gandalfofspace

Jade in Episode 4 vs Jade in Episode 5

I love the juxtaposition of these two moments so much. The dialogue is very similar, but in episode 4 Jade is coming from a place of wounded pride after their first kiss and Kamin's subsequent refusal to discuss the said kiss. His defences are up, and despite his desperation to know what Kamin is thinking, he's not willing to admit to anything until Kamin provides some clarity on where he stands.

Jade in Episode 3 vs Kamin in Episode 5

But episode 5 comes after Kamin kissed him in the hospital, and after Kamin admitted that he doesn't worry like this for anyone else; an answering vulnerability to the moment when Jade admitted something similar in episode 3. The lowering of Kamin's walls gives Jade the courage to respond in kind. He knows Kamin still has reservations, lines he won't cross, but now Jade's stance is no longer "I don't think much about it" but "tell me so I can handle my feelings", a tacit and unspoken acknowledgement that Jade has feelings which he can no longer control or hide from Kamin. There's such soft vulnerability being shown by both of them, and the moment is all the sweeter because it stands in contrast to how they spoke about it in episode 4.

For example, this moment where they're both absolutely casual about expressing their worry for each other being in a dangerous situation - there's absolutely no pretence on either side about the mutual attraction, no juvenile attempt to play coy or get the other person to admit to something they're not ready to voice themselves. It's such a refreshing change from shows that usually involve younger characters because you can see that these are two adults with lived experiences navigating a growing attraction, and the only thing that's really holding them back from being together is timing and the circumstances they're in.

On the one hand you have Jade who's been absolutely chomping at the bit to start a relationship since day episode 1. He liked what he saw from the moment Kamin rolled down his window during their meet ugly, and he's not afraid to make it abundantly clear to Kamin that being with him is what he wants, even if it means getting inappropriately close at every single opportunity that presents itself.

But on the other side, you have Kamin putting the breaks on starting something serious, and it makes perfect sense why he would: they're in the middle of a complex case that has high stakes (there's already been 3 deaths at this point in episode 4) and he's got their higher bosses breathing down his neck about it. Furthermore, there's no getting around the fact that Kamin is Jade's superior so there's definitely a conflict of interest there. The timing of things couldn't be worse for Kamin to also add a new relationship to his already very full plate.

But what I really like is that these circumstances don't stop Kamin from clearly communicating his interest in Jade. Even before the kiss at the end of episode 3/start of episode 4, a clear sign of Kamin's interest was him deliberately giving Jade his LINE contact right after he refused to give it to the doctor. A similar thing happens when the doctor gives Kamin the mask and he immediately puts it on Jade instead, so that Jade will be protected. Kamin isn't exactly hiding the fact that he likes and cares for Jade right back, he's just wary about starting something when they're in the thick of things. His constant message to Jade is clear: it's not a 'no', it's a 'not right now'. He wants to wait until they aren't on the case and aren't superior and subordinate.

But things escalate despite Kamin's best efforts and I LOVE how it plays out so fucking much. Jade's the first one to lean in for the kiss, but Kamin shifts back at first and that clear rejection was enough for Jade to back off and start to look guilty/disappointed. But then Kamin goes in fully for the kiss and absolutely commits to it. Maybe he couldn't bear to leave Jade sad and disappointed, or maybe he was overcome with his own desires. Either way, I love that Kamin's the one to initiate because (a) this way it's clear that Kamin is on the same page as Jade is and (b) it shows how willing Jade is to back off when it really matters and let Kamin set the pace.

Which is something that Jade's been really good about whilst still having the self-respect to not be jerked around by a lack of clarity. Again, I LOVE how mature this is: Jade is willing to let the ball be in Kamin's court and for Kamin to make the choice for them both, but he isn't willing to wait forever. He defines clear limits - three days for Kamin to explain the kiss and decide if he's going to move in and one night to think about moving into Jade's bedroom.

Yes, it's an escalation (or rather, a reduction of the time Jade is giving Kamin to make a 'choice') but by now they're both highly cognisant of how dangerous this case is becoming. Both of them have gotten injured at this point, and the experience has only served to drive home how much they care for each other and how real their mutual feelings are.

Which is why we have Jade going from feigned nonchalance in episode 4 to absolute certainty in his feelings in episode 5 and I love how earned this feels. The characters are navigating their emotions with such maturity and depth, and they're doing it in the face of extremely traumatic circumstances and an escalating serial killer, and while they're both doing their jobs to the best of their ability (with their own specific style, of course), they're also not shying away from the reality of their own emotions.

such is the nature of evil, in time all foul things come forth 🍃

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