i love love

my stomach hurts

Ive passed this video so many times and this time I finally watched it. Im really glad I did

I have stared into the abyss and it gave me a thumbs up

[Person behind camera: (sobbing incoherently with laughter) it’s so…. ffffunnny…. ohheheheheh…. (sniffing, snorting, laughing) of all the shit you can find…. So this, this dates back to 19– (sniff) 1999, as you can see up there. (sniffs, laughs) “The Life Sized Satanic Doll Serves as Masturbation Toy for America’s Youth” This is, like, a Baptist website – (cracks up, giggles, snorts) ssfsfsfsfsfssss–stupidest thing… ever seen. So! (sniffs, calms down a little) So, w-what kind of doll was this child … masturbating to? (person scrolls down to picture of Jar Jar Binks, BURSTS INTO UNCONTROLLABLE WHEEZING LAUGHTER, SNORTS, WEEPS WITH LAUGHTER) Aah……oh my god…. aAHAHAHAHAHa….. HAHAHAHAHA….ohmygod…..]

It’s times like this I’m grateful for the people that caption videos.

@hughjackass

@bennygal16

SHE DID THAT

me at the family dinner, sometime in 2036

Every time I see this video, it renews me

It kind of really confuses me when Barbie commercials have little girls dressing them up and brushing their hair Like no Barbie is not about fashion. Barbie is about collecting as many dolls as you can get your grubby 7 year old hands on and dominating the living room with your expansive empire of plastic women. Barbie is about creating intricate social structures and spicy inter-family conflicts between town house residents. Barbie is about formulating complex back stories for tortured Ken dolls with emotional scars. It’s about creating near-sadistic dramatic plot twists that split up marriages and cause that one Barbie you really dislike to be ceremoniously tossed down the stairs in order to be offed by the jealous ex-wife of Ken #4.

Yes, but how do you make it into a marketable commercial that won’t freak parents and caregivers out?

I’ve always had the impression that advertisers don’t really understand how girls play with their toys.

When I played with Barbies I had this thing called “The Dead Pit” which was a purple bratz laundry hamper. So whenever a Barbie got killed off she would go in there. And what I would do was I would carry her to the dead pit while singing the dead pit song. The dead pit song was just saying “The dead pit” over and over again in different tones. Anyway, once I finally reached the pit I would announce “(name) has died.” And drop her in. I would wait a few moments. Then, I would violently shake the hamper while shrieking, pretending to be the tortured souls of dead barbies from the underworld. I thought it was hilarious.

this shit is honestly so fucking real

I had a Cindy and a Ken and one day Cindy was so angry at Ken she ripped off her own leg and beat him to death with it. Then I moved onto the lego. 

If your Barbies’ lives aren’t like Game of Thrones, you’re not doing it right.

When I was 6/7, I buried my Barbie doll in the school’s playground because I wanted her soul to haunt it

I never really had barbies, but when I was a kid I used to play a game called ‘Highway to Extinction’ which was just me jamming a playskool jeep full of dinosaur beanie babies and ramming it repeatedly into a wall

My barbies were basically paint brushes with female bodies for handles.

@jinkxmonsoon Remember this shit?