stay away from dumb, gentlemen

“I’m your best friend’s roommate,” Cassie corrected, playfully rolling her eyes at him. “I’ll just have to go a little harsher on ya, huh? To balance it out. For the sake of fairness.”

Andrew was sober enough to realize he felt insulted; he hadn’t even gotten buzzed yet. “Hey, dude, what are you even talking about. We’re friends, Cass. Do you... not think we’re friends?” 

“Oh count me in,” Bo said with a laugh to his tone as he glanced around at the fellow party goers. Whenever he had been approached about tagging along for the Airbnb party, he had been a little apprehensive. Bo was never a fan of leaving his mama behind, but sometimes, he needed some time away to have some good, clean fun. “I’m only two in so I think we both gotta help one another out.”

“Awesome, so I’m thinking I’ll make four, I’ll miss, then you make four, you miss,” Andrew joked. “But really though, it might just be easier to drink. Now that I’m staring at everything.” 

morgan: once i get my pay back i'm sure i'll laugh

morgan: which i gotta think up something good

morgan: they're just lucky i wasn't late to work

morgan: then i might be out for blood

morgan: which how did you not know what they were doing with that much saran wrap?

andrew: revenge is best served cold.

andrew: wait til winter.

“Promise you, man. I’ll be fine.” Of course Andrew landed his first throw straight away, and thus the adventure began. “Crossed is a way of life, my friend. Helps my performance, I can tell you that.” He downed the drink, swiftly, before landing his own throw at the cup, back left.

“Damn dude, okay.” Alright then. Fuck. If Rory was good to go, Rory was good to go. He’d done his job and asked, but now he wanted to play. Even if they apparently weren’t gonna stick to the rules. Andrew gingerly lifted the ball, shook it out, and chugged from the glass, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand when he was done. “So you actually stole my turn,” he pointed out, “so I’m gonna just—” he threw again, the ball landing in the first cup at the top of the pyramid. “Let’s see you drink up, Reilly.”

“Ha, ha. Andrew, you’re so funny.” She playfully rolled her eyes. “I do know what is like to feel lazy. Maybe not often but I do.” It was a rarity, though, Louise couldn’t deny it as she was always full of energy. “And when that happens I read in bed.” As Andrew mentioned moving in Blue Lou winked at him and pointed  at him. “You’d be a lucky man for sure. How are things with you two?”

“Aw thanks Lou.” Andrew laughed. The thought of Louise Jefferson doing nothing and lazing around felt wrong. He couldn’t judge, he didn’t like to sit still for too often unless there was someone to sit still with or a good book. “I’ll take your word for it. Things are good, I think. I like her—” A lot? That seemed juvenile. How he felt about Blue versus what he knew he could feel was comparing a swimming pool to the Pacific. The chess set flashed through his mind. The look on Madison’s face. He shook his head. “Things are really good, it’s so weird, too, we barely knew each other in high school. And now she’s the prettiest girl in town to me.”

Ethan was a nerd at heart. He’d always been reading or doing homework and never complaining, except if it was statistics. He hated statistics. Nodding his head, he replied, “It’s called ‘The City We Became,’” Picking up a ping pong ball that had found on the floor beside him, he dusted off the bit of sand that covered it, “It’s about this dystopian New York where all the five boroughs have to compete against this one big bad guy, which is kind of just represents everything that’s bad about the world.” Tossing it in as he spoke, he narrowly missed, the ball bouncing off the table near Andrew’s side, “Alright, that sounds pretty simple— Shoot.”

“Oh I’ve heard of it,” Andrew said, watching as Ethan just barely missed.  “It just feels like if I read that when I get drunk it’s gonna put me in a bad headspace. Like sometimes these things are a little too close to reality, you know?” 

He’d caught the ball when it’d bounced off the table, so he straightened. “What happened to physics?” 

cassie: omg

cassie: hi! ❤️

cassie: i really thought that he would! and it kinda skewed my expectations that he didn’t?

cassie: it’s not that you wouldn’t, it’s just that i thought he definitely would.

“We have that in common,” Cassie agreed, smiling. She knew it was kinda awkward to keep complimenting him during her literal coming out, but it was just… he didn’t have to hold her hand through it and he was. He was just that kind of guy. She felt like she might be taking advantage of his kindness, just a little. 

His advice was good. About telling people who mattered most and letting it trickle down, but that was the problem with Cassie. That was always the problem with Cassie. She didn’t have people that mattered most. She had friends, but not in the same way Andrew did. Cassie had people she knew; Andrew had roots in the town he grew up in. Even if he had weird feelings about Kai right now, she knew he would push through it because it would be so much harder to cut themselves loose from each other. People didn’t let go of Cassie because they never really held onto her in the first place.

