Maruders Chats

Remus: Siri, love. Spit it the fuck out

Sirius: I SET MY BED ON FIRE

Remus: WHAT

Sirius: It’s out now! Everything is fine but I don’t have anywhere to sleep..

Remus: Sirius you daft mutt you sleep in my bed regardless

Sirius: So I set my bed on fire for no good reason?

Lily: *Catches the boys mid prank*

James: I swear I can explain

Sirius: We have about three different explanations

McGongall: Three?

Sirius: So you can pick which one you like and not give us detention

Jily oneshot with background Wolfstar

The best thing about a secret relationship was trying not to get caught, and my god did James Potter love to play a good game.

Not only did he like a good game, he liked to win. Sneaking around with Lily Evans was one of his most favourite things he enjoyed the chase, especially since it was 6 years long.

The had only started dating about two weeks ago after the two had started to become closer than friends, they both shared head boy and girl duties and had there own office.

The majority of the time Lily studied taking advantage of the private room, and James had used it as a place to take refuge when Remus and Sirius were getting busy in the dorm.

The two didn’t get a long at first only keeping things strictly professional but after the long nights of rounds and studding, the two started to become close.

James had told himself at the start of the year when he found out Lily would be sharing the other head position, so he tried to tone it down.

No more asking her out, or ridiculous love proposals. He would just be her friend, well he did throw in a couple complements here and there. But not immature ones, just noticing the small things.

Lily almost couldn’t believe herself at the start, the arrogant childish boy was now a thoughtful caring man who would do anything for the people he loves.

Sometimes James would just come to the office even if the dorm was free, simply because Lily was there.

“Hey James” Lily would say without looking up from her large pile of books and stray papers, she would study up and storm and always make a big mess.

“Hey Lily” James said taking a seat next to Lily on the couch, he would move her books out of the way and pile them up.

“Remus and Sirius at it again? They breed like rabbits without the breeding part, its funny actually” Lily said still scribbling things down on a piece of parchment.

James just laughed at the predicament still neatening up her work space, she always worked in suck a cluttered workspace it always made James laugh considering she was so precise about everything else.

“No just came to see what your up too, just cooking up a mess I see” James said finishing up placing everything into neat piles.

“Why do you always clean up after me?” Lily asked finally taking her eyes off her paper.

“It just looks hard to study like that, Sirius always leaves his clothes on the floor so I usually pick them up for him. Remus always needs an extra hand after the moon and Peter is shit at making his bed so I pick up for them, you Lily my dear are horrible at keeping your workspace clean.” James said resting into the couch.

Lily sat there absolutely shocked, but in a good way. Maybe James wasn’t the arrogant annoying boy who would ask her out every second now, he was caring and kind and he cared for her.

She didn’t know what else to do other to do other than pull him in close and place her lips against his, it took James a very long time to register what the hell was happening.

Soon he reacted to the kiss and pulled her in closer there body’s perfectly aligning.

James was first to pull away, his pupils blown wide and his mouth wide open.

“James look I know I never liked you much well maybe I did, but your different you changed and I want to give us a go” Lily said quickly and nervously.

James still sat there shocked processing what happened.

“Yes” He muttered out slowly before Lily dived back in.

This was how most of the nights went for the next two weeks, one particular night Sirius and Remus were busy in the dorm.

The head office was quite large, it had a nice couch and large fireplace which was lit on this particular evening. Lily Evans sat sprawled across the the couch in a sports bra and her pyjama pants, a stray t-shirt laying on the floor.

“Holy shit Lily it’s burning in here” James said closing the door behind him and pulling his sweater leaving him half naked. “Why is it burning in here”

“I read that the heat can induce magical powers and I’m transfiguring my shirt and it’s not going well but in trying!” Lily said enthusiastically, grabbing James sweatshirt from him “Here watch”

She tried to transfigure the shirt into food but it did nothing, so she grabbed her own shirt and tried again, but this time it resulted in fire.

