Sugar, Sugar 6
Part 6 to our friends at Sugar Sugar!! One of the best moments has come!! 😚💓
I love writing their story so, so much. Thanks for reading it.
TW/ talk of body issues, fatphobia and fetishization, manipulation.
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Y/N was skeptical about putting on a blindfold. Both because she was clumsy- and the feeling of his hands tying it around her eyes made her exceptionally aroused.
Still, she let him do it. Listening to him bustle around as she was led towards a spot where she was sat on something hard. With some information from Harry, he said she was in a nice rock and left her to sit for ‘no longer than 5 minutes.’ He was doing… something.
The thing that really got her that no matter what it was he was doing, he was going out of his way to surprise her. He had taken her to a place that he just felt would make her happy. Harry had gone and planned this himself, taking control and genuinely was putting the effort in to make her happy and pleased and it made her feel bubbly and melty and soft. Sticky and fluffy like cotton candy all through her insides.
Y/N had dated before, sure, but it had been very…. Unnoteworthy. Dates included regular movies and weirdly awkward dinners. Drinks after the work day. Nothing that included particular thought or planning. It wasn’t to say that they were always bad. She had some enjoyable dates in her day. It was just that nothing felt exciting. Nothing felt exceptionally personal.
Already Harry was proving he could listen. He listened and observed and took tiny details, never made her second guess what she said. She was taken for who she was with little to no judgement. Harry was a breed of his own.
“Alright…” the sound of his hands rubbing together startled her out of thought, the warmth of him getting closer. “I’ve got it set up. It’s nothing huge, but I just thought it would be fun to surprise you with the set up.” His hand raised up to rub behind his neck, observing the situation behind him one more time. Prone to overthinking, he knew it was better to just take it off.
“I’ll be excited with literally anything, Harry.” The reassurance was nice, but it didn’t full lessen his nerves. He really, really wanted to impress her.
“Okay, okay.” He murmured, standing himself in front of her as his fingers raised to undo the knot at the back of her head. There was careful attention paid to make sure it didn’t tangle in her hair or move too much as it was slid down. Her eyes stayed closed, lashes brushing her cheeks as she waited for further instruction. If harry was being real honest, it was sexy. Really damn sexy, and it was a tiny bit embarrassing that it affected him that much, so soon. With a moment it was willed away.
“Sorry. I don’t want to be nervous, I just want you to like it.” He swallowed before taking her hand and leading her forward to the scene he had set up. It was a moment of truth.
Y/N opened her eyes.
The first thing she saw was the blanket spread out on the ground. Black background with yellow fucking suns and moons as a patttern against it. The man had gotten a sun and moon blanket in her favorite colors and set it out, which had her stomach dropping in realization. It looked just like a pair of flare pants she had worn just a few days prior. On top of the blanket, a wicker basket sat in the middle, two yellow, velvety looking pillows sat Side by side. On top were a few bowls with covered tops, making it a mystery what was inside. The sunflowers sat in their packaging to the right of the blanket. An old fashioned radio sat to the left, a pile of CDs next to it. The whole set up was shaded under a large oak tree, casting a shadow of leaves and letting just a bit of light peek through to light up the blanket as it overlooked the sunflower field.
A picnic. A real picnic with personalized fucking detail. Her favorite color and a blanket just for her.
Harry had indeed gone out and found the blanket online, and the pillows were going to double as his new couch cushions- but she was in mind with all of the purchases.it had been a toss up on whether or not it would be too much or not, but he figured that Y/N deserved this. He wanted to do it for her.
“And I grabbed a few CDs from my car, the ones you said you liked. Some Coldplay, Elvis, I have one with 70s hits I got at a while back that I burned myself.” He squeezed her hand. “N’I was sure to keep the food what you’d like. thats why I asked if you were allergic to peanuts. Sorry if it gave away anything, I just was a little bit nervous and I wanted it to be good for you.” He lightly kicked the grass before turning his face from the set up with his nervous tummy back to her.
“Do you like-“
Lips. Bubbles. Heat. Soft. Sweet. Tingles.
She was kissing him. Y/N hadn’t let him finish his sentence, her hand gripping his shirt and pulling him close as she could, pressing their lips together. Finally. Fucking finally.
Harry’s head was swimming and she was on the same boat. Floaty and fuzzy as their lips pressed against each others, Y/N pulling back for a moment only to readjust and kiss him a bit firmer as he was knocked from his frozen state. The warm hand cradling her cheek as if she was the most precious thing to exist, like if he pressed too hard she would break- but his mouth chasing hers just a but as she had pulled away.
