v

why did no one tell me this book is 1030 pages and weighs 800kg ?????

i’m holding onto it more than ever

i hope this earth shattering solitude and sadness never fades

you aren’t here

all i have are memories and the dreams i dream of you when i’m lucky enough

you left me

you left me here alone

and after all these years

loving someone else still feels like infidelity

like i’m betraying your spirit

i miss you and i love you more than anyone can ever feel anything

but i also hate you

i hate you for leaving me here

for not taking me with you

for making me suffer in isolation

no one knows me like you do

i’m lonely and refusing of love because of my loyalty to you

my loyalty used to be my best trait

but as i sit here in my lonesome agony

i’m wondering if it’s my worst