among the thorns 荆棘之间

“Wait for Me to connect narratives”

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” — A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh) I came to Bartley in 2018, seeking respite and some sort of recalibration. And indeed I found them, and more. I found beauty in the lush green that surrounds the school, pockets of breathing spaces that comes alive at every golden hour I found purpose, and of course some drama, in the process of steering narratives in young lives. My hand on their wheels and theirs on mine. I found friendships, with colleagues-and-bosses-turned-friends. Writing and rewriting narratives, day in day out. I found a path, that I finally felt ready to embark. A few steps forward, and then… a pause. For how long is this pause I do not know, for I know not the times and seasons but I’ve learnt to watch, and wait and not to fight the turning of tides While there is some sort of finality I feel in this goodbye, if God willing, someday somewhere the course of our lives may cross again And may memories always shine, like the golden rays in an azure blue sky https://www.instagram.com/p/CXGT8KNpAr6HiqwQH7iIyQQQj47sPJy1V0Lfeo0/?utm_medium=tumblr

15 Oct 2021 A day of action, adrenaline and answered prayers. Sometimes answers to prayers come in forms we least expect (or even most resist), but they are answers nonetheless. And somehow God has a curious way of always working out the best answer from the most unlikely equation. The big news is…Papa is home! On the outside, scrawny and wrinkly. But this little prune truly is more alive than ever before! And it’s heartening that Mama gets to celebrate her 71st birthday, with family around her — physically and virtually. ❤️🌻❤️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CVIFwATJWyRYNhfqAa6n4c8F2BD4ew63928ttM0/?utm_medium=tumblr

For Sarah You are born on 8 Sep 2021 About the time you started sending signals of your arrival to your mum, somewhere way up above the sky, sunlight enters one side of an ice crystal in the cloud and exits through the side, precisely at a 22-degree angle. The bending of the light by 22 degrees from its original direction, produces a ring of light that is observed at 22 degrees from the sun. In other words, the Creator paints a rainbow halo around the sun, with the precision of a master archer. In times past, people saw the sun halo as a prediction of rain. And perhaps, they were right. While man predicts, God purposes. Your brave parents saw in the light of your eyes, a ray of hope. Let me tell you why. *** Long before you were born, you were lovingly planned for, by your Father in Heaven and on Earth. Your Mother and YiYi (yours truly) went back and forth discussing what your name would be. I suggested “昀”, meaning sunlight. Your mother mused over the imagery of sun, cloud (water) and grass — a picture of interdependent harmony between you and your sisters. This thought delighted her soul. And so it was decided, your name will bear light. The ten days before your birth was an anxious time for your family. It’s was a time of QO (perhaps the alphabet soup all Covid-era babies grow up upon, before actually learning ABCs 😜) and the prospect of bringing you into the world alone, was rather daunting to mummy. And oh girl, a brave mother you do have! You came into this world, safe and sound, with Mama’s wholehearted labour. Meanwhile, a whirlwind sent Daddy from one place to another. Before we knew it, the whole clan is in storm. Your Daddy is a true soldier, he rode the waves one by one, the torrents never breaking his calm. For his soul has a firm anchor, both sure and steadfast. Today at this time of your full month’s celebrations, we give thanks. For life, for family, for the anchor of hope that continues to steady us in the storms. And, for you. The whole clan is not yet fully present, but that time will come. Your Heavenly Father has the best timing. And He doesn’t miss a beat. https://www.instagram.com/p/CUxlLlNBCT8L7IBu00_92S4bImdzJz1WJ4p94o0/?utm_medium=tumblr

