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Reblog if you're still in 2013.

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(excerpted from Leila Chatti's poem: "Tea", published in Missouri Review)
Do I disappoint you? Am I not what I seemed? I get disappointed too, when love is not what I dreamed
I want you to disappoint me, on and on until we're old
MUNA at the Showbox SoDo in Seattle

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This is how I originally wrote it. One of those that starts as a poem and then begs to be a song. I posted a fragment of this on tumblr a while back, but here’s the initial piece in its entirety 🤍
Reblog if you're still in 2013.
“I have learned not to fear the times that are dark. Some flowers need the light to grow. Some flowers only bloom for the moon.”
— B. Damani, Petal By Petal (via thesocietyofpoets)
I think knights devoted to ladies and falling passionately in love with them is fucking sick as hell actually. Just also the knights should also be ladies.
She convinced her family to join the space program after her coworker was killed by a rabbit embryo. She base jumped into a black hole. She achieved luxury automated lesbian space communism. She started a civil war. She decided to become the savior of humankind. She's bisexual. She's only had one known partner: the woman who was sent to assassinate her. She has powerful sapphic energy with every woman in her life. She made a deal with the literal consciousness of the solar system. She broke up a heterosexual couple and imprisoned one of them. She DIY'd a throne world as a fun weekend project. Eris Morn was the last person she thought of before she got obliterated. She came back from the dead. She ate her archenemy's power. She broke apart a pyramid. She died and came back again. She turned down the Witness. When her archenemy turned herself into a crystal, she hauled her metamorphosing body into her bedroom as a cool piece of decor. She killed Savathun without even trying to. She's a farm girl. She's fucking insane. I didn't name anyone but you just pictured her, didn't you?

