Spotify & chatgpt too

"Make me", "oh really", "is that so", "prove it", "What's in it for me?", "Wanna bet?"

probably the ssri and sleeping pills, not because taking medication is a bad thing but because taking them means admitting that maybe i wasn't imagining any of it. maybe not sleeping properly for months isn't normal, maybe spending every night trapped in your own head isn't normal, maybe constantly overthinking every conversation, every relationship and every possible outcome isn't normal, maybe being anxious, exhausted and always waiting for something to go wrong isn't normal, and maybe carrying grief, abandonment issues and years of unresolved stuff actually does leave a mark. i think the hardest part is that if anyone else told me they were struggling i'd believe them instantly, but when it's me suddenly everything becomes a debate and every symptom needs proof. even after being prescribed medication twice there's still a part of me that goes "but what if you're fine?" and i think that's the real hardest pill to swallow, realizing that just because you survived something doesn't mean it didn't hurt you.