hey, you!

as a vaporeon your only mission in life is to slap your biiiiiiiig damn tail and splash around

as a flareon your only mission in life around is to be fluffy and have an awesome attack stat

as a jolteon your only mission in life is to run around super fuckin fast and be spikey and cool

as an umbreon your only mission on life is to glow and lurch around and go "rrrreaerrr" and stare at stuff with your red eyes

as an espeon your only mission in life is to hear a whole lotta stuff with your big ears and make stuff float and bask in the sun

as a leafeon your only mission in life is to have dope defenses and go around in forests and be cool and green

as a glaceon your only mission in life is to walk around graciously in the cold and lay comfortably in the snow

as a sylveon your only mission in life is to go around joyously and hold onto stuff with your big ribbons and go "(whistling sound)"

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

but i stay silly! *←said in the most world-weary voice you ever did hear*

Reblog you stay silly

Joy and whimsy detected. This post is joyful and whimsical. I guess

this is going around again and the tags are full of people talking about printing it out to put in their breakroom or cubicle or sending it to their coworkers, which fills me with great joy. vast diversity of professions represented also. zoos. labs. summer camps. restaurants. garden centers. libraries. schools. many reports from the brave warriors of assorted retail. a truth universally acknowledged: if there is a sign a customer will not read it <3 and they don't read emails either <3

Way too funny not to share

Trust Gru

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!