The shirt lit on fire causing the two to panic, James very quickly cast a cooling charm all over the room. An icy cold chill sealed the room, the fire went out as did what was left of the shirt.

Now the two sat freezing it was like a winter storm hit, James passed her his sweater.

“Aren’t you going to go back to your dorm?” Lily asked, cuddling into James trying to keep warm.

“No Sirius and Remus are getting busy, thought I’d let them be I’ll crash here tonight.” James said pulling the two down into the couch.

“Marlene and Dorcas are having a night too, mind if I crash here with you?” Lily said grabbing James sweater and transfiguring it into a blanket and draping it over them.

“Of course” James said placing a kiss on her forehead, the two fell asleep on the couch that night completely and totally in love whether they would like to admit it or not.

“Remus, it’s like 9 am and James hasn’t been back in the dorm. Can we go looking for him?” Sirius whined tugging on Remus.

“Yeah yeah, just let me get a sweater and I’ll grab the map.” The two found James on the map and ventured over to the office.

The two found the Lily and James cuddled up half naked on the couch, in the freezing cold.

Sirius cussed as he stepped into the freezing cold room casting a warming charm, the shock of the sudden room temperature change.

The two slowly wake up oblivious to the two boy watching them, Lily was curled up in James arms.

The size difference between the two was almost hysterical, James had to be almost 5 inches taller than the short girl.

As James went to flip Lily over Remus made a small noise which made the two quickly bring there attention to the two boys.

“Hi Remus, Sirius” Lily said softly hiding herself underneath James.

“How long Prongs?” Sirius asked smirking at the two.

“2 weeks” James said scowling.

“HA, I win I kept me and Moony longer than you and Lily” Sirius said running out the door, James pulled the blanket over Lily and sprinted after him yelling a string of curse words.

Lily sat up with the blanket around her and beaconed Remus over.

“We both fell for total idiots” Lily said laughing as the two laughed in agreement.

Sirius: ...

Marlene: ...

Sirius: Hold on, your gay right?

Marlene: Wait you too?

Sirius: Holy shit yes!

Marlene: Wait are you in love with your best friend too?

Sirius: YES BESTIE YES

Patient Log

Date: 17/4/75

Patient Name: McKinnon, Marlene

Injuries: Hexed, (Horn Tongue Hex)

Cause: Was hexed after breaking a pact, she quote on quote ‘Totally Deserved it so it doesn’t really matter that much’

Patient Name: Evans, Lily

Injuries: Also Hexed, (Bedazzling Hex)

Cause: Was hexed by Dorcas Meadows after she hexed Marlene because, ‘Marlene needs to to lock the door if she’s going to have her head between Dorcas legs.’

Date: 4/6/75

Patient Name: Black, Sirius

Injuries: Bludger to the chest

Cause: Hit by unknown member of the Slytherin team, it was ‘Totally unfair and bullshit! He could have ruined my beautiful physique’ Black Quoted.

Patient Name: Lupin, Remus

Injuries: Complains of pre moon pains

Cause: He was most definitely lying, full moon is in two weeks, he was later found in Sirius Blacks hospital bed.

Date: 5/11/75

Patient Name: Potter, James

Injuries: Permanent Sticking Charm (On Hand)

Cause: Hand was stuck to another unsuspected victim by our one and only Sirius Black.

Patient Name: Evans, Lily

Injuries: Permanent Sticking Charm (On Hand)

Cause: Hand stuck to James Potter’s hand, by the same Sirius Black.

James: No you don’t I look better-

Sirius: Deny this bitch:

With a touch of Jily to warm the soul

Remus and Sirius had been dating in secret now for about 2 weeks, they of course did intended on telling people just not quite yet.

The full moon had only been 2 days ago, it has been a particularly rough full moon so Remus was still very tired.

That weekend the Marauders and all the girls had planned to go to Hogsmet.

Sirius who desperately wanted to have some alone time with Moony adamantly volunteered to stay behind with Remus, the others hesitantly agreed to go.

