I disagree with the comments that says his motive for shooting up sandy hook was because of this belief that he was āfreeingā the children. It never made sense to me.
In his channel āCultural Philistineā and other extremely long essay rants he wrote (including the one defending for pedophilia), he kept advocating for a childās right to freedom. Freedom to knowledge, freedom to love anyone, and to basically do anything. The more I analyzed these rants of his, the more I realized that he was heavily projecting and was basically describing how he felt about his years as a child. Although, pedophilia is a strange topic to choose when wanting to advocate for childrenās freedom and independence.
He then goes on and on about his hatred towards culture, authority figures, and adults in general. In most of the dreams he described, he always/wanted to hurt the adults\authority figures getting in his way. Shooting them, punching them, hurting them in his dreams. It doesnāt match up with what he did in sandy hook. It was the adults he hated, why children? Why not just a high school, a mall, a supermarket like the mass shooters he idolized and things heād dream about?
Adam would also often talk about wanting to commit suicide because he viewed life as suffering and death as freedom. But, he mentioned that he just couldnāt do it yet because his life was too ācomfortableā and basically saying that he didnāt have the discipline to really do it, even though he emphasized that it was his goal. I do want to mention a strange thing he said regarding to it, where he said that heāll only be able to end his life once he has the ādisciplineā or courage to do it orā¦ āthat.ā Which he didnāt elaborate or specify on what āthatā meant, probably because heād get in trouble if he actually said what it is.
Days before the shooting, there were evidence in the GPS of his car that he was driving past other public places, like his old high school and other elementary schools. But itās weird that he specifically chose Sandy Hook, his old elementary school. Especially when itās also one of the places where he created lots of memories and did a lot of activities in (before things started getting bad when he got into newtown middle school.) plus, it was completely out of character to choose killing all those children. It didnāt match up with his philosophy he tried so hard to get across.
He knew he wanted to die but couldnāt find the right reason to, or enough reason to. So he decided to create a reason where he deserves to die. It wouldāve made more sense if he just went to shoot up his high school/mall, or some other public space. There are other places thatās full of adults and authority figures, but that wouldnāt give him the reason why he deserves to kill himself. So, he chose the one place where you would least expect to harbor individuals that deserved to die. Sandy Hook Elementary School, killing 20 innocent children ages 6-7 years old. This also supports the reason why he decided to shoot Nancy as well. His mother, who had done nothing but protect and care for him his entire life (even though she didnāt do it in the best way.)
My whole point in all this, is that Adam Lanza chose a target that contradicted the entire worldview he has built around himself because he needed to become the person that actually deserved death in his own eyes. and by doing so, he may have created a situation in where his own death became not just unavoidable, but justified, which destroys any remaining justification for his existence.
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