Nerd at Heart

The initial reason these suddenly stopped was because of the podcast. In November of 2020 I came up with the idea of taking these analyses on the road and making them a full blown podcast for season two. I asked my friends if they’d dive head first into the abyss with me and for some reason they agreed haha. None of us had ever done a podcast before. We had a few fic writers, an artist, the best editor in the fandom, a couple of badass executive producers. We took these write ups as a template and ran with it to create Crime. Scene. Analysis., our Prodigal Son podcast. Long story short. We needed time to prep and pray we could get it up and running by the beginning of season 2. Turns out we did. And we got to film/produce 13 amazing episode recap shows. We even got to interview Dr. Ainger (a neuroscience expert and consultant for Prodigal Son) and Nathaniel Blume, the show’s musical composer. Yes, I got to do that interview and yes, I was internally fangirling the entire time I spoke with him. 

After season 2 ended and the cancellation happened. It FUBARed my ability to write anything. I’d invested a lot of myself in the show and it took some soul searching to figure out who I was/am going to be without it, without this podcast we had built from the ground up, just in general. 

But I owe it to myself and you insanely sweet and kind folks to at least finish these up so we can have a complete set. 

Thank you so much to those who messaged me and asked about them. It fueled my drive to come back to them. 

Ok so now that that’s out of the way… 

There’s so much to discuss about the symbolism of the title of this episode. I’ll touch more on particular moments throughout the episode but if you really think about it. “The Stranger Beside You” is quite a haunting phrase. With the exception of large public gatherings and transit, if someone is beside you, that close, you likely have a bond or relationship of some kind with said person. You know them enough to let them into that personal space bubble. That implies trust, knowledge of their character, etc. To call someone so close to you a stranger implies that everything you think you know about them is a lie; it’s false, a front. The idea of the person beside you, both physically and perhaps metaphorically actually being a stranger is jarring, horrifying actually. 

:01 - Right out of the gate we open with none other than The Beach Boys! One of their many hits “Wouldn’t It Be Nice”. Given Malcolm’s usual taste for the classics it’s not shocking that this would be a song playing on his record player. In a moment, however, we are about to learn that this is, infact, a dream, or nightmare depending on your POV. Here’s why this song is so well placed then. Lyrics like “wouldn't it be nice to live together In the kind of world where we belong?” or “Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up

In the morning when the day is new?” take on a whole new meaning. That paired with the melody and upbeat flow of the song start us off thinking that surely this new found relationship with Eve is going well. 

:17 - Shoutout to the CGI “steam” coming off these muffins. Because that's a thing that definitely happens when you cook muffins to the correct time and consistency... ? 

:35 - “I thought you said these were blueberry.” 

Okay folks, this convo ISN'T ABOUT THE FRUIT IN THE MUFFINS! Although that being said there’s clearly a reason the writers chose cherry as opposed to any of the other possible fruits one could muffinize. But that’s an article for Freud to write, not me. Moving on. 

This entire convo is about the fact that in this dream Eve blatantly lies to Malcolm’s face. The evidence is there. The muffins are not blueberry. And yet she vehemently calls them cherry to his face. This is Malcolm’s subconscious telling him she’s a liar ,he needs to listen to the facts of the situation, and trust his own gut instincts when it comes to her. His gut is usually right. 

Side bar: Since it’s been a minute. Full disclosure if anyone’s forgotten. I CANNOT STAND EVE. Loved Molly Griggs; the actress played her incredibly well. But IMO she was a manipulative wench who lied to both Jess and Malcolm and literally SLEPT her way to the information she wanted. Malcolm/Dani stuff aside, I’m not here for the “Oh but then I REALLY fell in love with you” trope NOPE. If you love someone you don’t use them and deceive them in that manner. Full stop. 

Sunshine being the voice of reason in any given moment is something I’m here for! MVP. 

Notice how The Beach Boys instantly fade out here and we shift musically to our typical creepy and suspect sounding strings. Oh, how I’ve missed this. Once again, any time Malcolm is in danger, or when something perhaps poses a threat to Malcolm ::cough:: Eve ::cough:: the strings are choppy and quick. Symbolic of his heart rate rising, the intensity of the moment building.

Love that Malcolm is now fully aware that this is indeed a dream and is waiting for the “scary thing” to happen. Poor kid. 

:59 - This close up of Malcolm’s/Tom’s eyes is one of my favorite shots of the entire show. The lighting is usually so dark and dreary. To have those gorgeous blues properly lit is always a gift. 

1:05 - Now “Wouldn't It Be Nice” is actually playing in reality. That’s a nice touch that it underscored both his nightmare and his questionable reality. 

1:28 - In this scene Eve says she’s been “shackling [Malcolm] to the bed every night for two weeks.” in the next scene Ainsley confirms it. Malcolm and Eve have only been reconciled for two weeks. This is relevant for later. FYI. 

2:37 - At this point, Malcolm has no evidence for why he’s suspicious of Eve other than “She came back”. The basis of this poor kid’s suspicion is that someone seemingly cares enough about him to return. That’s not something he’s accustomed to and it tells him that immediately this whole scenario is wrong. Take a moment and digest how incredibly sad that is. 

2:54: 

Ains: “99% of people aren’t serial killers, Malcolm.”

Malcolm: “But we’re part of the 1%.” 

Well this dialogue certainly hits differently when you know the events of the finale and THE ENTIRE SECOND SEASON. 

3:25 - As a woman who has given birth, I hate everything that just came out of JT’s mouth. Gotta love the fantasized world of perfection and post baby body shamers. Yay influencers! 

4:31 - I miss season 1 Edrisa. 

And Season 1 Malcolm hair. 

Sigh.

5:15 - Sneaky camera shots in this scene here. Malcolm is describing the postpartum “cloud of love” that mothers have with their newborns and we get a lingering shot on the nanny, Christine, who we later learn is the actual mother of the baby. 