“Alright you too, we will see you later don’t miss me too much” James said dramatically waving them off with the rest of the group.

Remus was sitting quietly reading his book in the empty common room, Sirius had other plans. He ran over to Remus on the couch and buried himself into Remus’s arms.

“Padfoot, I’m trying to read.” Remus said picking his book up again, Sirius simply snatched it out of his hand demanding more attention.

“Come on Moony, it’s just you and me” Sirius said moving closer if that was even humanly possible.

“Sirius I’m tired” Remus said slightly annoyed.

“That’s ok I’ll just stay here” Sirius said giving Remus a quick kiss and settling down against Remus.

It didn’t take long for Remus to fall asleep with the warm fire and the very warm Sirius, and right after Remus drifted off as did Sirius.

“Have you noticed that Sirius and Remus have been acting awfully weird” Lily asked taking a seat next to Marlene at the table.

“Definitely it’s so weird are the fighting?” James asked scooting a tad bit closer to Lily.

“You know of Pads has nightmares?” Peter asked the group.

“He does?” Dorcas and Mary asked simultaneously.

“Oh right yeah, he’s been having awful nightmares since he ran away last year. Every night he crawls into Remus’s bed, but recently he’s been going much earlier than usual.” Peter said taking a sip of his butter beer.

“I feel like we should check up on them it’s weird without them here anyway” Lily said, James strongly agreed.

The group made there way back to the castle.

“What if they are fighting?” Mary asked “I really don’t want to be apart of it”

“Oh god they are fighting” James said putting his face on his hands.

“It will be fine Jamie” Lily said rubbing his shoulder “It’s Sirius and Remus they are so close people think they are dating”

“Lily I can’t pick sides! I can’t been around this it could be bad for my hair, can I stay in your dorm! I’ll sleep on the floor!” James said about to have a meltdown.

“James if they are fighting, I’ll let you sleep in my bed without a shirt on” Lily deadpanned.

That seamed to get James in check for the rest of the walk back to the castle.

“What if they are fighting?” Marlene asked Lily.

“Then maybe I won’t mind a shirtless James in my bed” Lily said quietly.

Everyone made there way up to the quite common room and down the small hall, everyone stopped in there tracks when they saw the two sleepy boys cuddling.

“Oh shit look at Remus mouth” Dorcas said trying to hold back laughter.

“It has that stupid red chapstick on it that Sirius wears and his is smu- OH GOD” James jaw dropped to the ground and covered Peters eyes.

Sirius slowly woke up, until he opened his eyes he completely woke up, he jolted up from the couch at lightning speed.

“Uh hi” Sirius said slowly waking Remus up and not so quietly “We have a small minor problem but don’t stress Moony it isn’t that bad”

“Sirius if you woke me up and this isn’t an emergency I swear to Merlin I will-“ Remus said before he was abruptly cut off.

“Hey Remus” Marlene said trying to not laugh.

“Ah shit” Remus groaned sitting up and facing the group.

“So how long?” Lily asked laughing at the two boys red as the common room couch.

“Not long, like 2 weeks” Sirius mumbled.

“You didn’t tell me two weeks Padfoot! I’m so hurt” James said dramatically putting his hand on his heart laughing, then he proceeded to pull his shirt of and head towards the girls dorm.

“What’s he doing?” Remus asked looking back and forth between James and Lily.

“I’ll explain later, I’ve got to go accompany James” Lily said laughing making her way to her bed.

“So is this like serious?” Mary asked.

“Well I am Sirius after all, but yeah” Sirius said cuddling back down with Remus.

“Oh Lily! I’m so betrayed!” James said dramatically flopping onto Lily’s bed.

“Oh yeah?” Lily asked hoping into bed with James “Here I’ll tell you something and you can keep it a secret from them for 2 weeks and 1 day”

“What is it Lily Flower” James asked pouting.

“This” Lily said before pulling James in and kissing him.

I’d like to think that Remus Lupin was one of the best quidditch commentators Hogwarts had ever had.

