Sssssss!!! Don't say it, hiss it.

I LIKE TO THINK I’M NOT A COVETOUS PERSON, BUT WHEN I SAW THE LINEUP & LOCATION & THE GENERAL GINNA SAY WHAT OF ANDY ANIMAL’S MELTASIA MUSIC FESTIVAL I WAS FEELING A LOT OF WANT & NEED. I HAVE THE TRAVEL BUG SOMETHING FIERCE, BUT WE’VE GOTTA GET THE PORK SHOP ROLLING ON ITS OWN HERE WITH THE PORKLAND MAIL GOBLIN & GET US A BIG PORK BUS SO WE CAN TOUR THE USA NEXT YEAR. SO I’M RESIGNED TO EXPERIENCING ALL OF THIS AMAZING, FAR-AWAY STUFF VICARIOUSLY, THROUGH THE LIKES OF YOU, UNTIL THEN. AMELIA ANOK TALKED TO ANDY ANIMAL ABOUT HIS MELTASIA FOR PORK! IT’S A PORK APPROVED LINEUP, IT’S IN THE SOUTH WHICH IS CALLING ME & IT’S ANDY ANIMAL SANCTIFIED WITH POSSUM MAGIC. DIGGIT.

AMELIA: Define getting melted.

ANDY: Partying until you melt.

AMELIA: What is your favorite way to get melted?

ANDY: Vodka cranberries and roman candles.

AMELIA: Tell us about your past Upstate New York parties.

ANDY: Just finished the 5th Annual Meltdown up there. The Meltdown Funabration is my birthday party. A few hundred friends and acquaintances come out to Uncle Pete’s campground in Phoenicia once a year and live in total sin for 2 days and 2 nights. Cherie Currie came out and played a bunch of Runaways songs this time. She told me it was the greatest party I’d ever been too. Laying the Meltdown to rest for a while though so I can focus on some bigger fish to fry. Thus MELTASIA.

AMELIA: So this music fest is just like an extravagant Andy Animal party?

ANDY: Well yea, I picked most of the bands. 

AMELIA: And we’re all invited?

ANDY: Absolutely. My Upstate New York Parties I liked to keep more word of mouth but Meltasia is too good to keep under wraps.

AMELIA: How’d you get Nick Turner’s HAWKWIND to play?

ANDY: Asked em. Asking is the real secret. 

AMELIA: Who else is playing? 

ANDY: Cherie Currie, Quintron & Miss Pussycat, Black Lips, Black Oak Arkansas, Hank Wood & The Hammerheads, Bloodshot Bill, Vockah Redu, Crazy Spirit, Daddy Long Legs, The Coathangers, Apache, Cheap Time, Danava, Biters, Shannon & The Clams, Golden Pelicans, Gringo Star, White Mystery, Birdcloud, Dawn of Humans, Rapterous Grief, Barreracudas.. The list goes on - check the website.

AMELIA: Tits?  Rebel flags?  Psychedelics?  Motorcycles?

ANDY: I would assume so, yes.

AMELIA: How do you think this fest’s location being in the South will influence the vibe?

ANDY: It’s in the middle of nowhere and Black Oak Arkansas is playing. To quote the great Jim Dandy, “Stay High cuz you ARE high.”. The vibe will be great. I promise you this.

AMELIA: Southern women versus New York gals? I love them all but Southern women like to ‘squeeze on’ big fat guys like me more and I sure do love the way they talk. Southern women like to talk about food with me.

AMELIA: Tell us about Cherokee Farms.

ANDY: It’s full of big rolling hills, a little lake, some woods. I think this will be the first rock festival they have had. They usually host burning man and raver kinda stuff.

AMELIA: Have you seen a lot of these bands play before?

ANDY: Yeah, I’d say a good amount of them. Some of them just sent me some of there stuff and I gave it the go-ahead.

AMELIA: Where can we get tickets?

ANDY: RIGHT HERE.

AMELIA: Shuzzula’s Cannibal Village?

ANDY: Oh you’ll see. It’s a thing and it’s happening at Meltasia. 

AMELIA: How do you recommend getting there?

ANDY: Planes, trains and automobiles. Atlanta and Chattanooga airports. 

AMELIA: What should we bring?

ANDY: Camping stuff.

AMELIA: What should we not bring?

ANDY: pets, glass, weapons, beer and wine. We will be selling beer and wine at reasonable prices. 

AMELIA: Why are you doing this?

ANDY: Because the world desperately needs it.

AMELIA: Why should we go?

ANDY: Because you will probably get laid. 

AMELIA: Best way to stay up to date? 

ANDY: Facebook.com/meltasiafest

AMELIA: Any last words, Mr. Animal?