“I guess we kinda have to be friends now, huh? Doesn’t really seem like there’s any movin’ on from this without bein’ friends or just never talkin’ again. Way too serious,” She laughed, still a little weak, rubbing one of her eyes. 

Her stomach flipped and sunk. Everything felt so hollow. She wanted to cry again, suddenly, because this mattered so much but it also just kind of didn’t? If something important happened to Cassie but she wasn’t important enough to anyone for it to be important to them, was it really important? Like one of those if a tree falls in the forest kinda thing. It was just… life-changing for her and nothing for everyone else and god if that didn’t sting. God if it didn’t hurt. God if it didn’t…

Well. It didn’t matter what it did. Because the bell above the door rang and there were their friends, finally, and she couldn’t have straightened up and out from under Andrew’s arm if it was burning her. 

She stood up and cheerily waved them over, grinning. “Hey, y’all! Come sit!” It didn’t even occur to her that it might be an option, to sit down and cry and let them all help her through this. It was bad enough that Andrew had had to. She couldn’t imagine burdening anyone else. “Hope y’all’re ready to order ‘cause me and Andrew’re just ‘bout starved. Haven’t been able to stop talkin’ ‘bout it.”

"We’ve been friends, Cassie,” Andrew told her quietly. He didn’t have time to say much else, though, since she shrugged out of his embrace point zero two seconds after the bell over the door rang, signaling the arrival of the very late Madison, Kat, Kaleigh, West, Kai, and Blue. They all looked varying degrees of apologetic.

The change in Cassie’s behavior was so crazy he almost felt like he’d been talking to a completely different person. They’d gone from a pretty deep conversation to acting like nothing had happened. The whole thing really had nothing to do with him, though. If she didn’t wanna talk about it, she didn’t have to talk about it. 

“I’m so hungry, you losers, what took you so long? I bet Kale couldn’t find her eyeliner.” Andrew laughed, shaking his head. “My growling stomach’s your fault, Kaleigh.” He tried to catch Cassie’s gaze after that, but it was difficult. The moment was gone. 

He hoped it’d come back around at some point. 

“I don’t think he really knew he had me until about a week ago!” She giggled. “I mean… he knew he had me, but he thought he got off easy. But 22 years later I showed up. Life’s a bizarre thing, ain’t it?” She grinned, nodding, taking another sip. She’d probably regret that in the morning, but ah well. Life was far too short. “Well… that’s ‘cause the alcohol’s makin’ me… what feels like a more tolerable version of myself. Seein’ me on a regular day? Like night and day.” she leaned back, looking him over. “Yeah…. that all tracks. I mean, I drank in college a bit. But… yanno, I was with the film kids. We mostly edited. This is… like a culture shock to me! Feels like a movie. And I mean.. I suppose that’s the logical thing to do. But it’s not the fun thing to do!”

This story got wilder and wilder. With Eli and then this, Andrew was so grateful he knew every single girl he’d ever slept with. He could not risk a child showing up on his doorstep out of nowhere, now or two decades into the future. “I don’t think you’d be a different person, just more confident, less of a filter.” He shrugged. “I always thought the film kids were cool. You seem cool. And logical and fun can be the same thing sometimes. You came out to have a good time, you came with friends, you’re in a public place, it seems like you thought it out enough.”

“Maybe I will.” She warned jokingly. Laughing at her friend’s statement of not cooking Louise shook her head. “I could never! Maybe once a week but not every day! Imagine how much I’d spend in take out!” She exclaimed amused. “Well, I’ve had years of practice. I was basically raised at the restaurant’s kitchen. I had to pick on it at some point. I can always teach you a thing or two. Or cook bring you food now and then if you don’t wanna learn. You won’t live withy our parents for ever after all. Will ya’?” 

“No one said every day, maybe like every few days. When you’re feeling lazy. Do you know what that is, by the way, like when people don’t wanna do work so they don’t?” 

“This one thing?” She questioned, actually feeling the anger begin to rise in her again. No, Andrew wasn’t the only one doing things that hurt her. But if he was really that blind to what was happening, how have they been friends for this long? 

“Do you seriously think you letting me eat off your plate and hanging out makes me feel loved? You are the king of dragging people out of beds to hang out. You literally…god, Andrew. I love you, ok? You’re my best friend. But sometimes you are the dumbest boy alive.” She shouldn’t be yelling at Andrew. He was a really good friend. But he was there and saying things that didn’t help make the sinking feeling of never being enough go away. 

