dearest, you.

#LATEN

. . . Giving.

Laten is an eager man. Between rugby to training to generally going to the gym, his libido is sky high and there's something about hotter weather that sends him into a frenzy. Doesn't help when you're in his bed, his blanket lazily resting between your legs with a pair of his shorts riding up your thighs, the curve of your ass taunting him.

He knows it's weird, but he can't help but gently smooth his large hand over it, the veins underneath his skin bulging with frustration as he gently squeezes the fat of your ass with a small huff between his bitten lip. When you lean into his touch, he can't help but to slide his hand into his shorts where he aches into the palm of his hand.

Laten is as quiet as he can be, but between each tough against himself and then on you, he just needs to do it. He’s quiet, slow, but he’s a big boy. In every sense of the word. Your breathing slowly changes, your chest rising softly with each breath that you suck in as he hovers above you, his fingertips brushing a stray hair from your face; his cock deep inside of you, slowly dragging back out with an aching pulse.

“You feel so good.” He whispers, hoping you’ll wake up to pull him in closer.

. . . receiving.

Laten is a deep sleeper and sleeps almost naked, even in the winter. He runs hot so he can’t wear too much otherwise he overheats.

So when he’s laying beside you, your cheek pressed against his bicep, his fingers in your hair, his chest rising gently with each sleepy breath and his shorts riding down enough to see the base of his dick, your mouth waters. I mean, of course it would, he’s a gorgeous man with a body that looks as if it should be carved marble; thick and strong with dusting of light hair across his chest and a happy trail that leads to where your eyes are looking.

Your fingertips follow down the centre of his stomach, tracing each line and hill of relaxed muscle before leading down further, cupping him gently with a slow kneading motion; your eyes flickering up to find him sound asleep.

You feel bad, guilty, even. You don’t want him to awaken, the risk of you looking like a perverted fool. You’re embarrassed, but also too wet to care all that much as you pull his cock out, thick and heavy in your hand as it twitches in response.

#BLAKE

. . . Giving.

Unlike Laten, he feels no shame. His hands pawing greedily against your chest; hand underneath your top, humming into the crook of your neck as he presses small kisses against the sensitive skin.

His hand travels down, dipping into your pants where he slides his fingers across, gently rubbing as his lips move down towards your chest and to your stomach. Soon enough he slowly eases his finger in, biting gently down into his bottom lip.

Trapping your thigh between his legs, grinding his hardness against the plushness of your thighs, he pumps his fingers in and out of you, curling his fingers towards the sweet spot that evokes a reaction in your sleeping form.

. . . Receiving.

Blake endorses it. He thrives after a happy ending to the start of a good day. So waking up to you on top of him is everything he’s ever wanted and more.

As you gently grind yourself against his crotch, you hum out in response as he grows increasingly harder underneath you. Soon enough you’ve lowered yourself down onto his cock, your hand covering your mouth as you rock your hips back and forth, taking all of him until your core begins to sting.

Blake sleeps naked, so this act is an easy one. Your hands against his biceps, nails digging into them as your hole swallows his cock with each passing moment.

"You regret kissing me," He says sheepishly, his fingers playing with his curls. "don't you?"

"No! No... It was my first kiss." You respond, your eyes lowering.

Suddenly. he's ecsatic, "Oh! Does this mean I can kiss you again... Like... Now?"

Please say yes, you can see his tail wagging from a mile away.

— JAE 'NIKO' LEE.

Jae is just as shocked as you. He never expected you to want to kiss him. So when he sees your reaction, he only sighs.

"That was my first kiss." You admit, watching his reaction as he crosses his arms over his chest.

"I know," He huffs, still disappointed. "you won't want to actually kiss me again, will you?"

If you say yes, he will quite literally cradle your face in his hands and kiss you like something from a movie.

If you say no, he simply nods and walks off. Literally. I'd leave him alone, he's wallowing in his own sadness. Not that he'd admit that.

— KAIDAN WOLFE.

Kaidan audibly makes a sound, his eyes widen for a fraction of a second before he melts into the kiss, accidental or not. He pulls you in and lingers for a second.

"That was my first kiss." You say, your foreheads against each other.

