amber + camera

www.instagram.com/p/DPNOphCAF1S/ trying to make some little digital zines and collages again~ missing blogging and design. got so discouraged about Al and realized i don’t care. i can still make my silly art. AND do any of you still blog or have websites? for a bit i was obsessed with #neocities ~ nothing hits like the early internet days.

but yet most in-person jobs in my field (art/design/marketing) are full time. or at least more time than i have. my #1 priority is being there for my kids before and after school, organizing, cleaning, cooking.

i’ve been dog/cat sitting for many years now on the side (animals are my fave), but recently i started volunteering at beas school last year. i still enjoy helping there but i wanted to add some paid things also! and i’ve began guest teaching at colette’s school as well as have taken on a one-on-one client i’m supporting.

i’m still doing design but i’m mostly trying to stick with commissions these days vs designing things for other people. i love commissions—they’re paying for MY style. but i also love clients that are a good fit~

Well. It happened. A bat got in my house. And not just one bat, but two. And one of them? It spent the night with us, tucked away somewhere in the house, without me having a clue until I woke up to find it screeching and swooping in our hall at 3am. Poor baby. And poor us, namely my ocd and anxiety. I’ll admit, my first reaction was panic, followed by a wave of “how do I get this beautiful…

I simply enjoy these creative acts of kindness and scavenger hunt-style activities that involve inspiration, connection, and surprise. They’re meant to bring a little joy to others through small, colorful creations hidden in public places. I wanted a place to list all of these types of activities as well as offer an opportunity for visitors to leave notes about found items! My daughters and I…

So my daughter, Colette, has finally released a song with her signing and I am obsessed. She has sang, wrote lyrics, and composed music since she was 5. I have always been proud of her but her growth these days is insane.

from the hallway, colette’s chill and ambient sleep music plays in waves as the peach blossoms sway in the chilly breeze.

everything’s OK.

i meticulously planned each of my girls against all odds. at 25 i wanted to have a baby with my husband but i was always told i couldn’t carry/have kids based on biological reasons. when i did finally get pregnant, after all the issues staying pregnant with her, i was told i couldn’t have kids yet again.

after my husband got a reversal, and i lost a pregnancy, i became pregnant with my second daughter. almost 5 years ago now.

now that my dear family friend (that helped raise me and taught me unconditional love) has passed, i feel a deep sadness and regret. i wish covid hadn’t happened and i could have visited more. i wish i didn’t have to start my life all over from scratch, homeless and depressed even before covid. after years of isolation, i forgot about all of the people that i loved. the people that loved me. i suppose it made it easier to survive through that stretch of time. it’s much less painful if you really have no one else.

i now know i have a lot of someone elses. and it’s totally normal that humans need that. it’s important and it’s beautiful.

so i am feeling thankful for my daughters. we are each here together and that is truly my dream come true. and it’s ok to be sad at the same time because i hate imagining a life without my friend that passed.

relatable? adhd thing? i’m not sure.

as a side note, i just made a full page of logo variations for a client and my illustrator crashed. this never happens. eek.