The kiss had changed his world on its axis. Tilted it, made things tumble over and flop. His heart was nearly in his throat and he wondered if she could taste it. He wanted to taste hers, to own hers. Second date in and the man was smitten. Her soft, warm cheek and the curve of her wide hip in his hand. The fingers flexing and sinking into the flesh. He wanted her.
Y/N had to be the one to pull away first. It was almost embarrassing how he wanted to whine for her to stay, getting a taste of what he had been craving for weeks now. His eyes were hazy as she pulled back from his mouth, settling back on her feet as she looked at him with those equally as stunned eyes, blinking slowly as she tried to place her words.
“I- wow.” The swallow didn’t do much to help the feeling in her own throat. “Was that- I’m sorry if that was too much. I didn’t ask- I’m sor-“ Harry couldn’t help it, pressing his own lips to hers again for a tinier kiss to stop the ramble that was about to begin.
“Don’t ever apologize for kissing me.” He smeared his thumb over her cheek, nudging her nose. “That was incredible. I want to do more of that. And it was more than a valid thank you.” The hoarseness of his voice went straight to her spine, making her shiver a bit. The excitement of it all, the pure emotion she felt was almost overwhelming. “Let’s sit down though. You can choose the CD first.”
Y/N was dazed even as she sat down on the soft blanket, a shy smile covering her face as she adjusted herself and went through the CDs.
So, Peter Gabriel
Tusk, Fleetwood Mac
Blue, Joni Mitchell
Swimming, Mac Miller
Malibu, Anderson .Paak
Come On Over, Shania Twain
Parachutes, Coldway
Gold Collection, ABBA.
She chose ABBA. A tough choice, considering she liked all of the albums but it fit the mood.
“What a collection.” She teased slightly as she opened up the CD case and delicately placed it in the player. It was older but reminded her of the one she used to have in her room when she was younger. A baby blue color with some scrapes and scratches, it was well loved and somehow that managed to make Harry even more endearing.
“I’m a man with eclectic taste.” He sniffed, though he smiled at her choice. Of course. His eye gave her a wink as he grabbed the two bottles of lavender lemonade from the basket as he began to set up. “Are you hungry? I did a lot of snacks because I know it can be hard to do a full meal at a picnic. What it called… the boards? I’m no good at the set up, so I made little bowls.”
Each had a theme. Sweet, salty, spicy. Some cheese and crackers. He had a few sweets for dessert but stuck with the fruit because it was easier to transport. “I was gonna do cupcakes, but I figured I know how Fuckin’ difficult it can be to travel with those. Icing everywhere, and not in the fun way.”
Y/N snorted at that before covering her mouth, giggles flooding the field. “Jesus. Kiss a girl once and now I’m getting a peek into your perversions?” She watched his face as he joined her laughter, scooting a bit closer with the basket in tow.
“You’ll get to know them eventually. I do have quite a fun time.”
That made her giggles slow. Christ- she couldn’t be thinking about that right now. Not when she felt like a lovesick little puppy and would be more than willing to get on her knees for him this moment. Or get him on his own. Either would do.
“Hmph. I guess we’ll find out. However.” She stressed, grabbing the lemonade bottle form him. It was a light purple, making her raise a brow in question. “What the hell is this?” Scanning the label, her mouth popped open a bit. “Lavender lemonade? How the hell did I not know it existed?”
“It’s lavender lemonade but the color is from that butterfly pea flower. It turns purple with lemons juice.” He explained, proud to have shocked her a bit. It seemed up her ally. Y/N had said many times she enjoyed herbs and florals and making her own tea. She made spell jars with them that he had yet to see but he did his own research to try and not feel like a total knob.
“This is so cool.” She handed the bottle back to him. “But please tell me you’ve got a bottle opener. I don’t trust my teeth that way.”
——
Y/N had never felt more comfortable with a person. With a full tummy and a sun setting, she was laid back on the blanket with Harry’s body close enough to feel the body heat, hands tangled together on top of her stomach.
At first she had been a bit stiff about it, but she didn’t say anything. Harry had waited but she left it be, relaxing back into the blanket as Chiquitita played quietly next to them and the sounds of people exploring the sunflower maze echoed around the field.
As much as Y/N tried and was confident; there were still triggers for her. Areas she wasn’t fond of being touched or looked at because for so long people would make them seem dirty, bad, unattractive. particularly her stomach. She had fluff, she had rolls, it hung a little bit and it wasn’t something she loved to show off- but she didn’t hate it. It had taken her a long time to feel okay with it showing at all considering a lot of people growing up made it feel like she had to hide it. Harry never made her feel that way.