"Definitely won't be your last." He mutters before pulling you in once more for seconds.

— HAYDEN WEST.

It's actually Hayden who accidentally kisses you. He jolts back in horror, "I'm so sorry." He panics.

"That was my first kiss." You giggle, his eyes still wide as he says, "I know. Me too..."

Since you've broken the seal, you decide to share another kiss, just more purposeful this time, and Hayden struggles to keep his lips off you after than day forward.

— JOSHUA WHITE.

Joshua smiles softly, "that was your first kiss, am I correct?" He asks politely, ignoring your embarrassment over the entire moment; attempting to keep the moment as sweet and calming as possible.

"Yes..." You admit almost with shame.

"I'd like another, if you will allow it." He asks, his hand placed on top of yours.

— BLAKE CROSS.

Blake is a cocky shit, "If you wanted to kiss me this bad, you could have just asked."

"No! It was an accident," he only laughs in response. "It was my first kiss..."

His face straighten for a moment, sobering up before clicking his tongue, "Really? I don't believe you, I think I'll have to kiss you again to make sure you aren't lying."

Instead of wallowing, he finds himself a distraction. Someone who looks exactly like you. You find out through social media where multiple state how uncanny it is; memes of him having a type and clearly chasing people who are like you, his lucky charm. But sadly his new partner doesn't seem to have the same effect, you know this due to his back to back performances where he'd leave the car defeated and sat third place, a few DNF's along the line. He could blame the car, but he knew it was him. It was you.

When you finally come back into contact with him, his partner is now an ex, and you're back on the scene in a few months time but you didn't know that, people just assumed the heat died down and he decided to remain private within his new relationship, which is very much like Roman.

Of course you don't forgive him. You're upset, confused, jealous. Why didn't he just talk to you? Like an adult, instead of dating someone that could be assumed as your twin with a different accent.

"They meant nothing," Roman exclaimed, his grey eyes almost pleading. "you know this. I only have eyes for you, always. I honestly thought you were over me, over us. Please, mon cœur, tell me that you aren't."

— LATEN REED.

You stumble upon some fics written about him. Most likely local writers since he's not known massively, but he's still known well enough to be written about. At first the idea of it makes you feel sick. Why is someone writing x readers with your boyfriend? Does he know them. Has he fucked them?

So you check them obsessively, because why the fuck is someone him when, a) he's not even actually famous. b) he is with you. As time passes you genuinely just start to read them, you're not even reading them out of anger anymore.

Laten doesn't know of this and he doesn't need to.

— JAE 'NIKO' LEE.

Jae's fans are just as insane as he is and the fics made of him are just as equally insane. Literal novels. AU's where he's a vampire, or a warlock, or a monster with four arms and whatever else they can think up.

You read them out of pure amusement. They tend to be whacky and silly. Then you find a blog that is relatively normal besides the fact that they write Jae as Niko, the perfectly polite, sweet, loving man that is seen online and in the industry.

You scour the blog and become invested in their interpretation of Jae behind closed doors. Sometimes, as sad as it is, you begin to feel comfort in this fabrication of Jae; soaking up the sweet moments of gentleness that only exist on your screen.

When he finds out (from looking through your phone) he slightly feels at a loss. You care enough to read about him like this, so why are you so hesitant with him in real life? What is so different about Niko to Jae that makes you so scared of his reality?

— KAIDAN WOLFE.

Kaidan is depicted as a fun and loving person online. Which is true, mind you, but it's also exhausting to read him being so understanding and aware when in reality he was anything but.

You read this version of Kaidan as an escape of sorts. You'd love him so much more if he emulated the version of him that existed on your screen. The two Kaidans exist as their own different entities and when Kaidan eventually notices your screen as you scroll through, he couldn't be anymore in love with you.

You really are meant to be!!

— HAYDEN WEST.

Since Hayden isn't famous, nor very popular, it isn't likely that he's even captured anyone's attention besides the delivery man as he drops off his takeaway.

But it seems he has a secret admirer, much to your dismay. He refuses to even engage with the letters that find their way into his bag; clearly whoever it is, is from his class.

Honestly, this makes you feel a tad bit sick. Whoever this weirdo is needs to back off, what freak writes fanfics about someone that they know personally?