6:33 - “Why would I ever avoid you?” This line is the first one Tom speaks in this episode that blatantly tells me he is sick. His voice is very raspy in this scene. And it only gets worse as we go, bless him. Fighting through the pain - pre-covid style. 

7:08 - I absolutely adore how Martin’s first assumption is that these dates are with Dani. The way he says her name sends a chill down my spine, but still. It makes me happy. Even Martin see’s it coming. The “Love is in the air” *baby cries* “You work fast” gag is quality as well. 

8:23 - “All I’m saying is there are two sides to Motherhood. The warm fuzzy one and the one where you maim your spouse for eating all the pizza rolls.” 

The first of many clues we get from JT about his impending fatherhood. 

Again speaking as someone who has birthed a child… he’s not wrong. 

8:54 - “Great! Mom’s love me”. Malcolm over here just spitting truth. 

8:58 - Malcolm tries to get Dani to dig up dirt on Eve. 

This entire scene is just awesome.

Malcolm is trusting his instincts enough to try and dig deeper. Meanwhile, Dani is not about to get in the middle of that particular mess. 

Malcolm tries to make light of it and joke “trust issues haha” and she just stares at him straight faced and tells him that’s messed up. 

I am one of those people who appreciates the blunt honesty of a REAL friend. PS I’m that friend, so don’t ask me something you don’t want an honest answer to. 

So, Dani instantly shutting this idea down and refusing, while also scolding him for wanting to do that to someone he is dating is prime! 

9:50 - Someone Get Tom some hot tea, a warm blanket, and some chicken soup. He sounds miserable in this scene. He’s stuffy, his voice is deeper than it usually is, and you can hear him do the I’m definitely sick “Da” sound on the end of words. Like “Fined” instead of “fine” (Friends reference). 

11:08 - “I’m Ainsley, the well adjusted Whitly”

 ::Takes a breath:: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

I’ll take “more dialogue that didn’t age well” for $800, Alex. 

12:08 - This scene right here is one of many that just solidifies Eve being so incredibly manipulative. She knows Ainsley has been looking into her. And that there’s a chance she’s busted. Or at least they’re on to her. And she shifts blame and makes Jess feel guilty about the STONE COLD FACTS that Ainsley found out. She plays the “I’m hurt. How dare you. I should go.” part effectively gaslighting Jess. Nope. Not okay. 

12:31 - Am I the only one who desperately wants to know who Malcolm Bright follows on Instagram? I’m sure there’s tons of profilers, academics in the field of psychology. But my money’s on a few wildcards too. I’m betting Malcolm follows Rihanna just like the rest of us. And about 26 Parakeet accounts as well. 

13:32 - The fact that Malcolm knows so much about the habits of newborns is so heartwarming. Especially since we know from his own mouth that he thinks himself “not really dad material”.

My favorite phrase from Gil “Powell, go with him please.” He practically says it once an episode. Shipping those two since DAY ONE. 

15:31 - Nothing creepier than seeing open eyes on the night vision monitor. I was convinced my son was possessed on numerous occasions. Freaky af! Now throw in the horror strings there when we get that glimpse on the monitor screen. Perfection.

17:48 - British Tom alert! Today’s slip is the word “categories”. Typical American pronunciation of the word puts it at four syllables CAT-UH-GORE-EES. Mr. Payne delivers it with the three syllable British turn: CAT-UH-GREES. 

18:27 - JT/Bright bromance time is my favorite. What’s great about this scene is how different it is from the one Malcolm previously had with Dani. JT delivers the same blatant honesty she did, however his comes from a “I’ve been there, learn from my mistake” standpoint. The fact that Bright is open and honest with both of them about a romantic relationship he’s in shows just how much growth has happened in these two friendships. They’re sharing, giving advice, genuinely trying to help and guide Malcolm. That found family is getting closer to one another every day. 

19:32 - Malcolm has a dinner date with Martin

So much to unpack with this scene. 

Michael Sheen trying to eat dinner while handcuffed to his own waist is both sad and hilarious. Well done sir. 

And then we start discussing the Eve situation

Malcolm: I think she has secrets

Martin: All women do, my boy. It’s one of their best qualities. 

Oh dear lord, am I about to agree with Martin? I’m not sure how to handle this. 

Martin: “Real love is about accepting the parts of another person that are… unknown.” 

Yep. I’m agreeing with Martin. Lace up those ice skates, folks. Hell has frozen over. 

Seriously though. That’s a profound quote, especially considering the mouth from which it came. 

20:58 - “No. We’re not. We’re not having a moment” 

Even Malcolm is like “WTF is going on here?!?!?!” 

The absolute deadpan delivery with which Michael says “Have we ruled out the baby” is pristine. 

26:02 - Ainsley and Jessica reveal the truth about Eve

First off, again in this entire scene Tom sounds incredibly stuffy and sick. That paired with the emotional weight and performance he’s about to give us tells me he must’ve been exhausted after this day of shooting. 

As Ainsley is detailing all the intel she’s learned about Eve, Eve herself enters. Again a shining example of her being incredibly manipulative and gaslighting Malcolm and Jess. 

We get confirmation that Eve is indeed TGiTB’s sister. Most of us put that together half a season ago. Not very shocking. 

“I came here to explain, but I can see now it doesn’t matter. You’ve already made up your mind about me.” 

YES THEY HAVE! 

What exactly were you going to explain? That you lied to get in with Jess? That you lied, and used Malcolm for information about your sister? That you slept with him and emotionally manipulated him all the while having ulterior motives for your relationship with both him and his mother? 

NOTHING YOU CAN SAY MAKES YOU LOOK GOOD HERE MISS! 

Again with the gaslighting, “You’ve already made up your mind”  *pouts and leaves* 

Yep. Sure have. Toodles. 

I could rant about this for days. 