He is so sarcastic it is almost painful and this man had an attitude.

But imagine how much he would love to smack talk the Slytherin Team.

“Yeah 10 points to Slytherin or whatever”

“Are you fucking kidding me that’s a foul he almost hit Sirius off his broom!”

He swears like a sailor, which everyone watching thinks is hilarious expect McGonagall

She has threatened his job far to many times, but everyone knows she secretly loves it and is always bluffing

Did I mention that he loves to tease people about there love life’s?

“Stop looking at McKinnons arse Meadows! We have a game to win admire her later”

“Although on the other hand Sirius Black is looking very fine and is in for a treat after the game”

“James Potter is very single ladies! And by ladies I mean red heads, and by read heads you know dam well I mean Lily Evans!”

“Sorry Lily he bribed me with Chocolate!”

Not to mention he has no clue about the rules, he knows jack shit about the sport and thinks it’s brutal

“Wow the little ball is going for the big ball or whatever!”

“Hey Minnie can I give bonus points? Because I think I should be able too, 1000 points to Gryffindor!”

But the best part of the job is at the end of the game when Sirius flys into the commentators and gives him a big old sloppy kiss in-front of everyone

James: I guess?

Siruis: It’s the ghosts of bugs that you’ve killed before.

Remus: Shut the fuck up guys it’s 2 am-

Sirius: ...

James: ...

Remus: How high are you?

The First place Sirius thought to go after he got disowned was the Potters, he was only sixteen at the time.

He didn’t think to use the Floo, he aparated as soon as he stepped foot out of the god awful Griummald Place.

He landed on the doorstep of the Potter with a large bang, it was late in the evening and the Potters had been sitting in the living room.

Everyone rushed to the front door to see Sirius Black shaking bruised and battered, covered in curse marks.

Mrs Potter had almost broken down crying at the sight, all the Marauders were her boys.

Sirius stumbled into the house and onto the living room couch, he refused to left anyone touch him. Let alone heal him.

Mrs Potter bought him up to a spare room and bought him into his bed.

James was in complete shock he had never seen Sirius this bad before, he had always come back to school with a few bruises.

But never like this, no one could console Sirius he wouldn’t let anyone touch him or even in his room.

So James did what he thought was best, he sent an urgent letter to Remus asking him to get to his house as soon as possible.

That very evening a panicked Remus was banging on the Potter residences door.

“What the hell Prongs, it’s 6:30 am this better not be prank” Remus was not a morning person.

But he was as soon as he heard what had happened last night.

Remus made his way up towards the guest room and sat outside the door.

“Hey Padfoot, it’s Moony I know your hurt in there I just want to make sure your ok”

Remus sat outside that door for 2 hours before he heard the door creak open, his heat broke in to pieces when he saw Sirius.

Sirius silently sat down next to Remus and buried his head into Remus chest, Remus engulfed him in a soft hug.

Just holding him, just Sirius and Remus.

“Remus” Sirius quietly muttered “Mh?” Remus responded bring his face up to his.

“I love you” Sirius said no longer holding back his tears “Your all I have left”

Sirius Black can’t go long without talking or being without Moony he is super clingy (He is a bottom this is the hill I will die on)

They share the majority of there classes and sit next to each other expect for Transfiguration, because McGonagal knows better.

So since they can’t talk they pass notes

Most of the time Remus acts annoyed when Sirius throws a piece of crumpled up parchment at Remus’s head. But he secretly loves it.

They never really had any issues with note passing until one day in 6th year.

Remus and Sirius has only recently stated dating so the news hadn’t got out to the teachers table yet.

One particularly boring lesson Sirius threw a note at the wrong time when McGonagall was walking around the classroom.

The note read: Moony you look stressed is it the moon? I love you I’ll give you a kiss after class to make everything feel better.

As soon as Sirius noticed McGonagall had the note he went completely red.

But Minnie simply smiled at the piece of parchment knowing Dumbledoor now owed her 20 Gallons because Dumbledoor is a bitch and totally deserves to be defeated