So you begin to read them. They're not love letters in the traditional form, they're short stories and one-shots. It makes your blood chill, how they write his shy smile to the size of his hands and how the veins protrude when he's focused on his work. The details knowing how much his secret admirer watches him closely.

Once that Hayden notices the trend of your recent obsession of reading each story, he begins to throw them out and get rid of them just as fast as they appear in his bag, not wanting you to be upset anymore.

— JOSHUA WHITE.

Joshua has a fanbase of sorts. Being a proud and honoured member of the church, a credit to society with a dimpled soft smile and reliable brown eyes, he is everything that a person would want in a man.

So when you realise that there's a small fan group dedicated to the church's very own Joshua White, you aren't surprised at all. In fact, you find it quite funny. Until you joined, that is. When you saw the things that they would say about him, you were left with rage.

Novels-worth of the most obscene smut you've ever read, and these were apparently God fearing people? Relationship headcanons, small posts with stuff like, 'I bet his hands would feel so good down your pants in the pews'. It wasn't funny, at all. Not when you know that he has shook hands with those very people.

— BLAKE CROSS.

Blake does have an array of fics, all completely fantasy based due to his actual social media being very limited. Nobody knows anything about him besides the fact that he is rich, good looking, a nepo baby, and a bit of a idiot due to the odd scandal throughout the years.

This only gained a fanbase rather than shame upon his family name. Blake is a mystery to the public and they became obsessed. Writing fics of what they think it would be like dating a nepo baby. Country clubs, days in the sun golfing, tennis courts with short skirts and easy smiles, villas in italy, and unlimited shopping sprees.

Which isn't too far from he truth, besides the fact that he is a complete idiot and queen of bitchiness when the mood allows. You read them and honestly find it amusing that the fans mainly only like him because of what he and his family represent: opulence and unavailability. Not the truth, and you know that if they knew the real him they would run a fucking mile.

— JAE ‘NIKO’ LEE.

Y2K.

Early boyband era where pop was booming and stars were superstars with great outfits and scandals.

— KAIDAN WOLFE.

70s — would definitely start a cult.

His style is already if Lenny Kravitz and 2Hollis was in the 70s but his vibe overall would fit that time, cult leader and known activist vibes.

— HAYDEN WEST.

Modern era — now.

With technology and everything, he fits this era more, possibly, and he loves a good hoodie.

— JOSHUA WHITE.

Regency Era.

Polite. Smart. Well-dressed.

— BLAKE CROSS.

Late 90s.

He’s got the swagger and attitude, his vibe is very 90s with that touch of rich Tuscan household aesthetic and vintage cars.

Out of them all, he’s one of the best at restraint because he’s missing you so bad but knows that once you’re back he’ll have you all to himself, he just looks forward to that moment.

— LATEN REED.

Laten doesn’t realise how much he really does love (obsess) over you until half a day of you being gone. Your messages slowing down, the usual midnight calls are nonexistent. He sits around basically twiddling his thumbs like an idiot, pissing everyone off around him.

He doesn’t want to be selfish, his life is pretty much revolved around rugby, so he knows that your life in return is now also revolving around rugby; so this trip for you is fun. He also knows that he’s pretty clingy so he literally wrestles with himself to not ask you to come back or to literally go to you himself.

Laten tells you in great detail how much he misses you about three days in, but doesn’t ask you to come back. He just wants you to know that he does miss you, but he also wants you to tell him how much you miss him, too, he needs those affirmations to feel secure.

— JAE ‘NIKO’ LEE.

Jae is a pain in the arse and straight up throws a fit before you even book and plan the trip. He’s so annoying that you lowkey do it behind his back because he complains about everything.

‘It’s not safe there’, ‘what if it rains?’, ‘who will drive you all around?’, ‘you won’t like that, remember when you got that sunburn?’.

He’s not nasty about it, he’s just so annoying, constantly creating an issue. When you’re leaving he’s glaring at you with his arms crossed, ‘enjoy it, then’. Acting like he’s not bothered but all he can picture is you being around good-looking people who can be openly with you in public.

Jae wouldn’t tell you these things, he wouldn’t allow himself to appear insecure, but he’d complain the entire time and constantly blow up your phone.

