um i like music and video games

Feeling all sorts of depressed all over again tbh. Not happy that I'm slipping back into this mindset

Im a person that likes to write but i like to send it to someone but the person i love with every fiber of my being & my heart have separated recently & its been taking a huge toll on me. My anxiety has been in full swing, my depression has been the worst it has ever been. My doctor hasn’t called me back to let me know about my therapist so im lost in who to talk to or what to even say, my body hurts from the pain im inflicting on myself. I miss this girl so much even tho i talk to her daily, i miss the fact of us dating & having that constant connection to each other but now trying to get that back im doing my best & it hurts because i want us to be together but i dont want her to force herself, i want her to be okay before deciding to commit to us again. It doesnt help that losing toys r us as a job was a huge emotional blow to me and my life alongside feeling like i have zero friends doesnt help me in my current state. Im dealing with all this alone & its so much to handle...I want to be okay.