For Sarah You are born on 8 Sep 2021 About the time you started sending signals of your arrival to your mum, somewhere way up above the sky, sunlight enters one side of an ice crystal in the cloud and exits through the side, precisely at a 22-degree angle. The bending of the light by 22 degrees from its original direction, produces a ring of light that is observed at 22 degrees from the sun. In other words, the Creator paints a rainbow halo around the sun, with the precision of a master archer. In times past, people saw the sun halo as a prediction of rain. And perhaps, they were right. While man predicts, God purposes. Your brave parents saw in the light of your eyes, a ray of hope. Let me tell you why. *** Long before you were born, you were lovingly planned for, by your Father in Heaven and on Earth. Your Mother and YiYi (yours truly) went back and forth discussing what your name would be. I suggested “昀”, meaning sunlight. Your mother mused over the imagery of sun, cloud (water) and grass — a picture of interdependent harmony between you and your sisters. This thought delighted her soul. And so it was decided, your name will bear light. The ten days before your birth was an anxious time for your family. It’s was a time of QO (perhaps the alphabet soup all Covid-era babies grow up upon, before actually learning ABCs 😜) and the prospect of bringing you into the world alone, was rather daunting to mummy. And oh girl, a brave mother you do have! You came into this world, safe and sound, with Mama’s wholehearted labour. Meanwhile, a whirlwind sent Daddy from one place to another. Before we knew it, the whole clan is in storm. Your Daddy is a true soldier, he rode the waves one by one, the torrents never breaking his calm. For his soul has a firm anchor, both sure and steadfast. Today at this time of your full month’s celebrations, we give thanks. For life, for family, for the anchor of hope that continues to steady us in the storms. And, for you. The whole clan is not yet fully present, but that time will come. Your Heavenly Father has the best timing. And He doesn’t miss a beat. https://www.instagram.com/p/CUxkb_nhKJXOTl7C2QXLs53ZZcY7gRjOUxqYTE0/?utm_medium=tumblr

Light poured in this morning through the opened window onto the petals of sunshine and right into my soul We received a sweet sweet piece of news Bro-in-law is ready to be discharged! Sis and the girls can finally see their beloved, the baby can finally see her dad! After almost a month of relentless storm, it seems like the waves are finally calming down A short break, since treatment resumes in about 10 days time This is a strange quality of us humans isn’t it? Always on the look out for the next wave, never really allowing ourselves to truly rest in this present moment. I’ve been thinking about health, and what it is, truly. Modern medicine has enabled us to identify diseases and sources of infections, to introduce targeted chemicals aiding in recovery, to make preemptive predictions, to circumvent sickness, to alleviate malaise, or in the very least…to make pain more bearable… Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for these advancements. I secretly beamed with pride when dad’s doctor asked me “Are you medically trained?” (No I’m certainly not, I’ve just been reading up a lot). But no one truly possesses health. Or should I say, everyone only has a temporal hold on health. Life begins with amazing vitality and drive. And even in a dying man, this stream does not run completely dry. But if health is a measurement of vitality, then is this not a test everyone is bound to fail? Because as long as we are flesh-bound, we are death-bound. What does it mean, then, to be healed? And I am, no stranger to healing. I’ve been healed. So many times, in so many ways. By this self-restorative dust machinery that I often forget to give credit to — my body, that is — ; by the intervention of science and medicine — the brilliance of others, that is — ; by prayers and laying on of hands — my elders and community of friends, that is — ; by simply declaring with authority — my own faith, that is — ; by an instantaneous touch of God — a miraculous work of God, that is — To the Maker who can make life spring from dust He can do anything! But He won’t do everything. Now perhaps, more than ever, He is bringing healing and health to our souls. https://www.instagram.com/p/CUt3UbmlBmHV72DiU7jUHglB4XpQZfH4VfErUc0/?utm_medium=tumblr

24 Apr 2020 阻断措施开始之前，进入全面居家学习的时期，想到就快要完全被困在家里 我情绪的起伏很大 很气 很想搬出去 但祂说“回家吧” 苟延残喘地熬下去 话说上网课的这一天，M同学缺席了。下课后打电话给M同学家长，发现原来M和家长吵架了，这次还闹得很僵。 发了几个简讯给M，他说睡过头了，明天会上网课。 隔天，就那么凑巧，课文后边的小任务有那么一篇文章。 文中的父亲偷看了孩子的日记，孩子生气为难父亲，最后自己感到愧疚。任务是要加入一段表示道歉的对话。 同学们一边看着电脑屏幕，一边抄写答案 一边听我开始说心里话… “有时候，我们只是在等家人的一句道歉” “我们不要补偿、讨厌家人当作什么都没有发生过地一样继续生活。我们只是想听到对方承认，他/她伤害我们了。” “但是，如果那句道歉的话永远说不出来，那么我们就一辈子生家人的气吗？” “我也不是说我们不可以期待道歉。但是如果家人这个时候没有办法用我们期待的方式道歉、只能用他们自己习惯的方式表达关心，那我们可以接受吗？” “不原谅的心，最后伤害的，是自己。” 下课后，M说他知道我的这段心里话是讲给他听的。 他不知道的是，这段话也是讲给我自己听的。 而且，是祂，通过我，讲给我听的。 跟M讲完话以后，我哭得稀哩哗啦。 好吧，再一次地，接受。 再一次地，原谅。 回到电脑屏幕前，我的 YouTube 自动播放曲目突然唱起了 David Campbell’s “You know better than I” (In Disney’s show, Joseph King of Dreams) 稀哩稀哩 哗啦哗啦 #lilyspeaksplainly 之第三篇 https://www.instagram.com/p/CUOtDu4FMHdJKZ1Zw8YstqzQe7KZZyzqa4gNw80/?utm_medium=tumblr