— KAIDAN WOLFE.

This idiot sees a fun trip and assumes he’s invited, even if it’s your group specifically that’s going; so is he. So, you’re not getting away from him, sorry.

Kaidan is fun to be around, but he’s a lot, and you really want some time with your friends away from social media, influencers, and… well.. Kaidan…

But no! He’s there!

— HAYDEN WEST.

Our sweethearts is beside himself. He’s so happy that you’re excited but it’s genuinely eating himself. The idea of you on a trip—with your friends, in a different place, new faces, new people who may catch your eye. Better people. Better looking, more funny, better bodies, everything.

He’s extremely insecure and overthinks the entire time but instead of blowing up your phone. He keeps is chill and appears really supportive, but he slowly drifts and throws his head into his hobbies and studies so he doesn’t have to overthink anything too deeply then he already is.

If anything, it’s you who ends up calling him if everything is okay from his lack of communication, which he in return says, ‘oh, it’s nothing! I was jut letting you have fun with your friends!’

— JOSHUA WHITE.

Joshua wants you to have fun. But he wants you to be safe. That’s his main priority. He checks everything, multiple times. Reviews, photos, ratings, everything.

He adds things into your bags to keep yourself safe and even messages you reminders for stuff. His way of missing you is by constantly checking that you’re okay.

This man is secure with you, he’s fine, and trusts you completely but hates that he can’t be with you to make sure that you’re in good hands, which are his.

— BLAKE CROSS.

Blake pays for everything. Everything. He’s the best, and only gives you the best. But he also knows people at these locations, so he knows someone will always be there to keep an eye on you.

He texts you constantly to make sure you’re okay and even though he wants you to have fun, he wants you to remember that he’s waiting for you back at home.

He doesn’t want to look needy, but he is. He really is. He just misses you right away. But it’s worth it when you send him pictures and videos where you look and sound so happy.

But next time it’s you two that’s going on a trip.

— LATEN REED.

Laten internally freaks out but keeps his cool, he only wants to you be okay. He hates to see you sick. He’s working like a dog making sure you have everything you need. You want a drink? He’s got it. A specific snack? He’s already out to buy it.

Laten is attentive as always, but his big green eyes are less excitable than usual as he’s cuddling you into him, making sure you’re close enough to him so he can feel your heartbeat against him.

— JAE ‘NIKO’ LEE.

Jae switches up, he’s softer than usual. He’ll leave a glass of water by the bedside table, allow you to sleep in and rest up as he presses a kiss against your forehead before leaving for work. He’ll send you messages throughout the day asking how you are, making sure you’ve ate and drank with photo evidence, making sure that you haven’t left, under strict supervision and rules.. the whole thing.

Once he’s back he expects you both to shower together where he will wash your hair and help you freshen up before getting into comfortable clothes to rest with him while watching old movies.

— KAIDAN WOLFE.

Kaidan is like a t-shirt, he clings to you.

He will cancel any and all plans, stating that you’re both sick. He will look after you to the point where you’re more sick of him than of the actually sickness you’ve got. But you can’t get mad when he smiles softly, his beautiful brown eyes watching you with love as he takes the more gentlest care of you.

He sets the living room up comfortably for you, like a nest on the sofa that you sink into and as you watch movies together you fall asleep quickly because of how comfortable he’s made everything.

— HAYDEN WEST.

Hayden is sick with worry, he’s googling everything as if any rational part of his brain had fucked off and left him.

He buys you your favourite snacks and drinks, cooks you meals to help you feel better, searches up simple home remedies to try and aid you. He will do your skincare to keep you feeling fresh, do your hair so it’s not bothering you, make sure your blankets are soft and pillows are comfortable. But he’s so gentle and it’s sort of funny because he’s acting like he can break you.

— JOSHUA WHITE.

Joshua is as a sweet as ever, of course. He tries to lighten to mood by making you laugh to try and take your mind off being sick as he actively takes care of you.

He knows all the tricks to taking care of you and your sickness and is kinda the best person to be around when sick because he’s so good at taking care of others.

— BLAKE CROSS.