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So do we as a community actually trust Mara Sov? Like, she's definitely been acting suspicious lately. I just got back into the game after being unable to play for a hot minute so I don't know what all happened in the last season past what I learned from the in-game recap, but this season definitely has me questioning Mara's motives.
Aside from Riven's entire speech about Mara not being upfront with us, I've never trusted her all that much. In Season of the Lost, she severed Savathun's connection with her worm, which allowed her to die outside her thrownworld and receive the Light. In a lot of ways, she was responsible for the Witch Queen campaign. And, to be fair, we were all tricked by Savathun in that season, but we had a reason to bargain with her. She had Osiris held hostage. But why was Mara so eager to help Savathun? Last I checked, she's got no reason to risk it all for Osiris (I might be wrong, but I'm not sure if they even knew each other before this). Maybe she did it to get her techeuns back, but why make a deal with Savathun to do it when the Guardian would likely be willing to help her out with that anyway? It just seems like a lot of risk for an unclear motive. The more we look at it, the more we find Mara assisting us while having very unclear motives. A lot of her actions just don't add up. And while I have absolutely no reason to trust a single thing Riven says, she does make a good point. We don't know what Mara's getting out of this. This is the second time she's made a deal with one of our greatest enemies without being clear about what she stands to gain. We know her overarching motive is to remove the curse on the Dreaming City, so maybe she's trying to accumulate power to do so? And if that's true, how far is she willing to go?
Idk, just my random thoughts. I have no idea if any of this is even worth overthinking. But. I do not trust this lady. The vibes are off.
'Trust' is kind of a hard thing to define with Mara, bc I honestly don't blame you for not trusting a woman who's out here playing 4D chess with gods, but as of recently, Mara's been pretty trustworthy insofar as as our interests align with hers. Her current main goal isn't to save just the Dreaming City, but all of Humanity + the rest of the universe, which she's been pretty dedicated to. For example, in Defiance, she spent pretty much the whole season nonstop channeling the Guardians into the Ascendent Plane despite the toll it took on her body, because we were trying to prevent the Witness from developing a foothold on Earth (though I think that was a plot hole they never cleared up). That's pretty extreme dedication towards stopping enemy advancement, and is pretty strong proof of her honesty. She's also been a lot more open with us as of late because the shock of losing Crow paired with the bitchslap of coming back to see her kingdom ruined by Riven and Savathun shocked her out of her independant 'holier than thou' demeanor that she'd been toting around earlier. It was a wakeup call that she needed to be honest and to work with the guardians, in essence, which is why she's doing it now.
Mara also had a dual incentive to help Osiris- to start, she and Osiris have actually worked together in the past (though mentions have been fleeting), so Osiris is one of her allies, perhaps even a person she considers a friend. Second, it allowed her to get back at Savathun in the process, since Savathun is the cause behind the curse on the Dreaming City (it was her wish with Riven, iirc). Savathun didn't survive the process and it was unknown to all of us at the time that she was eligible to be a Lightbearer, so Mara DID succeed in killing Savathun- she just didn't realize she'd come back from it.
Also, a big reason why Mara is so dedicated to stopping the Witness is because she's confronted the Witness personally- it offered to make her a disciple at the end of Witch Queen, and showed her a vision of all that she could have if she accepted it- which she nearly did. While she ultimately rejected it in the end, the experience left her deeply shaken and determined to counter the Witness at any cost. That's why she's been helping us so much as of late- she got both a wake-up call and an insider peek into what the Witness wants to do, which has made stopping it her primary goal, just like it is ours
Good summary!
I'd also add that Mara's goal has always been and remains to be saving humanity. This is the sole reason she made the Awoken as she did back in the Distributary, to make them willing to leave the safety of the Distributary and return to the system to help humanity. She considered the Distributary to be a temporary haven to escape the Collapse and that the Awoken owed a debt to the rest of humanity for surviving the Collapse inside the Distributary; a debt they would have to repay and one day return to the system:
"It is time that we accept our debt. The Distributary is a refuge, not a birthright; a base to rebuild our strength, not a garden to tend. I ask you, Awoken, to join me in the hardest and most worthy task a people has ever faced. We must leave our heaven, return to the world of our ancestors, and take up the works they abandoned. If some of them survive, we must offer aid. If they have enemies, we must share our strength. We must go back to the war we fled and face our enemies there."
I'm not sure why people forget that; possibly because it was framed in Marasenna as something that made Mara "the devil" because she schemed for this to be possible, as well as for deliberately making "imperfect" people. What people forget is that she had to. If she made the Distributary and the Awoken differently, they never would've left. Why would they?
"I have nurtured and tended the Eccaleist belief so that there will always be Awoken who feel uncomfortable in paradise. Guilty for the gift of existence in the Distributary. People who'll come with me."
She is correct, of course, albeit she did this in the most convoluted and shady way possible. But she was correct in doing so, because the Awoken were needed by the rest of humanity, and still are. Mara's actions further saved humanity at Twilight Gap and with Oryx's arrival. Both of these events would've been devastating to humanity, and possibly would've wiped us out (Oryx sure would've).
Mara has always been our ally, despite her schemes and weird ways of achieving her goals that often hurt a lot of people in the process. She used to be the sort of "end justifies the means" type, but has since changed as she started working more closely with us and, as the above reply mentions, since she had a personal run-in with the Witness. Ikora's assessment of Mara from the Witch Queen Collector's Edition:
I believe Mara has begun to consider that she may not be the prime executor of her own endgame. She may be just one component of the bomb—a payload or a timing device. At the end of her own journey, she is necessary but not sufficient. She can no longer fight alone.
This is why she helps us. She has grand plans to save humanity, but she realised that she cannot execute those plans alone. She cannot fight alone and she cannot win alone.
And of course, to reiterate, in regards to Savathun; nobody knew or even considered the possibility that killing Savathun would actually help her. This was a massive and incredibly wild event that happened in-universe. Mara killing Savathun was Mara using her incredible power to strike down one of our most insidious enemies and it worked. Nobody, not even Mara, could've known that this is what Savathun wanted and that she would be granted the Light. Like, I need to stress that the Hive becoming Lightbearers has to treated as a world-shattering event that it was. Nobody knew this was possible. It was on nobody's radar as possible. Imagine the least likely situation that could never happen on Earth and that was Savathun being rezed by a Ghost.
In the first chronological appearance of Mara, while she's still human and on board the Exodus ship, one of the first things she talks about is how much she loves Earth:
She was nineteen years and nine months old at the moment the ship began its transtellar injection burn, although this is true only if you count by the calendar of a planet she has barely visited but will always love. She thinks you cannot help but love Earth if you grow up in space. You love Earth the way all adolescents secretly adore two-century-old video of nai nai and ye ye dancing on New Year's Eve. Earth does not ask too much. The colonies are demanding parents, but Earth is like a chill old grandma, simmering in weird art and weirder ideas, enthroned upon ecology older than Human time. Earth was the first terraformed world. Life made Earth livable.
What Mara is getting out of this is saving humanity and Earth, the first and only goal she's had since the start.
Wow, I didn't know a lot of this stuff. Thanks. And yeah the more I think about it I do agree that it's not Mara's fault in the slightest that Savathun got rezzed. I'm moreso wondering why Savathun would target Mara specifically. I feel like I should've made it clearer in my original post, but I don't think Mara's a villain. I just think she's hiding something. I don't think whatever she's hiding is something intended to hurt us, but I do wonder what it is. I think she's a good person who truly does just want to help her people, but I also think she can get a bit blindsided by her own desires. But yes, you are absolutely right, Mara is our ally. And thanks for telling me about some of the lore!
I know you’re tired bitch but keep fucking going
“Her hands. Her eyes. Her bitten fingernails. All this I remember, intensely remember, yet all is disparate, I cannot assemble it into a unity. Try as I may, pretend as I may, I am unable to conjure her […] She wavers before my memory’s eye at a fixed distance, always just beyond focus, moving backward at exactly the same rate as I am moving forward.”
— John Banville, The Sea
“Life in every environment today is a “savage paradise” — savage to the ignorant, uneducated, unskilled, prejudiced and ill-informed. But it’s a paradise to those who have learned to adapt to and manage change, remain flexible, unhook prejudices, view failures and mistakes as temporary detours and target corrections, and remain lifelong learners. The jungle is neutral. It is your knowledge, attitude, skills and habits that see you through. The jungle is what it is. It doesn’t think. It is the backdrop for your journey. Your preparation, training, resourcefulness and dedication are what count.”
— Dr. Waitley, Safari to the Soul

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