27:35 - The fact that Malcolm still begs her to wait, to stay, is so very telling about how little he thinks of himself. He’s convinced himself that this is probably his one shot at finding someone- no one else would put up with his demons- and even after all she’s done, he pleads for her not to go. It’s heartbreaking how low he thinks of himself sometimes. 

Tom’s performance here is, once again, absolute perfection. 

Oversharing moment - I’ve been there. I’ve been in this moment before. Where everything is falling apart and your brain and your emotions just can't handle anything else. The way he just doubles over, grabbing his head as though it’s about to split in two. The way his hands shake as the betrayal, the hurt, the rage, and the loss surge through him all at once. Your body cannot physically contain the emotions and they burst you open violently. Tom yelling and throwing his phone across the apartment. Every part of this performance is one 100% spot on. Honestly the first time I watched this episode I got chills and a horrible pit in my stomach. It was like watching myself experience that all over again. That’s how you know it was perfect. 

Comic relief side note… can we get the brand name of that phone case? Because WOW. Sturdy af. 

27:53 - When you’re already sick, crying doesn’t help the whole nasal and vocal situation. Now Tom has been crying/almost crying in character and bless him his voice sounds so horrible. What a trooper. 

28:25 - Malcolm is mid breakdown about Eve, about knowing that he’s “damaged goods” and who just so happens to text him and pull him back from the brink? Dani. Brightwell or not. I’m just saying, that text could’ve said JT or Gil just as easily. The writers did that deliberately. Symbolism, baby! 

28:41 - “I can’t solve THIS. This I can solve.” ~ The initial “This” here is the Eve situation. The second being the case. 

If this isn’t a one sentence description of Malcolm Bright in a nutshell IDK what is. Literally his approach to everything. He can’t fix his mental health issues or the fact that his father is a serial killer who ruined his childhood/life. But cases… those he can solve. 

29:07 - Dani confronts Malcolm about being on edge and needing to be on his A game for the case. He immediately tells her what he’s just learned about Eve being TGiTB’s sister. Again this shows so much growth in this friendship. Before, the response would’ve been “It’s nothing” or “I’m fine” to try and skirt past the question and having to share the reality with someone. Now he instantly opens up and shares with her what he’s going through. Even if he declines her invite to talk about it in more detail. It’s progress.  

32:01 - I haven’t gone on a Nathaniel Blume score rant yet this write up, so what better time to discuss this man’s genius? The music that underscores Lucas stalking Alessa actually shares a similar sound with the song “Gotta Give Them a Hand” from the pilot. The pace is slower but the notes are similar. One major difference is that it has more of a screeching and off tune feel. But both have this pulse to them. A consistent thumping that happens to keep you on edge as you watch. 

32:57 - Anytime I hear someone say “Do you trust me?” all I see is Aladdin. Irrelevant to the episode? Perhaps. But here we are. 

33:03 - Gil throwing serious shade at JT’s grandma driving is a whole mood. Why didn’t we get more snarky Gil?!?!??!  

Pour one out for the LeMans. Gone too soon. 

33:38 - The dramatic strings here while Lucas is going after Alessa are delightfully anxiety inducing. And yet somehow beautiful at the same time. 

33:50 - Lucas v. Bright

Shoutout to Malcolm’s gloriously delicious disheveled hair during this entire altercation. 

Biggest casualty of season two. RIP sexy season 1 hair. 

 34:16 - Guess what I caught?!?!?!?!??! 

Blume reuses one of his previous score tracks here. Titled “The Swords of Damocles”, this track originally played while Malcolm was saving/interrogating William Voight from the infamous contraption that hurled swords toward it’s victim in episode 113 “Wait and Hope”. 

You thought we wouldn’t notice didn’t ya, Blume?! Well guess what, Sir… I know all the season one score tracks by heart so HA! 

Looks around. Accepts new nerd level upgrade. 

Can we all sit back and just appreciate that they let our boy actually FIGHT?! Like defend himself and Alessa? Since, you know, he was indeed once in the FBI and he can actually do that. Why do we never get enough Capable!Bright?! 

35:29 - Alessa in full Momma Bear mode coming in clutch. Again as a mother, I have a few things to say about this moment. 

Momma bear protection mode is a VERY REAL thing. There have been moments where I was in a store with my son and the hairs on the back of my neck would stand on end, only for me to look up and see someone very creepily watching us. Biology truly gives us a 6th sense. 

Along with that comes the “protect my cub above all” trigger as well. I am not a violent person by nature (I prefer to slay my foes verbally). But if I ever thought my child was in serious danger, like Alessa does here, I would flip that switch faster than Martin Whitly. 

Pair that literal biology with the fact that Alessa has a newborn, is massively sleep deprived, AND the man threatening her and her child just so happens to have recently murdered her husband… Sis is not playing around. 

As JT so accurately puts it a little later, “That was badass”

36:21 - This still is one of my favorite shots of the entire first season. 

In the foreground, in focus we have Malcolm on his knees, having just fought a suspect and helped to save the victims. His hair is forward framing one side of his face. Somehow, Tom displays exhaustion, gratitude, and hope all at once as he stares at Alessa and baby Nina.

Then who’s behind him? Papa Gil. Looking every inch the strong, reliable father figure to our hero who is again, literally on his knees, hunched over with the weight of his world pressing down on him. Gil is slightly out of focus. Why? Well he’s not the primary focus of this moment, for one. But it’s also symbolic of a constant supporting presence. It may not always be prominent, but it’s always there. 

37:05 - “Classic Couvade Syndrome” 

Ok more JT/Malcolm bonding?!?!?! What did we do to deserve this?! 

Can we start with how sweet it is that Malcolm checks around him before congratulating JT? He makes sure he doesn’t blurt anything out around others. Adorably considerate. 