“Don’t make me sick!” He will jest, shuffling away from you before laughing and going over to check you, if he can he will cancel things out of his day to stay by your side but if he really can’t he’ll make sure someone is near you to take care.

Make sure that meals are cooked, his private chef told to make you things to aid you and the maids to make sure things are clean and in order before he comes back to look after you himself.

Residing in such a small town often felt stifling. Everyone knows everyone and everyone knows you. What you do, what you don’t do; who you’ve dated, been friends with; hurt and in return been hurt by. They also know that you and God didn’t particularly have the best relationship with one another.

Residing in a small town really is—and to put it bluntly—fucking shit. But home is home, and it’s apparently where the heart is, so they say.

You didn’t feel that most days.

In fact, you weren’t sure where your heart belonged anymore, it definitely wasn’t in your chest, that was for definite.

The best feeling you had in a long time was down at the bottom of the glass, you couldn’t even remember what drink it was—drinks, actually. All you knew was that it was morning and the buzz had worn off a few hours ago.

You would have checked your phone if it didn’t die what felt like hours ago, or maybe it wasn’t, maybe it was only an hour back. But that wouldn’t make sense because it was dark when your phone died and the sun had just rose high enough to be seen over the horizon, casting a shading glaze over the languid town. Your vision remained fixed on the sun as you stalked the familiar streets, remembering it like the back of your hand even as your head began to pound and your tastebuds begging for even a drop of water.

‘God Loves You’ stood in bold, happy and smiling, from the board; glaring almost mockingly your way as you slowly came to a halt. Sitting on the wall across the street, you crossed your legs and ignored the chill that prickled against the naked skin that peaked from your outfit, reminding you that your senses were coming back with an unrelenting force. You were sure you took a coat out with you last night, maybe your friend has it. Maybe you lost it. Who cares?

God doesn’t, and he doesn’t love you.

The door creaked open, the oak groaning as Joshua White walked out; as graceful as ever. Even his steps were polite as he emerged from under the shade of the intricately carved porch canopy which you assumed were of religious iconography, but really they were just vines that danced prettily against the grain of the oak.

Clad in black jeans and a navy, almost black, V-neck jumper, Joshua looked the epitome of ‘put together’ and ‘responsible’, a stark contrast to your attire, which you felt like burning and burying in that moment.

From across the road, the world suddenly quietened as you realised he was looking back at you. Those eyes, dark but warm, evasive and yet soft, they looked through you. As they always did. His voice echoing through your brain, ‘lost lamb’ he’d call you. Probably, anyway. Maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe you wanted him to call you that. Because you truly were fucking lost.

And yet still, he stood there—watching you. A common occurrence and you often felt naked when he did so; more than you genuinely were in that moment. The skimpy fabric clung to dear life against your skin, reminding you of last night. Shame riddled its way through you, why were you sitting outside the church at fucks knows what time on a Sunday morning? To punish yourself? Make yourself feel smaller than you already did? Maybe to try and feel something? God knows. Literally.

Maybe only God knows.

Or maybe Joshua knew. Maybe he did. Maybe that was why he always looked at you the way he did. His chocolatey eyes softening in such a unique way, the way you felt your inside twisting around; grinding against each other like the gears of a car that refuses to start, aching against your ribs.

Maybe it was the way his gentle hands, big and capable, would wave your way every Monday morning, or open the door for you as you’d rush up towards him with an awkward haste while muttering a thank you before ducking your head, and leaving with just as much haste. Your cheeks reddening as you’d blame the cold air, or the sweltering heat, or the fact you’ve been busy, or whatever other reason you could masquerade your flushed cheeks each time you came into contact with such a man; a good man; far too good.

Why was he so nice to you?

He was nice to everyone. That’s why.

But as he stood outside, his eyes on you, you couldn’t move. You could only watch. Ignoring the bodies as they entered the church; greeting Joshua as he shook hands, smiled warmly, his eyes leaving you each few seconds before meeting you again—as if beckoning you forward, ‘join me, find God. Find me, lost lamb.’ You heard him call.

Not today.