“That barrier is only there because you are too afraid to do anything about it. Why don’t you just tell her? Either she’ll feel the same way or she won’t. And then at least you don’t have to sit there and play yourself forever thinking that maybe there could be something.” 

“Kaleigh,” Andrew said, burying his head in his hands. He hadn’t meant to anger her more, he hadn’t meant to upset her. For someone who usually was good with words, he was failing with them now. Couldn’t even string together a sentence to keep his best friend from crying. 

“I am not the king of dragging people anywhere, to do anything. I drag you and I drag West and I drag Peach. And sometimes Kat throws me a bone and actually wants to spend time with me, and then people just show up to places. In all honestly, Kale, I don’t give a crap about a lot of people. I forget things all the time— and not, not like big things, your thing, okay that was fucked up. But like, I don’t remember things about people. Unless I’m looking right at them. I forgot Amelia’s name. I forgot Blue’s name when I met her the first time. And I couldn’t go two days at school without me actually calling you. You know how many people I call? Like, you can look at my phone. I call like five people. You can see my texts, dude, I don’t— My life has a lot of people in it, Kaleigh. But you’re not just people. I’ve always had you right here, and I’m always going to want you here. If I’m over here dragging you out of bed and trying to make sure you eat all the damn time, when am I doing that for someone else? I can’t be in two places at once!”  

He let out a deep breath and tried to lower his voice. At some point he’d gotten off her bed and started pacing the length of her room. “I can’t. I can’t, I’m not strong enough to look at Madison Heine and tell her that I love her, that I’m in love with her, that I am the dumbest boy in the world because she makes my brain stop working every time I look at her. Because I don’t want to know that she doesn’t feel the same way. It’s pathetic. I’ve never been afraid of anything in my life,” Andrew paused. “It’s stupid, I’m sorry. I should have voted for you. I knew how important it was to you and I should have more conscientious. I fucked up, Kale. And I’m so sorry.” 

Rory blinked, nodding. “It’s all good, man. Smooth sailin’ up here.” He bounced the pingpong ball on the table, eyes clued in, to the cups on the other side of the table. “Why don’t you do the honors and start this game off?”

If Rory said he was okay, Andrew had to take his word for it. At least he was surrounded by people and like four volunteer EMTs. “Alright, if you say so,” he said, bending his arm and flicking his wrist. The ping pong ball landed neatly in the center cup. “You sure you wanna get crossed though?”

“bro, riley is sleeping…” kai answered, pulling his hair up into a messy bun, “and if i’m lucky she’ll sleep in ‘till nine tomorrow, i can’t drink anymore or i’m gonna feel like shit tomorrow.” if he had the option to have a babysitter watch riley, then maybe he wouldn’t mind killing a game of beer pong with andrew, but as it was, riley would be up and ready to hit the sand before anyone else. “i’m nursin’ this drink for the rest of the night,” he admitted, swishing the cup around. 

“You don’t have to drink, my dude,” Andrew said, nodding as James Chen stepped forward, his arm in a sling. “I thought of everything, but you’ve got good aim, don’t waste the talent. You throw, James drinks.” 

andrewsterling​:

Sure. Why not. “I mean if everyone else calls you that—” Andrew shrugged. “I mean I don’t have to, I can call you Amelia, if you want. We’re not in high school anymore, it’s been a while, I’d get it. The police department sounds pretty cool, though. Uh, you should tell Leah Delvey I said hi.”

She kept her eyes on him for a moment, before sighing. “I’m not serious. It’s fun to flirt with someone when you know it’s not ever actually gonna go somewhere. Don’t gotta worry about gettin’ any real feelings hurt.” 

Andrew had had that train of thought, actually, and it led him straight to a girlfriend. Again. Whatever had gone down (or not gone down) between two of his best friends was their business— he’d learned his lesson— but he didn’t wanna see Kaleigh get hurt when she already seemed so vulnerable. “Flirting is very fun, you can flirt with me, any time you- No. I think that’d be weird. I feel like you and me it’d be weird, yeah?”

“You still call me that?” They hadn’t spoken in such a long time, she didn’t think he would still be holding on any time of nickname for her, it made her smile a little as she looked down at the floor in pure delight before looking up at him with a grin. This same thing happened when she ran into one of her favorite teachers from the past and the woman called her ‘Mimi’, a nickname she’d given her during her senior year. “Uh ya… I’m working at the Police Station as an assistant and helping mom when I can.”