I love that they allow JT to be real in this scene. To have all those natural fears someone has when they learn they’re going to be a first-time parent. “I don’t know the first thing about being a father.” None of us do. We can read all the books and get all the advice and have all the siblings in the world, but it is a whole other ball game when it’s your kid, and you’re now responsible for keeping this tiny human alive and well. 

A lot of people thought JT went a little too far with the “What if it ends up like you?” line to Malcolm. While it was a bit of a third degree burn, I think it was still a moment of him really thinking about how unprepared he is and how scared he is that, like any new parent, he will cause the child some kind of mental anguish. Malcolm just happened to be a shining example of when a father effs up and royally screws a child over. 

And to his credit, Malcolm doesn’t even bat an eye at the comment. He would’ve had rights to be offended here. But he simply grins and fires back with “First of all, don’t become a serial killer…”

Afterward Bright closes with “Be honest… that’s always the best way” which immediately leads to him exiting the precinct on a mission. He’s clearly not taken his own advice. 

 38:35 - Malcolm and Eve 

Ok remember when I said the “Shackling you to the bed every night for two weeks” line was going to come back. We’ve arrived. 

Assuming the two weeks implies the current day of the opening of this episode: we now see that Eve is returning a key. Which means Malcolm gave her a key less than 14 days into their relationship. I am by no means a prude… but Malcolm, sweetie, she’s not the only fish in this puddle. Slow the eff down hun. Maybe that kind of deep dive into head over heels commitment territory isn’t the most healthy intro into a relationship. 

Yet again, this is a testament to how Malcolm truly believes he is deserving of no one. That no one will be able to look past his issues, his past, and his mental illness and truly love him. As soon as he thinks he’s found someone who does, he is trying to desperately throw massively committal milestones at her much quicker than is typical. 

I say this fully knowing that all relationships are different, but I'm speaking in generalizations here. 

Shout out to Eve for planning on completely bolting in the opposite direction and doing so in letter format no less. How 1864 of her… oh and cowardly as fuck! Yep I said it. After everything you’ve done, the least you could do is explain it to his face. Grr. 

This might very well be the scene that Tom sound’s the worst in. He is INCREDIBLY stuffy. Hell his nose even looks red. This man needs some tissues and vaporub. 

“And then there was you”

::inhales for epic rant:: I’ve already mentioned how much I LOATH the “[does horrible things] but I REALLY love you, though” trope. No. No. NO. NOOOOOO. You do not deliberately manipulate the ones you truly love. You do not start a relationship under false pretenses, fuck them over (literally and figuratively), and then suddenly fall in love, but still LIE TO THEM CONSTANTLY. Even if she really did fall in love, which not buying that, then she should’ve come clean. Instead she continued to manipulate Malcolm for her needs, using him and his resources for her benefit. 

To hate Martin Whitly as much as she does, Eve sure does an amazing impression of him. 

And in true puppy dog fashion - proving my theory that he doesn’t believe himself worthy of genuine, selfless, kind love - Malcolm instantly forgives her. 

Fool me once, shame on you. Walk all over me 18 times, I’ve laid down and repeatedly asked for it. SMH. 

39:43 - Epic shout out to wardrobe for this absolute GEM of a shirt we have Tom in right now. A) the design is kind of mesmerizing and B) Any time we get Malcolm in athletic/casual wear is a gift from the Gods.

Reminder about the first date profile Malcolm gave based on the heart tattoo. AKA: the moment in which the entire fandom went “ooooo she’s related to TGiTB”. Sorry writers, this wasn’t an epic reveal.

Final confirmation that The Girl in the Box’s name is indeed Sophie. Yay for being done with that acronym. 

41:22 - Malcolm offers to identify Sophie as TGiTB (dammit guess I wasn’t done) via a photograph. 

Blah Blah Blah  Eve doesn’t want to because “no relationship can withstand this search for the truth” 

Oh you mean when the truth is revealed, and everything is out in the open, then the relationship won’t last… hmm why would that be I wonder?

OK I’ll stop. It’s just infuriating. 

Oh my word the song cue here. The absolutely gut wrenching piano that plays while the intensity of this moment builds. The song is “Where’s My Love” by SYML. And oh, the lyrics here are on point, people, and not in the way you think: 

Cold bones, yeah, that's my love

She hides away, like a ghost

Does she know that we bleed the same?

Don't wanna cry but I break that way

Cold sheets, but where's my love?

I am searching high

I'm searching low in the night

Does she know that we bleed the same?

Don't wanna cry but I break that way

Did she run away?

Did she run away, I don't know

If she ran away

If she ran away, come back home

Just come home

I got a fear, oh, in my blood

She was carried up into the clouds, high above

If you've bled, I bleed the same

If you're scared, I'm on my way

Did you run away?

Did you run away, I don't need to know

If you ran away

If you ran away, come back home

Just come home

Sophie much?!?!?!?!?!?!? I mean the symbolism practically slaps you in the face. 

42:14 - Now for all the complaining I’ve done about Eve the character, I want to give HUGE props to Molly Griggs here (the actress who plays her). She was sublime in this scene. While I find Eve’s actions unforgivable, I am typically the person most likely to find the villain relatable (Cough Loki obsession). To do that you have to see the events through their eyes, think like them, understand their motives. Wow I sound like Bright. Seriously though, villains are the heroes from their point of view. 

In this scene specifically I adored how Griggs delivers the terror of potentially having her sister’s identity confirmed by Malcolm. Not only would that validate the loss of her sister, but it would effectively end a years-long purpose to her life. In the same breath she wants to know. She has to know. The entire reason for this search is to learn the truth. That’s a lot to handle in one swift moment and she delivers that kind of gravity beautifully. 

42:27 - Malcolm opens the file, looks at the photo of Sophie and instantly we get a montage of flashbacks to moment’s in which he saw her as a child. All the while the song crescendos. The lyrics “Did you run away? Did you run away? I don’t need to know '' get louder and louder and the images and music form this chill-inducing cocktail of amazing film-making. Scenes like this are why I love TV and Film. 

