love island IS one of the reality shows with a confessional, yes !! i have notes about confessionals throughout the season in my timeline/planning docs, and in some of the early drafts of love island au i utilized the confessional a lot more, but i ended up scrapping a lot of it for a couple reasons. one, i moved a little bit away from showing the production aspects of the show (there are still some mentions throughout, but it was a LOT heavier in earlier drafts!) and two, we're in yn's head SO much anyway, and to me she was a character who was fairly in touch with her emotions and wasn't lying to herself about her feelings very much, so the confessionals felt sort of... info-dump-y? and not something that couldn't be established more efficiently/effectively through internal narration. i will say that i wish i'd used them more in the original fic because they would have been SO great in casa from lando's perspective. he's much more in denial about his feelings towards yn especially at that point in their #journey and teasing out the unreliability of what he's telling himself would have been so good. and i did try it! but it felt kinda weird to have multiple confessional moments when they don't happen at all in the original fic.
Compared to the quiet darkness outside, the lights of the Beach Hut are so bright you have to squint against them. "Tonight was mental," you sigh, settling back into the chair and wedging yourself between the piles of throw pillows. "Dunno. I thought going out there and dancing in front of everyone in this stupid outfit was going to be the hardest thing." A tiny, humorless laugh escapes your lips. "Spoke too soon, I guess."
The spotlights brighten almost imperceptibly and then dim again. The producer's voice rings through the tiny speaker behind the camera: "Seems like Carlos wasn't too happy with your results."
"I mean โ yeah," you say, puffing a gust of air out of your cheeks. "He was a bit upset. And like, I get it, I do, but it's like I said to Lan. It's just not that deep, is it? Like, it's not real, or anything. I dunno. It's a bit frustrating. We sorted it, though. Carlos just needed some reassurance." You pause, then add hastily, not wanting to sound too harsh, "Honestly, though, he was really mature about the whole thing. Like G absolutely kicked off massively, so I'm happy he was at least willing to hear me out."
There's a burst of static over the speaker before the producer scratches through again. "How's Lando doing after the row with Georgia?"
You can feel your expression sour, brow creasing, mouth pulling into a frown as you tug a pillow into your lap and hug it tightly. "I think he's okay now, but he was pretty upset. Some of the stuff G said to him, it just really wasn't on. He cares so much about her and he really takes things to heart, he just doesn't broadcast them all the time. I'm just glad I could be there for him after, you know?" you say. "Like he always is for me. Even when he was sad tonight, he had me properly laughing in, like, under a minute." The smile stretches across your face almost-involuntarily at the memory of it, the same way it always seems to when you talk about your best friend. "He's gotten so good at reading me, it's like I've known him forever. He just โ he gets me, I guess. I don't think anyone else in here does, at least not like he does. I'm lucky I have him."
It's silent, for a moment, only the recording light on the camera blinking steadily back at you. The lights feel uncomfortably hot against your cheeks. Normally, you don't mind the Beach Hut โ actually, you usually welcome the chance to talk your feelings out โ but for the first time, you're sitting here replaying your own voice in your head and wondering if it sounded the way you meant it to.
"Right," you say uncertainly, standing and brushing down your dress with clumsy, desperate fingers. "Well, I'm exhausted, honestly, and Carlos is waiting for me. Are we good here?"