12 March 2019 It was a regular weekday And regular weekdays are long days The first thing I came home to, was an instruction: “Eh, help me go downstairs Sheng Siong buy soy sauce. We ran out and I’m cooking dinner already.” “Orh.” A wholesome dinner and a couple more errands later, I was finally done with the long day, and ready to enjoy the night It has been a habit for me to walk around the neighbourhood at night And I have been blessed with a beautiful one to walk in The willows sway in the night breeze Two pathways lit with light and in between the two paths light dances on the waters that pass quietly through a canal My feet circle the two paths As a same set of thoughts circle my mind I walk, and pray After a dozen unanswered questions and some half sentences, it was time to return home When I clicked the lock of my house gate back in place, a reply came “This is the 6th time you handled the lock” My first response was “Really?” and started recounting…the soy sauce trip, the throwing of trash, the… no wait, that’s 5 times not 6! And then a sudden flash of remembrance: When I was taking out the trash earlier, I clicked the lock too fast and it was out of joint, had to unlock and relock… “Oh wow! It was 6 times indeed” Then came the rejoinder, that was really the point “If I am keeping track of something so small and insignificant in your life, will I not know about that which is weightier on your heart and mind?” Indeed Lord, indeed. This is the second of the series #lilyspeaksplainly https://www.instagram.com/p/CUNZ6WzBacBcKR6BRJX4LAIj3TnYJ8gLs1V3-g0/?utm_medium=tumblr

It’s Teachers’ Day the most affirming day in a school year shared with possibly the best kind of colleagues one can ever have (It’s my theory that some of the very best people in the world, are teachers. And so far this theory has been pretty true) As with most heartfelt moments, my phone camera forgot to take action. So… Using my usual way to seal the memories…words *** The form class kiddos were bubbling with excitement, albeit in their child-like ways. Non-chinese Y’s declared his love in mandarin, every few minutes; C’s selfie magically appeared in my photo album; d’s encrypted message(s); A’s awkward but genuine attempt in participation; mapping out J’s Santa route; S’s hand drawn flower… and then reading in their heartfelt notes and letters, the little details of stories shared, remembered and savoured by them. And of course, the spontaneous AMA, which was more to save my life and stall time, becoming possibly the material for some future reminisce... And then there was the slew of little notes and gifts… From the various lovelies in subject classes, notable gifts include - 1kg jasmine white rice, stash of dark anime character stickers (specifically because my choice of stickers was not upz enough), and 1 hersey kiss (because the note was forgotten at home). With all sincerity, I love my clowns. 😆 The tender hearted younger ones made adorable little handicrafts and the older ones was quite on point with their choice. Then, the staff celebrations segment was such a pleasant surprise. A real tour around Kyoto! This has completely upz the game of Zooming in Covid times. Hearing the roars of laughters from the main staffroom in the staff quizzes was a real highlight for me. Comments in chat are the best. A big cherry 🍒 on top of this ice cream day, would be the tea time with friends! 💚💛🧡❤️ The hearts spells HTHT! “We share our stories because there is power in needing Jesus together, and we all need Jesus.” That’s all folks Adios Amigos 👋🏻 https://www.instagram.com/p/CTUtRTll3EGkqZ3vlUsC3H4siSLl6Hr-dhpzJU0/?utm_medium=tumblr

It’s the end of the road for the little champion This unnamed, unknown, unremitting branch, has finally hit the end of the road. (Well at least of this leg of the journey. It is perhaps just starting the next leg of journey — becoming nutrients) Who would have known that a branch without roots could still sprout new buds of green 🌱 🌱 and stay green for more than three whole months Thank for being a word picture of grit, and finding life, in all the unlikely places https://www.instagram.com/p/CTSDk1dlLBvvVuvpRMwWLbYl3eWKOgdKYVjzCA0/?utm_medium=tumblr

This flower, have been surrounded by moisture 😌💧🙏🏻 https://www.instagram.com/p/CSHX3FKlJB8EiZbzYYXPnVWkFi-xobnsFVSvc40/?utm_medium=tumblr