And we see her. Sophie’s body. It’s her.

42:53 - In yet an even more genius move, as Malcolm tells Eve “I’m sorry. Your sister’s dead”. The music abruptly halts. There’s no sound at all other than his whispered confirmation and Eve’s sobs.

For a few short seconds all the build that just happened musically is sucked away and all you hear is devastation.  

It’s haunting. It’s beautiful. It’s brilliant editing.

And just like that, the piano returns slowly fading to the credits, as Eve cries and Malcolm holds her. 

One of the most moving endings to any of the 33 episodes we were graced with. 

CHAPTER 1

Dani watched as Malcolm dropped the sample of beige powder into the tiny ampoule, sealed it, and shook it gently. Almost immediately, the once-clear liquid transformed into an opaque mahogany. The corners of his mouth twitched upward and he caught himself before looking over at her, nodding approvingly.

“Looks like we have a deal.” She extended her hand toward the man in front of her, Andre. He was only slightly taller than she was, with a complexion similar to her own. His eyes however, were almost copper. If she knew nothing about him, Dani would probably admit he was relatively attractive. Knowing him, however, squashed that quite quickly. Behind Andre stood JT, arms crossed, looking every inch the imposing hired muscle he was pretending to be. An impressive feat considering the size of the mammoth guard next to him.

Andre’s hand got halfway to shaking Dani’s, before he pulled back, his eyes bouncing speculatively between the detective and her partner beside her. They squinted as the wheels in his head turned almost visibly. She could feel the shift in the air around them. Something was wrong.

“I remember when you ran with Desir’s crew.” A Cheshire cat grin spread ominously across his face, “Damn did you know how to party.”

Behind her, Dani heard Malcolm shift his weight in aggravation. The longer she let this conversation go on, the more of a liability he would become. Malcolm Bright was not one to stand back and watch his friends be wronged.

Time to redirect, she decided.

“I’m not a hostess anymore. I work for myself now. Make my own decisions.”

“Do you?” Andre’s tone shifted in an instant, sending a chill down her spine. It wasn’t a genuine question. It was an accusation. That she was lying.

Shit.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” She recovered quickly and spat the words as indignantly as she possibly could.

“It means… I think you should test the product, Dani. You know, for verification purposes.” Andre crossed his arms at his waist. The challenge had been extended.

Without missing a beat she replied, “I don’t mix business with pleasure.”

Andre chuckled at her attempt to wave off the issue. “That may be. But, see, I have a problem trusting people. And right now this,” he gestured toward her and Malcolm, “is feeling an awful lot like a set up.”

Bright stared daggers at him, “I’m more than happy to take my substantial clientele elsewhere.”

Dani could feel the anger radiating off of her partner a foot behind her. It was practically tangible.

Andre simply laughed and returned the profiler’s glare.

This needs to get diffused. Now.

Before she could think of something, Andre turned to the behemoth of a man behind him holding a briefcase and beckoned him forward. He pulled the small plastic bag out of his pocket once again. This time he deliberately faced them, opened it, and softly tapped, creating a line of cocaine on the briefcase. Once he’d finished he stood, open armed, inviting her.

“I’m gonna need you to give a little show of faith, Dani. We all know cops can’t sample the merchandise.” His face was grave and menacing. “So prove to me that you aren’t cops”

*******

Two weeks ago

Dani opened the door to the precinct with purpose, caramel latte in hand. JT and Malcolm were already in the conference room chatting emphatically about something she couldn’t quite make out. It bothered her being the last of the three to get there. Her father’s “on time means early” mentality had managed to take root in her even in her teenage years. But, when Gil texted them at midnight telling the team to get to work an hour early for a briefing, she knew coffee was going to be a necessity.

She quickly draped her jacket over the back of her chair and rushed into the side door of the conference room. The two men greeted her and the three of them speculated as to the reason for the urgent meeting. JT was convinced there was an internal investigation happening since they would’ve just gone to the crime scene if it was another murder.

Valid point.  

Malcolm, however, was still arguing that there might be some kind of very high profile murder or kidnaping. Arguing. Hoping. Either way he was overly enthusiastic, as per usual.

“Nothing happened after I left yesterday?” JT asked.

“Not that I know of. I was only a few minutes behind you,” she took a tentative sip of her, still piping latte.

“Well, if he called Bright in, then it’s definitely not good.”

Dani smirked up at the profiler, who playfully rolled his eyes.

“Very funny.”

Before the ribbing could continue, Gil strode through the door, slowly closing it behind him. He didn’t sit. Instead he kept his back to them and rubbed his forehead with his hands.

After a few minutes of pacing and refusal to look in their direction, Gil defeatedly turned to face his team. There were bags under his eyes. He looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept a wink all night.

This is bad, Dani thought, an anxious weight pressing down on her shoulders as she awaited whatever news had brought their boss such turmoil.

When the lieutenant finally looked up, his eyes went directly to hers. Their gaze was foreboding and full of worry. Though she couldn’t manage to look away, Dani could feel the other two heads in the room turn toward her. It took her a moment to find her voice.

When she did, she cleared her throat before asking softly, “How bad?”

Gil dropped his eyes and ran his hand down his goatee, “I got a call last night right after you left. Vice is requesting you for a UC op.”

She shook her head, confused. That wasn’t exactly news worthy. She’d been borrowed by vice loads of times since she left them for Major Crimes. “Okay. Why is this a problem exactly?”

He took a breath and exhaled, his eyebrows furrowed with concern, “They want Dani Rodriguez specifically.”

Dani’s stomach lurched. A cavalcade of memories flooded her mind so quickly it made her dizzy. JT stared open mouthed across the table in shock, while Malcolm tried to piece the puzzle together with the limited information he’d been given.