He was respectful but he had touched her there a few times. As if it wasn’t an issue- because to him, it wasn’t. It was a part of her. He enjoyed her softness, the fullness, he didn’t think much of it besides it being beautiful because it was her. Y/N could tell from now that he wouldn’t do much to make her feel poorly.
It was time to open up. Maybe just a bit.
“The reason I flinched before is because I don’t usually like people touching my stomach.”
The words hung in the air for a moment. She could feel him try to pull their hands off, heard him begin to speak but instead she tightened the grip of her hand to keep them there.
“I know that you…. You’re a really rare type of guy, Harry. I feel comfortable with you. I’ve done a lot of work on myself and I love how I am, how I look. But sometimes I forget that insecurities don’t just go away like we want them to.” Her thumb brushed his cross tattoo, turning her head to look at him to find his eyes already on her. “I feel comfortable now. But you’re going to have to be a bit patient with me. I’m going to flinch sometimes. Or make jump reactions and move your hands from my stomach or thighs because in the past, they’ve been touched with the opposite of affection. They’re the spots people mock. The parts I was taught to hide. I know that it isn’t the truth, but I’m still learning.”
It sucked. Having to have this conversation was something she was dreading because she didn’t want him to walk on eggshells around her. She wanted normal. She wanted what other people had, a partner who would touch as he pleased because he wanted to. “I want you to touch me. I want you to do what you want and feel comfortable with me at the normal pace people have in normal relationships. Do you think you can do that?”
Harry hurt for her.
He hated, no, despised that people in her life and the world around her had taught to hate her body. He was full of pride that she was able to overlook a lot of it. That she managed to see her own self for the beautiful woman she was. It had to be even more difficult than he could imagined. The world teaches people they aren’t good enough as it is. Media, entertainment, people around you strive for unrealistic perfection. As a woman who was bigger, he couldn’t imagine how difficult it had to be.
It wasn’t like he pitied her. He didn’t, at all. But he knew what people said. He wasn’t blind to it. People he had used to be friend with had said shut about peopl bodies. Thin or fat, tall or short- but big people always got the worst of it. He had always hated it, but never realized how much so until it hit him personally.
That was the worst part. He felt guilt now, and he knew that he had no one to blame but himself for not going harder on anyone around him for making comments. He had s lot of shit to learn, but Y/N was fucking worth it. It was more than worth growing pains.
“Of course I can.” His body turned on its side, dragging himself so he was directly pressed against her. Knuckles were brought to his mouth, kissing each one as he looked over her face. The slight hesitation was clear. “I’ve never been big, darling. I don’t know the things you go through, and I recognize that. But you can be damn sure that I love your body, I’m attracted to it, and I will defend it. Even from you.” He smiled sadly, dropping their fingers to brush the waves from her cheeks.
“You always tell me if i overstep. If I make you uncomfortable. We can do exactly as you like. I’ll touch you as we want. But if it’s too much, I want you to say it. To tell me. I’m upset people have made you feel as though any single part of you was undesirable but trust me when I say….” He pinched her chin between his fingers. “I desire you in every single way possible. I’ve never wanted someone the way I want you. I’m willing to do what it takes to make you happy and comfortable. I want all of you”
Noses brushed, and mouths met again. Gentle caresses of lips, breaths against skin. The sweetness of lemonade tasted on his own tongue as he deepened their kiss a tiny bit, fingers tangling at the hair right behind her ear. It felt whole. Fulfilling. And yet he wanted more. He thinks that he’ll always want more.
How had anyone kissed her and walked away? How had they felt her softness and her warmth and wanted to voluntarily move? He would love to stay wrapped with her all day. Feel her breasts against his chest in the most chaste way. Skin to skin. The experience is something that he needed to make happen one day. But for now, this was enough.
She was enough.
“M’sorry I’m a little complicated. I’ve just been burned in the past. I’m doing my very best not to project on to you.” The words muttered against his lips. “You aren’t them. I’ll keep reminding myself of that. You’re everything, H.”
“Burned?” He questioned, pulling back regretfully. “May I ask… how?”
If he knew, maybe he could avoid things that would make her upset. If he understood, he could learn from their mistakes. Understand her mindset better. He wanted to know Y/N inside and out.
She decided to roll over to the side, wrapping a leg around his and resting her cheek against his chest. Harry took to the positon easily, his arm cushioning her neck and fingers messing with her hair. “I’m not comfortable going into extreme detail yet but… I will say some.” A deep breath was taken, exhaled shakily as she raced herself to touch on it.
