embody the sickness

EGM #106, May 1998 - @JohnTV, @SeeJackBoyer & @Shawnimal review Saga Frontier.

Many folks in the community have recently become aware of my history of harmful behavior both in and outside of relationships, and are rightfully very concerned. I have violated partner’s consent and have been emotionally harmful to people I’ve dated. When my friends and some community members confronted me about it, I agreed that engaging an accountability process with the community would be the best course of action. This accountability process is currently being outlined and I am dedicated to seeing it through. I am taking steps to address my behavior, and these will be very integrated into my accountability process.

I am engaged in daily therapy with a specialist who focuses on intimate partner violence, as well as a separate weekly therapist who focuses on healing patterns of sexual harm. Breaking down the years of rationalizing and denial– to fully understand and face the pain I’ve put into other people’s lives– has been the first step in this process. I have begun reading extensively about consent, masculinity, and fostering healthy relationships(1). I am building up a group of friends around me to guide me as I do this, as well as keep me accountable.

I am currently in a relationship and my girlfriend is aware of my harmful actions. She is supportive of my recovery and her participation is giving me the chance to practice the growth and change I am actively pursuing. I am very grateful for her support.

I am deeply sorry for all people I have hurt and violated. I am taking the harm I have done very seriously and am working diligently to make sure it never happens again. I know there is no forgiving what I’ve done, and even posting this will just be seen as empty lip service. I hope that by sharing my commitment to progress over the coming months and years I can regain trust in the community as a safe person.

-Alex Kime

but fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this dude. fuck this dude for sexually assaulting 7 people. fuck this dude for being a shitty, manipulative piece of shit who manipulated my partner while we were dating for...maybe close to a year? fuck this dude for interfering with my partner and I’s relationship constantly while apparently dating (and abusing??) multiple people in the mean time. fuck this dude for trying to twist his manipulation of my partner and i’s relationship into some harmless, well-intentioned thing, fueling my (admittedly flawed in its own way) paranoia and my partner’s distrust in me. fuck this dude for getting ahold of a lawyer because...something about him maybe able to face legal repercussions if there was a public statement too early? idk? lol wtf??? fuck this dude! i believe he is taking the actions he says he is but i’m not holding my breath that he will change in any real way - he talks about lip service as if he hasn’t been doing lip service for what seems like years. it’s gonna take more than a few therapy sessions and a drum circle of friends telling him he’s not a monster or w/e if this dude has been abusing and manipulating people for like seven years. this is how serial abusers work. get caught, try and save face, apologize profusely in the hope of people accepting it at face value, practice superficial accountability for a lil while, drop it, move on. w/e. and like... the thing is, i’m not even mad that people are trying to guide his accountability process. the “PUBLIC STATEMENT” post this tumblr has TEN PEOPLE who have signed it. ten people trying to guide this one dude’s accountability. that’s all well and good and like it’s not that i’m saying I hope it doesn’t work, but I have to wonder how many people are guiding some sort of recovery process for each of his survivors. not that it’s the people doing Alex’s accountability’s fault, i’m not saying that, but like...why is there seemingly always a discrepancy between the amount of people willing to put so much significant effort into rehabbing abusers than the amount of people helping survivors? not that I know the people he has abused, but like.................ugh. ranting. sorry.

Super Mario RPG advertisement.

Lufia, on the SNES!