“I was up all night trying to block the request. I tried everything I could think of. Called in favors. Pissed a lot of people off. But… brass are playing their trump card. There’s nothing I can do.” He leaned down to meet her gaze again. Dani didn’t even realize she had all but zoned out. The emotional overload had short circuited her ability to respond. When she didn’t speak he continued, “I did manage to negotiate our way into the op.” He nodded around the room, “All of us,” before returning to her. “So you don’t have to go in alone.”

At that Malcolm seemed to have figured out the situation and he lowered his head, understanding the gravity of it all now.

“I’m sorry, Powell,” Gil’s apology felt like a final sentencing.

There was no getting out of it.

“What's the play?” Her stare never shifted and her voice was practically a whisper.

For a second the lieutenant paused, gauging her reaction intently. Once he had accepted this as her reaction, he slowly sat down and slid case files across the table to his team members. “Andre Patton has been on Vice’s radar ever since Xavier Estime left the game.”

“Patton?” Dani racked her brain trying to put a face to the familiar name, but came up with nothing.

“For a while the Haitians had a bit of a power vacuum. Several guys tried to step up; each of them ended up in the morgue. Unis found one in a dumpster on Foster Ave., another dead in his car on Bedford, and the third took his final swim in the Prospect Park lake.”

“No suspects?” JT asked without looking up from the papers in front of him.

“Andre was always suspected, but they couldn’t actually connect him to the murders. Since then he’s been running the show in Flatbush. And by ‘running the show’ I mean tripling the amount of product the Haitians are moving.”

At that Dani’s head whipped up, “Tripling? How is that even possible? They were already a large-scale distributor.”

Gil nodded, “Thus Vice’s concern. They’re selling more, because they’re waging a street by street war on the turf boundaries. So, now there’s three times the cocaine rolling around Brooklyn AND--”

“Bodies are starting to drop at an alarming rate,” Bright finished, clearly ahead of them in the file.

“Exactly.”

“And now Vice is desperate,” Dani added, exhaling a full deep breath. Her fingers intertwined in front of her and she leaned forward, resting her head against them.

Her teammates watched, none of them making a sound. Instead they allowed her to process the information and the entire situation on her own terms. Four minutes passed. In complete and total silence. And they simply waited for their partner to be ready to continue.

There wasn’t a single thing she could do, though. She had no choice but to agree to the op. Begging out of the assignment meant revealing exactly why she didn’t want to return. And doing that meant her career was over.

Three pairs of eyes were fixed on her. The three best friends she had. Her family. The only men she truly trusted, if she was being honest. This time they would be there. And that was the only thing keeping her from losing it in this moment.  

Dani straightened up and again took a calming breath, “How exactly are they reinserting me?”

Taking that as permission to proceed, Gil handed each of them another file, “Here’s your covers. You know the drill. Learn them front to back, upside down and inside out.” He briefed the team on each person quickly. “JT you’ll be coming in on Andre’s side. Word is he’s looking for a lot of muscle to protect all that extra product. That’s where you come in. Powell, you’re once again Dani Rodriguez. Formerly a hostess girl at Siklòn. Friends with the for-all-they-know ‘now deceased’ Xavier Estime.” He paused and turned to the detective, “You can’t place Patton?”

She shook her head, “Maybe once I see him. But he wasn’t a major player when I was there.”

“Okay. We have to assume that he knows about the events that occurred on your last day at the club.”

There it was.

Spoken so nonchalantly, as though Gil was giving her directions to the nearest train station.

All the members of her team knew about her past, about what had happened that night. But it was the open secret they never talked about. A wound that would never completely heal. One that was about to get reopened in a magnificent and probably tortuous fashion.

Gil continued, “Just… be prepared for him to bring that up at some point.”

She nodded.

“That being said, since the incident, Dani Rodriguez has made a name for herself in the high-priced escort arena.” Dani glared up at him and rolled her eyes. “Running not partaking,” he clarified, before turning to Bright. “That's how you met Malcolm Hunter: Dealer to New York’s mega elite. If they’ve got a multi-million-dollar trust fund, a building with their name on the side, or a grammy nomination,” he jabbed his pointer finger in the profiler’s direction, “you supply ‘em.”

Bright nodded in approval.

“Powell you met him on the job, conversation happened, you brought up your previous employer and Malcolm asked you if you could set up a meet.”

“Got it,” she affirmed.

“JT you’re on the ground tonight. You’re headed to Siklòn. Brady from Vice is going with you. You two will get into an altercation in a very conspicuous manner and you will win.”

The detective raised his eyebrows, “How conspicuous?”

“Make sure you get Patton’s attention.”

“Nice.”

Gil motioned to Dani, “Powell once JT is in and we have ears on the Haitian side, you’ll get word to Andre that Mr. Hunter here is interested in doing some business. Set up the meeting and report back.” He picked up three overstuffed manilla envelopes, the final items that lay in front of him, read the labels, and distributed them accordingly. “Here’s the IDs, credit cards, and personal effects for each cover. Burners for everyone.”

“It’s like Christmas morning,” JT joked.

Malcolm huffed a laugh, as he looked over the supplies.

Dani stared down at the license she’d pulled from the envelope. Her heartbeat thumped in her ears. It was the same one. They didn’t even bother updating the picture. Bile rose in the back of her throat. She could hear the exact song that pounded from the speakers, feel the bass as it pulsated through the floor and into her bones as she convulsed, foam oozing from the corners of her mouth…

“Dani?” Malcolm’s voice broke through the haze, pulling her from the waking nightmare. He didn’t voice the concern that emanated from the pair of crystal blue orbs analyzing her. But it was there, searching for a sign that she was going to be okay.

I’m not, she answered silently.

“I’m fine.”

She didn’t dare look up at him. If there was any hope her lie had fooled him, it rested on them not making eye contact.