“I’ve been on dates with a lot of men, some women. And a lot of them go in with some good intentions. Some, not so much. But the general basis has been looking at me as if I’m a different species. Not human. Being fat is dehumanizing.” Her fingers traced over his shirt to self soothe a little bit. “They think that we are easy. Or that we are lucky to go out with them. That we should be honored to be offered to sleep with them, like they’re doing us a favor. Then they’re shocked, offended even, that a fat girl ends up being disinterested. More than they would be if someone was a more socially acceptable size. It’s an experiment. A joke. Not always, of course. Some people are lovely. But… it’s difficult to explain sometimes.” She closed her eyes, trying to focus on his fingers in her hair. It felt so good, so relaxing. The comfort made her able to continue.
“Or… it’s a fetish. Watch us eat. Want us to get bigger. I don’t try and kink shame. I think that as long as it’s consensual, safe, and people are of age, it’s fine- most of the time. But it’s exhausting. Trying to date and people just want to feed you and watch you eat. Want to feed you during sex or obsess over your weight gains and losses. I’m sure for some people that’s fine. It’s cool. For me, though? The idea of only wanting to be with me for my body and their love for me depending on if I gain weight, even if it’s to a dangerous place? It isn’t at all appealing.” Trying to explain plus size dating to a straight size man was hard but he seemed to be listening. Not interrupting. A good start.
“I have an ex. And in our relationship… he was secretive. He didn’t post me on social media, didn’t let me post him either. He didn’t let me meet his family or parents, his friends. Made excuses for me until he blew up and said that it was disgusting, he was disgusting and pathetic because he had ‘fallen in love with a fat woman’. He ridiculed my body he had said he loved so much. He was angry he was attracted to me. There’s a lot more to it than that but I don’t want to make the mood worse but… some things that people say, stick with you. He didn’t want to commit to me, ever, but he didn’t want me to see anyone else. Said he loved me, but never called me his girl” her eyes burned but she refused to let tears fall.
“I’ve healed, mostly. I haven’t dated since, and this was a while ago. My first and only longer thing I’ve had. So sometimes I know I go back to thinking those things. I find myself wondering how you’re attracted to me because… you’re conventionally handsome. And so far you’ve been very public on showing that you want to be around me and that we are more than friends. It’s confusing, in a really good way. “She smiled against his shirt, feeling his fingers pause in her hair before he tried to get her face up.
He felt sick for her. Knowing someone made her feel disposable and ugly and bad for being ‘loved.’ That wasn’t love. Not the even close. The fact that a woman like her- who exudes sunbeams and light and love and kindness- had to deal with something like that, it made him angry. She didn’t deserve even a fraction of that.
“Okay. There’s a lot I want to say to that, darling. we don’t have to stay on this topic too long. What I will say is that you… are light. You are beautiful. You’re exactly my type because you’re you. And it would be a god damn honor to walk around with you on my arm. To introduce you to my friends. You deserve to be shown off.” He pressed a kiss to her nose, a tiny little peck that made her giddiness return.
“Is that something you’d let me do?”
It was quiet once he asked. Her body warming as she looked over his face, not finding an ounce of humor on it. He was serious.
“I mean… yeah.” She peeped. “I like you. A lot.”
“Good. Because I really like you too, more than I have ever in such a short time. And I’d like to be exclusive. I’m not sure if labels are something you’re comfortable with, but ideally I’d like you to be mine. Girlfriend. I’ll tell everyone as soon as you’d let me.”
Y/N could have squealed. It seemed fake even though it wasn’t. A man from her dreams emerged from nowhere, and listened and validated her past traumas. Said she wanted exactly what she wanted. Now. He didn’t have the same fears as her and for that, she was grateful.
“I’m okay with labels. I’d…. I'd really like that. I don’t want to see anyone else.” It felt like she could barely speak despite the sparkle in her eye, watching the green engulf her own. “You can tell them when you want. I just… I want to keep dating and stuff. Go out and do things. Doesn’t have to be extravagant like this every time, as much as I loved it. We can go to target for all I care. I just like spending time with you.”
Vulnerability wasn’t easy for Y/N a lot of the time, but Harry felt safe. A connection she didn’t know was possible in her life.
“Okay. M’gonna spoil you a little bit, though. Target, absolutely. But you deserve to be spoiled and treated to things you want to do.” He gently squeezed her chin, pecking her lips again. Something he would never be tired of. Pop, sizzle, spark all in his body each time they touched mouths. “Is that okay with you, girlfriend?”
“I think so.” She shyly looked down, making him click his tongue.
“You think so…. What?” The man wanted her to say it. His new title. He needed to hear it.
“Dork.”’she melted into the embrace, fully covering his mouth with hers for a strong kiss. Exchanging the power as he melted under her kiss, her hand pushing his floppy hair back from his slightly sunburnt face. “I think so, boyfriend.”
