timebomb.

Oh really? ‘Cause you’re yapping right now.

At least I don’t look like a fucking lost dog looking for it’s owner. Your girlfriend is probably off in some corner fucking another guy for excitement.

I’m actually pretty smart, so I actually understand what you are trying to say. 

Just because your mom told you so, doesn’t make it true.

Um… You do realize I’m a girl, right?

Not with those tits you’re not.

Lord knows.. Maybe I’ll go get checked out. You can come with me and get the stick up your ass removed - kill two birds with one stone. 

I think the only one who is a fan of things up their arse is you, darling.

Well, I was going to yell but then you started yapping and distracted me.

Excusez-vous? I do not “yap”.

“Need anything? You’d have to pay me - Obviously. So yeah.”

“Obviously? You do look like the kind to desperately money...”

I learnt so many new things last night. Note to self - you cannot dance, it is neither entertaining or seductive.

That’s obvious. You don’t seem to have a sexy bone in your body.

What do you think I’m going to do, burst into their stalls? I just want to find my girlfriend, man.

Coming into the girls’ bathroom and not doing anything doesn’t sound like a very effective way of finding someone.

You’ve either been failed by the education system, or, that was a poor joke. That’s not at all possible. 

Hm, then maybe I’ll get it from you. If there are dick pics in your phone, Lord knows what’s in you.

Do you want me to be descriptive? 

I was being sarcastic, in case your tiny brain couldn’t process that.

Are you– Okay, no uh, sorry for offering, I just thought– Uh, sorry.

You can fuck off now.

I should probably get out of the ladies room now, so please don’t kick me anymore and I apologize for intruding on your woman space.

Yeah, whatever.

[Tries to play it off like it didn’t hurt, grimacing.] Okay, that was rude.

I never said I was nice. 

As long as it doesn’t involve hurting me, then go right ahead. 

{she moves in front of him lifts her leg and knees him in his groin.} Oops.