välkomna

sorry for being a lovestruck faggot I promise it will happen again

the world is my cuck chair

this is very specific to me as an individual but the easiest way I've found of figuring out how much of an ass a doctor is going to be is just to watch their reaction when they take my vitals. how surprised are they by a fat dude having like, textbook-perfect blood pressure, heart rate, and blood oxygenation? if they make a big deal of the numbers being good or look at the sphygmomanometer like it needs maintenance I steel myself for 15 minutes of bullshit. if they just say something blandly positive and move on, I let my guard down by 17½ percent.

Beautiful: a child has drowned and returned from the other side with a report of going to the afterlife. "When I arrived in heaven I was greeted by a mammoth-headed man who said 'I am Anghprett Vul, sky god of the one true religion'. I asked 'who are you?' and he said 'we visited a tribe of Neanderthals and gave them our teachings but then a landslide killed them'. I asked 'so do I have to bring back your faith and believe in it?' and he said 'we don't really care". Find his book at your local apatheist bookstore today

It's like no one remembers that the wire mother was the only one with milk

all books should be written by deeply damaged autistic perverts