Gil saved her. “Okay, go home, learn your covers. Be ready. Phones are on you at all times. And once you leave this precinct you do not come within one hundred yards of it for the duration of this op. Your alias numbers are programmed in the burners. I’m listed as Mr. Dodge, because apparently someone in tech thinks they have a future in stand up comedy.”

That did bring a smile to Dani’s face. JT and Bright found it downright hilarious. Grateful for the distraction, she grabbed her things and swiftly exited the conference room.

*******

Dani squeezed her eyes together and rubbed her temples in an effort to quell the headache that raged between them. She glanced down at her watch and immediately fell backwards in a contorted position onto the couch. Four hours. That’s how long she’d been drilling her cover. Not that it actually took four hours to learn. She had it memorized at about the one hour mark. The rest of the time it was simply a distraction, an avoidance, an attempt not to think about what would inevitably happen next.

As she lay there, she could feel herself fading in and out of stress-induced sleep. The purgatory between being awake and fully falling was filled with horrific images, memories she tried every day not to think of. When sleep finally won over, it was anything but peaceful:

*

“Dinner!” her mother called, setting a heaping serving of beef roast, carrots, and potatoes down at Dani’s seat.

The sixteen year old didn’t waste any time getting to the table when her favorite meal awaited. She slipped into her usual seat by the wall, her mouth watering in anticipation. Even though her father, Charles, had switched to second shift over a month ago, there was a full place setting in front of his chair.

“Mom, you did it again,” she teased as her mother rounded the corner of the kitchen.

Michelle rolled her eyes at herself and shrugged, “One of these days I’ll remember.”

Once her mom was seated as well, Dani proceeded to practically inhale the meal that lay before her.

Michelle chuckled under her breath at her daughter’s eagerness.

“Don’t judge me,” Dani ordered, joining her mother in laughter. “This is your fault. If you weren’t such a good cook I wouldn’t do this.”

Dinner passed with casual conversation. The usual questions about her day: “How was school?” “What are your friends up to?”. That conversation came to an abrupt halt when they were interrupted by a firm knock on the door.

A knock. Not the buzzer.  

Her mother didn’t make eye contact with her. She’d stopped, fork midway to her mouth, frozen in place. Dani too couldn’t make her limbs move. Her eyes bounced back and forth between the door and her mom. A second knock came, bringing with it ice water that flooded her veins. Her arms started to shake. The air in the room felt heavy and thick.

A third knock.

Somehow, her mom found the strength not only to stand, but to actually walk toward the door. As she watched, a lump formed in Dani’s throat. It blocked her ability to breathe but was impossible to swallow. When her mother’s trembling hand turned the knob and slowly pulled it open, her father’s partner, Don, stood in the doorway.

Dani didn’t remember standing, much less moving toward her mother. A deafeningly high-pitched ringing filled her ears. It was the only thing she could hear. She watched in horror as he mother’s mouth opened and her knees gave out. Dani froze mid stride, grateful for the fact that she couldn’t hear the blood-curdling scream that was exiting her mother.

The sound of a heart physically breaking in two.

Don caught her mother and sat with her on the floor in the middle of their doorway. He held her while she wailed, his own silent tears joining hers.

Dani watched them for only a moment before turning away. The visual of her mother completely broken was too much to bear. She found herself back in her seat at the table, staring lifelessly at the items on her plate. They no longer made sense. Food seemed foreign, useless. The names were nothing. Potato. Fork. Everything had lost its meaning. Its purpose. The entire Earth had suddenly shifted on its axis, tilting. Forever changed.

The ringing in her ears slowly started to fade, though what she heard made her pray it would return. Anguish. Misery. Grief in its rawest form filled the apartment. Shrouded everything in darkness and despair.

Dani never moved. Her mother attempted to comfort her, to turn her head and hug her. But Dani’s entire body was stiff, immobile, frozen in time. All she could do was stare at the empty place setting at her father’s chair.

Where he would never sit again.

*

Dani jerked awake, throwing herself upright and gasping for air. It took her a moment to realize where she was and why. Her blouse, damp with sweat, stuck uncomfortably to her as she leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

A low, miserable groan grew slowly louder as it left her lips. It filled the living room, just as the cries from her mother had all those years ago...

“NYPD show yourselves.” Dani leaned to the left as the storage unit door rolled up. Peering into the darkness, she told Malcolm, “I can’t see anything.”

The profiler stepped forward. “The lights are automated. They should come on if,” he waved his arms and a single light on the wall opposite them came to life. “Now.” A tiny ta-da exited via his hand and he led the way into the room.

No one was there. His heart sank. Nevertheless he drank in everything around him, searching for anything, any breadcrumb that could continue his pursuit.

The unit wasn’t large by any stretch of the imagination, but it was strategically packed with an astonishing amount of items for such a small space. Shelves were stacked with bins and boxes. Medical equipment and oxygen tanks lined the floor. Malcolm’s mind was chaos, frantically profiling everything he saw to try and find another clue, something that would lead him to his father.

His eyes reached the shelves on the far end of the unit and the profiler froze. There were enough meds to start a pharmacy. Bottles, syringes, vials everywhere, each filled with a cavalcade of opioids, benzos, and beta blockers. Clearly Dr. Capshaw was up to something. Whatever it was, his father was at the center of it now. They had to find him.

“They’re not here. It’s over.” Dani’s voice floated over his shoulder, trying to convince him it was a dead end.

Malcolm knew otherwise and approached the shelf to examine the meds more closely.

“Hey. I did this for you because you needed it. How about you show me the same respect?”

While he read through the labels, the back of his mind registered what she had said. Did she really think he didn’t respect her? Her of all people?

Making sure to turn and look her in the eye as he spoke, Malcolm replied, “Dani, I respect you,” before reverting back to the stacks of pills before him. “Come over here. Fentanyl,” he held up a vial, “Other opiates. Paralytics. Beta blockers. Sedatives.” He looked up at her as though this explained everything. It was obvious wasn’t it? How could it not be?