Three solid months ago, on 5th May 2021, I bought some huge pink carnations. It was mothers’ day, very befitting flowers for the occasion. A hard, woody branch of leaves were spotted, and I picked them up, just to complement the carnations. I don’t know its name, forgot to ask, and can’t find them on Google too. I put a stalk of leaves in a glass, it was a bedside decor I didn’t pay much attention to, until… It started budding new shoots. Two shoots, on opposite ends of the same branch. The shoots sprung up in a few weeks. But for the next month or so, they were nothing but little dots of fresh green. And then suddenly, they grew, and grew, and grew, unfolding leaves greener and fresher still. I called this my miracle plant. And it is indeed, a miracle cutting. But it didn’t root. (And adding the rooting powder seems to only hasten wilting) The inevitable is here now, visible in the shade of dark brown that has started to eat at the corners of the fresh young leaves. All the leaves on a side branch have wilt and fallen, while the leaves of another side branch held on, just not yet totally dried. I don’t know what I was expecting… A rootless cutting that never dies? More leaves? Flowers? Alright, not flowers. Still I gave its stem one last trim wood still as hardy as before Little miracle plant I should applaud you for persevering I should thank you for budding I should admire your fading beauty so many shoulds… Yet I just want to cry for you that you can’t escape death like how we can’t escape gravity Somehow dryness still gnaw at your bones though you have been surrounded by moisture do you find this, and me, pathetic and pitiful Or do you look forward to returning to dust? Maybe you, of all creatures, is most acquainted with cycles Seasons So that when you finally give yourself into the earth you have embraced the end and beginning Together https://www.instagram.com/p/CSHXP1jFHbPgm83vcI1bTtq5L83GEzckYNbqSw0/?utm_medium=tumblr

What an eventful day What a lovely night the same words echoing and affirmed “snipper with the one-shot-kill” It’s really You, isn’t it? The only One who delivers answers intricately woven into trajectories timed at the perfect moment where hearts bloom unexpectedly expected Thank You Lord 🙌🏻 https://www.instagram.com/p/CRZR8m4FO3r-ja6ciYbevkQDw1pH-CJimH-Gys0/?utm_medium=tumblr

又一次的道别 又一次的“诵”礼 又一次的 AMA 每次都是独特的经历 这批毕业班 刚认识不久 大家都必需戴上口罩😷 还未来得及适应变化 迎面而来的是下一波的改变 “过渡” 好像成为了最贴切的形容词 尴尬过渡成熟络 陌生过渡成平凡 当欢笑声开始填满 本来的寂静时 却已到了道别的时刻 人生就是一次又一次的 过渡 衷心祝愿你们 每一个人 都安然 过渡到 下一站的 幸福 #最难忘的AMA #有人总是comprehensionfail #都是陈老师的乖宝宝 #最后一张照片没有侵犯肖像权 #我们有缘再相逢 #lookhowyouvegrown ☺️❤️😌 https://www.instagram.com/p/CRZQuhgF2DOoT8pnbPbLHkb54qI7C-Dwe_rm-U0/?utm_medium=tumblr

30 Jun 2021 I stepped out to go for a walk and I walked straight into the colours of the sky Mesmerised I changed my mind Holding onto an iPad, precariously leaning between a stand and a railing 13 storey high The next thirty minutes or so went by While I fixed my gaze upon the skies The colour changes were so visible Even glorious But I thought the clouds stood still I really believed so Because that was what I saw Until I took the iPad down to review the time-lapsed capture I was seeing again The clouds were moving all these while My eyes just did not see their slow and steady trail *** There’s a voice I’ve been dying to hear Until only very recently I’m beginning to realise that the voice has been speaking all these while In places I haven’t been looking https://www.instagram.com/p/CQvn1epl3tlQOlAxB-JV-tyOh3yrcfXaQqmAFc0/?utm_medium=tumblr

Top: “One Day We’ll Talk About Today” - A film by Angus Dwimas Sasongko, on Netflix Bottom: “Wave of Cinema (One Day We’ll Talk About Today)” - A musical concert based off and on the film 14 Jun 2021 A random watch on Netflix turns out to be right on point for me with a huge bonus — concert after a show 😭 Here’s my capture of parts of the songs (words) that hit me. I tried my best to credit the artists, their music, and lyrics translation. https://www.instagram.com/p/CQG0C1AFAcFqXQ3foISE4eMfzVUL2l2nQ6lbIg0/?utm_medium=tumblr