ellie

the new "gasoline" music video by @tiredandlonelymuse is exactly what i've been trying to say. because yes. yes i am still leaning on the same vices of ten years ago. yes i am obsessively trying to constellate the stars of my past with the help of hindsight. yes i do wish i could revisit the people i have hurt and used and loved and lost so i could try to explain myself one more time. yes i am reaching out across the grime-streaked table to scream through the decade at a chained and desolate version of myself. yes i have the key now. yes i am going to do something. so it only makes sense that i have to keep running.

gonna take a hot shower and put on a big t shirt and my undies and i’m gonna sit on the floor and color at my coffee table like im 6 years old again and then i’ll feel better

yes i hate being a consumer yes getting a package delivered makes me feel like life is worth living. i contain multitudes. and brain rot

baby girl i have avoided situations that don’t even exist yet

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

I wish people would stop saying “It’s July. Well done for wasting half a year.” Did you make someone smile in the past six months? Did you stroke a cat or throw a stick for a dog? Did you learn a new fact or teach someone a new joke? Did you laugh, cry, scream or sing in the past six months? Because if so, congratulations for not wasting your time at all.