old blog, moved to anestheticghost

what is it about gimme! gimme! gimme! by ABBA that makes me feel like i'm a master criminal committing a heist

the lyrics say gimme a man after midnight, but the music says jewel thief dodging lasers and swinging from grappling hooks before driving away from the cops in a high-speed chase on my sleek hot pink motorcycle

someone once said the definition of modern art is it still elicits as strong an emotional response in you as classical art but you can no longer understand or articulate why

*adds a sticky note that reads KILL HIM* to spice things up

my newborn child is exploiting an abusive power dynamic by crying until i give them milk

A lot of people have asked me to explain the whole “stock market” thing to them, and I’ll explain it, and they’ll be like “I still don’t get it,” and I just wanna, like, make it clear:  The problem isn’t you.  The problem is that you’re trying to use your smart rational human brain to understand something which is, on a fundamental level, deeply irrational and incredibly fucking stupid.

“Natalie this still doesn’t make any sense”  yes

Aren't You Tired Of Being Nice? Don't You Just Wanna Tear The Wallpaper Off The Walls

sometimes we are childish. sometimes we do something our 16 year old self would have done, think something our 11 year old self would have thought, cry like our 7 year old self would have cried. why is this so embarrassing? why does it make us feel such shame? when you’re 20, 30, 40, are you not also every age you’ve been before? do all of your previous incarnations not still live inside of you?

Accidentally clicking on the trending tab on youtube is like being transported to a parallel reality where being funny is banned