wonderful life ;

but the person i am today is a person i am proud of. i put myself through therapy. i worked on myself every day. i changed myself and not for you people. i did it for me. and while yes, i know there are people who hate me and want me to apologize and 1000% would love to talk to you people personally, if and when you’re ready. because you deserve a personal apology and not some public one that will be ripped apart by people who spread hate.

but you do not get to take away my growth as a person. none of you do.

i worked too damn hard on myself to let you guys try and tear me down. i have made my changes and if you don’t like it or accept then fine. but it’s who i am. i carry my mental illness around with pride because despite everything, i survived my inner demons and i continue to work on that shit every day. i am an entirely different person and if you dont want to see that that’s okay. that’s your business. but to the people who want to see me become the person i was before and want to paint a certain picture… you’re not gonna get it. 

i was a hurt person who hurt people. i admit it. i know i was trash and i know i was problematic and you can cancel me all you want.

but at the end of the day. i did what was needed for myself. i repaired what was broken. i took a good hard look in the mirror and changed. and none of you are going to take that away from me, no matter how hard you try.

and it really does shock me that we write in a community that thrives on character development. that wants to see change. that is often making posts about wanting people to change and always being there for people with mental illness. yet the second someone does, it’s not good enough. and you dont have to forgive me, like i said.

but amanda, the only judge of my progress and how i managed my mental illness and how ive changed, is me. 

and you can call it an excuse all you want. but here’s the thing. six years ago, i was raped. and if you don’t want to believe me, you can look it up too there’s articles and a police report public. and i was left alone. i was abandoned by the people around me because they didn’t know what to do and that’s in the police report. 

and in response i hated everyone because of it. was it wrong for me? yes.

but again, i was a survivor of rape. left alone like i was trash.

and i’ve spent six fucking years fixing myself. and building myself up. and i’m sorry but some girl from australia who i will never meet is not taking that away from me.

so yes, the person i was before was awful. and i want to talk to those i hurt because i regret it deeply and i know my actions weren’t okay. but like hell are any of you going to try and diminish my progress because i worked too fucking hard on myself and i am PROUD of the person i am today. i am proud that i survived this. and i am gonna spend every day for the rest of my life working on myself. and if you guys don’t like it then fine. but there’s no resolution this. no apology is good enough for some of you and that’s okay. but im not gonna give in to people who refuse to see growth and let people change for the better. you don’t get to erase my changes. you don’t have the power to belittle me.

your deflection, is shallow, i’m not even going to waste time on it. plenty of people, myself included, have gone through assaults and manage to not cause the harm you did. which is not excused regardless of whatever change you feel you’ve gone through. you’re idea that you’re going to get ‘’’cancelled’’’ is so stupid because why would you now? you’ve skirted by, hiding behind your friends and ignoring every criticism that comes your way, you can talk about all the private apologies you want but you’re a known abuser and manipulator, people shouldn’t have to seek you out personally to have that cleared, be public and as ungodly loud as you managed to be with this un @’ed post at amanda, with the things you’re actually sorry for.

my question, which is not anonymous and I’ll be blunt for you, why do you believe you should continue to publicly occupy the space of those you’ve victimised? Why you would condemn people that speak on your actions, which are yours alone incidentally regardless of your experiences, if you acknowledge that you have harmed them? People have every right to not forgive or forget, and I hope you make friendships in the future that reflect the changed person you claim to be, but people who associate with you should know your past and frankly they have every right to tell others ‘hey this person hurt me’ and if they go ‘aw fuck i don’t wanna talk to them then or have them in my group’- fucking wear it. you caused it, live up to it and understand people have good reason to hate you regardless of who you think you are.

The next time you wanna speak on your growth, don’t diminish the only person who’s consistently held you accountable while your slimey friends let you dance away with it. She’s not “some girl from Australia”, you know how belittling that sounded when you wrote it, she’s someone RIGHTFULLY pissed off that you’ve behaved abhorrently to no consequence. Reflect and be better, decide why your hobbies take precedent over the people you’ve harmed if you’re truly sorry. continue to grow, if that’s what you’re doing. but your growth doesn’t mean the slates clean nor should it.

Below the cut is a masterlist of lyrics from Lana Del Rey’s Various songs & albums from 2012 to 2019 ( Norman Fucking Rockwell, Lust for Life, honeymoon, Ultraviolence, Paradise, & Born to Die ). These can be used as Verse Titles, Memes, and overall Quotes/Lyrics. There are a total of ~843 different lines. 

          As to be expected some lyrics are explicit and contain references to drugs, alcohol, and sex among other adult themes.

NORMAN FUCKING ROCKWELL (2019)

norman fucking rockwell 

You fucked me so good that I almost said, “I love you”

Cause you’re just a man, It’s just what you do

You talk to the walls when the party gets bored of you

Why wait for the best when I could have you?

You make me blue

mariners apartment complex

You took my sadness out of context

I ain’t no candle in the wind

I’m the board, the lightning, the thunder

[i’m the] Kind of girl who’s gonna make you wonder who you are and who you’ve been

Maybe I could save you from your sins

Kiss the sky and whisper to Jesus

You lose your way, just take my hand /You’re lost at sea, then I’ll command your boat to me again / Don’t look too far, right where you are, that’s where I am

They mistook my kindness for weakness

Catch a wave and take in the sweetness / Think about it, the darkness, the deepness

Even in the dark I feel your resistance

by clicking [HERE] you will find #54 gifs of Rutina Wesley as Tara Thornton from Season 1 Episode 1 - ‘Strange Love’ ! all gifs were made by me so please reblog or like if this helped you, and do not redistribute without proper credit! happy roleplaying 🔥

When African American and Afro Cuban culture connect

I doubt this will get much traction on here, but Puerto Rico’s governor has just passed Código Civil (Civil Code) that has loopholes regarding women’s and LGBT+ rights. This code was passed despite activists’ call for a veto, and was intentionally speedily passed so that public hearings would not take place

In a nutshell, women’s bodily autonomy has the potential to be restricted which can take away their right to abortions, and the discrimination bans against the LGBT+ community are able to be overridden. 

5 trans people have died violently in Puerto Rico since the beginning of 2020. 

Another thing is, Governer Garced wasn’t even elected by the people of Puerto Rico. She was the Secretary of Justice, and was put in office after Governer Rosselló resigned.

She has claimed that with the passing of this new civil code, that no rights were taken away.

In a sense, that’s correct. No rights were taken away *explicitly*. The new code is way too up to interpretation and those loopholes are the cause of the harm placed on women’s and LGBT rights.

As for people asking how they can help, the best thing that you can do is to reblog, retweet, and spread. Please just let us LGBT Puerto Ricans know that you are with us, you care for us, and you see us.

For people who want to go a little further, here is a donate link to an Puerto Rican LGBT+ organization dedicated to providing counseling, therapy, and help towards all orientations and gender identities. https://www.centrolgbttpr.org/donar/

If you want to help Puerto Rico as a whole, you should know that the many effects of Hurricane Maria are still affecting Puerto Rico’s people. This is an ongoing relief fund that has almost reached it’s goal. https://www.globalgiving.org/projects/hurricane-maria-caribbean-relief-fund/

I have yet to find any organizations that focus donating money to on #BlackLivesMatter in Puerto Rico. If you happen to find one on your own time, please notify me!

Side note: Please, before donating to any of these organizations, look into them first. I have read up on their sites and deem them trustworthy, but it’s important that YOU are informed to make your own decision.

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We already have around 120,000 votes, please reblog and sign!