When she responded, “She’s a doctor. It’s not enough,” anger surged through him.

HOW?

Tossing the meds aside he half yelled, “When will it be enough?! I need you. I’m not a cop, but I have been right before when everyone else is wrong. And I am telling you, I am right on this.”

Dani broke eye contact with him for a moment, then returned her eyes to him; pity but also defiance stared him in the face.  

A lump formed in the back of his throat. Fear creeped up his spine.

“We are running out of time to save him.”

She took a breath as though she were going to respond. Instead, she looked away from him.

She doesn’t want to.

“You don’t care,” The realization hurt far worse than he’d expected. “None of you care if my father lives or dies.”

Finally, Dani spoke, the truth of her feelings revealed, “And what if he did?” Her dark eyes penetrated his. “I’ll tell you what. You would be free.”

Free.

The thought brought a tidal wave of emotions with it: confusion, hope, guilt. They swirled violently in his mind, too much to bear. Malcolm dropped his head, his trembling hand practically vibrating at his side. In a move that genuinely surprised him, Dani took it in hers and held it tightly in front of them.

What was happening?

The gesture almost broke him. Tears welled in his eyes and the back of his throat stung as he spoke. “What if I need--” the rest of the sentence choked off. Dani’s eyes were hypnotic, holding his stare. “What if he makes me who I am?”

Without hesitation Dani replied, “Martin Whitly is a cruel and violent man.”

Malcolm knew she was right. The logical part of his brain screamed that at him on an hourly basis. But that wasn’t the part of him that longed to find his father.

She continued, her face softening as she spoke, “You are none of those things.”

His head tilted to the side. A warmth spread through him at her words, replacing the anger and fear.

“Let him go, Malcolm,” Dani implored. “I’m begging you. You could have a life.” She stopped.

Was that sentence complete? Or was there more- something she couldn’t bring herself to say aloud? As if she heard his thoughts, Dani pursed her lips, a nervous confirmation of his hope. The weight of those unspoken words hung in the space between them, heavy and dense. His thumb brushed across the top of her hand.

Her umber pools somehow managed to consume him and make him forget everything else. There was something more behind them. Something he had never seen from her before. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, as a physical charge filled the air around them. It intensified exponentially by the second, building. His muscles were tense, tightly wrapped coils ready to spring.

His body made the decision for him, leaning forward of its own accord. Dani’s did the same, her lips parting in preparation. They crashed into one another and Malcolm’s hand grabbed the back of her neck, pulling her to him. Nothing about the kiss was chaste, the way a typical first kiss might be. It was over a year’s worth of pent up intensity finally being set free. An explosion of unspoken feelings, hurt, anger, and passion.

Malcolm gasped for air whenever he could, sacrificing breath for the taste of her mouth on his. Her hands grabbed his waist and pulled him against her. Their torsos met, touching in places he’d only imagined. His tongue found hers and they both huffed an exhale of frantic pleasure. Malcolm’s free hand wrapped around her, his body pushing against her hard enough that she backed into the shelf with an audible thud. Neither of them even acknowledged it, continuing to devour one another.

Dani fisted his hair while his hand snaked its way up her body. She cooed into his mouth when he found her breast and his hips bucked in response, grinding against her center. The pressure, the friction was everything. Both of them moaned in unison. Their kiss deepened and reached a boiling point. Without warning Dani pulled back only a few inches. They paused just long enough for him to see the same hunger he felt reflected back at him in her eyes.

Then Dani kissed him again, the decision made. Her hands found his belt and went to work undoing it. Malcolm did the same, while she kicked off one of her boots. Their lips only parted in brief spurts as they pulled their clothing out of the way.

Dani wrapped a leg around him, the warmth of her center calling to him, and Malcolm pushed forward. She inhaled in a gasp; he exhaled in absolute pleasure. Then he rocked his hips in and out, as both of them attempted to keep quiet. It wasn’t working. Despite his best efforts, Malcolm couldn’t contain himself. He grunted and breathed heavily into her ear each time he moved, losing himself in the feel of her. Tiny cries escaped Dani’s lips, sounds that drove him wild.

Malcolm bent his knees and reached down. Dani understood. She grabbed the bars of the shelf for balance while he wrapped both her legs around him, thrusting with new fervor. He forced himself deeper and deeper, her body coaxing his release with each pump. He hit a particular spot and Dani bit her lip to keep from crying out.

“Yeah?” he asked, the thought of causing her that much pleasure brought the beginnings of his climax, the tingling between his legs started to build.

She couldn’t form a verbal response and nodded emphatically. Her hand grabbed his neck roughly while she whispered, “please” under breath over and over again. Malcolm sped up, watching her face for approval. When her eyes rolled back he kept that pace. He felt her tighten around him as she came, the shelf behind her shaking with their movements. The waves of her pleasure squeezing and releasing finished him. He buried his head in the nape of her neck and stilled inside her, pulsating his own release.

After the high of their orgasms waned, Malcolm pulled back. The two of them stared at one another yet again, both trying to process what had just occurred. A deluge of questions fought for prominence in his mind. It was chaos.

In her pocket, now around her ankles, Dani’s phone buzzed. It broke the trance and they each redressed in an awkward rush, Dani pushing her leg through her pants as she answered.

“Hey, Boss.”

Malcolm tucked in his shirt and did his buckle, completely missing the conversation between Gil and Dani. All he could think about was how her face looked as the pleasure took over, how it felt to be inside her when it happened.

She ended the call and straightened her blouse, then cleared her throat as if she were going to speak. The second their eyes met whatever it was she had intended to say disappeared.

They stood in the storage unit, intimately close yet somehow miles apart, and stared at each other, neither sure of what to say.

What to do.