As he pulled up the trousers the cut sliced a tad deeper than expected, but you sucked it up and got to work; cleaning the wound before checking it to see how much damage he dealt. Meanwhile, Roman sat back with his arms crossed, the fluffiness of his dark hair pushed back from the gear he was wearing before coming back after hours of snowboarding; only discovering his injury after seeing fresh blood droplets on the snow around him.

Like with everything, Roman remained composed as you fixed him up, acting as gentle as you possibly could, “I am not porcelain, love. Do not be so gentle, I can handle it.” His tone almost amused as he watched down at you, love in his stormy eyes.

— LATEN REED.

With rugby comes scrape and bruises, sometimes broken bones. Laten’s recent game scored him a nasty gash against his chest and a dislocated shoulder, and strict orders from the doctor to rest up. Since Laten struggle to sit down for more than one minute, it was your job to anchor him.

“Ouch,” Laten whined as you maintained the cleanliness of the stitches across his chest, his shoulder aching as he groaned dramatically. “I’m good now.”

“No, it needs to be cleaned properly, stay still.” You ordered, Laten obliged but not without huffing as he slowly sank back into the sofa, a pout across his plump lips.

— JAE ‘NIKO’ LEE.

Jae’s job is more emotionally draining than anything, almost always returning home with eye-bags and strolling straight over to bed. That day he came home with bruises covering his body, a variety show gone too far, leaving him battered and exhausted.

He would have gone straight to bed if it weren’t for your apparent concern as you lifted his t-shirt in complete horror, “it’s nothing.” He shrugged, but a hint of a smile underneath it all as he ate up your worry for him.

As you pulled him to the sofa, biting your lip as you continue to check him over, the softness of your hands melting against his sore skin—bringing him back home and with a clear mind, ‘home’ is what he thought.

— KAIDAN WOLFE.

Kaidan’s fun idea of skateboarding while holding onto the back of his (influencer) friends car as he drove went completely wrong and ended him having a twisted ankle, but he shrugged it off with a wispy laugh.

As he settled into bed, he muffled the whimpers of pain to avoid your attention; it didn’t work.

“Kai.” You say, looking at him. He hesitated to turn around as he bit down into his lip. “Show me.”

“I-. O-okay.” He visibly gulped before lifting his legs up, showing the sheer size difference between the two as the left ankle was swollen and blooming in dark and thick bruises. “I didn’t want to bother you, I’m sorry…”

— HAYDEN WEST.

“Oh, it’s nothing.” He said, rolling his sleeve down over his badly wrapped up injury, and of course you weren’t going to allow him to get away with it.

“Sit.” You tapped your finger on the seat beside you, your eyes closing in on him as he slowly nodded, sitting down and without asking he lifted his sleeve, as you gently pulled away the tape that held the thin layered gauze from the scratches from his arm, you gasped, “what happened?!”

“I tried to feed a stray cat and it attacked me..” he laughed a little at himself, and it would have been funny if cleaned and wrapped it correctly, to avoid the risk of infection.

“Hayden, you should have come to me.” You shook your head before taking care of him, a soft smile on his lips before kissing your cheek.

“Thank you.” He said meekly.

— JOSHUA WHITE.

Joshua’s palm bled into a small pool as he shifted towards the sink, washing away the blood carefully while inspecting it, his dark eyes checking the cut for any real damage. Luckily it wasn’t a terrible cut.

Seeing the blood on the kitchen knife and floor sent you in a mild panic as you rushed towards him, his eyes slowly moving to you before smiling gently, “I’m okay, darling. Pass over the box will you?” He asked politely, his calming nature calming you down also as you passed him a towel, “wrap it around your hand, stop the bleeding.”

On the island of his kitchen you helped him clean and wrap up the palm of his hand, kissing your knuckles he passed you a warm smile, “thank you, love, you didn’t need to help.”

— BLAKE CROSS.

“I’m fine, stop overreacting.” Blake muttered, but his shit-eating grin told you that he loved your attention as you inspected the grazes on his back.

Apparently he fell over and skidded on the gravelled outside the house but refused to tell you how or why, but judging by the selection of lined that scraped his back told you that the dirt bike the lay strewn across the grass told you its own story.

Pressing a damp towel on his back, his skin soothed underneath your touch and he quietened his complaining as he instead began to breathe calmly, enjoying the silence between you two and your caring hands.