Scene3 - Emotional Cheesey Montage
So just a week ago I was feeling like I’d reached that part in a movie where everything has gone wrong. Think cheese chic-flick or teen movie - the protagonist has been rejected, has pissed someone off, had a string of bad luck, or all of the above. I couldn’t get myself out of my self pity rut for the whole weekend. Terrified I might loose my job and my whole plan in saving for my very own special little house would be ruined. I’d never get my humble little home, I’d never get my little dog, I’d never get a good job again and as for happy endings - you could kiss goodbye to that!
I’d probably be doomed to work in a thankless call centre or be balancing three different shit retail shifts for the rest of life, be chilling every weekend in a dirty pub, and become the worst possible self-destructive version of myself.
Well FUCK THAT! I had to take a moment to remind myself of who the fuck I am! (Cue the next part in the movie, protagonist finds some photograph or memory that gives her major power and she triumphantly leaps off the sofa in a eureka moment!)
Ok, so I might have spent the weekend in my PJs and drowned my sorrows in a pointless bubble game app that took no thought or engird (and hey I got through to level 356 in just two and 1/2 days.. not that that’s an achievement of course).
It’s true we all need time to cry a little sometimes but we’ve also been in the position where it feels like we simply cannot bring ourselves out of that mindset.
If you’ve ever had struggle with dark thoughts then you know what I’m talking about, and once it’s happened several times you start to recognise the early stages.
At first you think ‘hey this is normal behaviour, it must be. Everyone has lazy days sometimes, everyone has down periods, everyone’s gotta cry, and everyone gets moments where they just want to be on their own.’
I knew I had done nothing wrong and I recognised that I was blowing it up out of proportion. If we take too long to think about things and let our mind wander and make stuff up we need to recognise we’re appoaching dangerous territory. It’s unlucky if you’ve been deep in that dangerous area, but the positive side is that you recognise it when it comes back because that is the first step to control.
TELL yourself what you have achieved and how you got there. TELL yourself what strength and confidence it took, and TELL yourself to snap the fuck out of it!
Fucking list if you need to!
You nearly died,
You had some back stabbing bitch jealous turn your whole year against you through some ridiculous rumour
You’ve gotten over an abusive relationship,
You’ve gotten over a very destructive addition
You saw the version of you that you wanted to be and you went out there and became it
You landed some amazing placements at the two most prestigious advertisement production companies in London
You had some big knocks on your professional path and have stayed open to change and flexible, not to mention you’ve not let it set you too far back.
Less than a year ago, you lost your best friend, your fiancé, your home and job, all of your friends and a large part of your current family at the time, basically your whole life as you know it.
And you now have this job which is the prefect balance of fun and challenging, is convenient, and is made of a wonderfully ambitious team!
Oh, and you manage to still fit in at least one of your hobbies which is probably your best talent - singing! (with plans to fit in the other hobbies very soon)
Oh, and not to mention you’ve decided to try your hand in the dating pool again and be as fearless as possible.
Ok. I’m fucking superwoman. And if anyone has a problem with that then I’ve also got a pretty good right hook.
snowghoul
jbbartram-illu
theartofmadeline
dailybridgerton
areudirty
turnnoffyourmind
stormborns
